Monday, March 30, 2009

Breaks, Broken, BROKE.

Stupid everything keeps stupid breaking!!!

*deep breath*

Ok, just a teensy little rant here. Do you ever just have a period of time when everything seems to break at once? Does it ever happen during a month when you're just behind everywhere and can't seem to catch your breath much less balance the dang checkbook? GAH!

On Whoopsie Wednesday, my drunk ass was nuking a plate of nachos (don't judge!) after The Hubster brought me home, when the microwave flashed brilliant white and then was silent. Never to nuke another nacho. No how.

This puts a cramp in my dinner-making style since I tend to microwave a bag o' Steam Fresh vegetables nearly every night, so since then I've had to *gasp* buy fresh vegetables and boil the damn things. That is just far too much effort for me, sadly. So, we need a new microwave.

Eight years ago, when we bought this house, the oven was on the list of "things to replace." Yeah, it's still here. It doesn't go over 400 degrees F. Well, you can set it to whatever you want, but be aware that if you set it even one itty bitty degree over 400, whatever you put in there will immediately be reduced to a charcoal briquette. Trust me. It took my husband several years of burning his frozen pizzas to take my word for it. And now, it's been getting worse; there's just no predicting when it will burn the crap out of your food. So, we need a new oven.

Last straw: I seem to go through digital cameras like they're the disposable cardboard kind. I mean, I try to treat them nicely; I keep them in a little padded camera bag and I don't let the kids play with them. Well, despite my best efforts, my beloved little Canon started acting weird a couple of weeks ago. I mean, I looked like crap in every shot, so it MUST be the camera, right? Heh. Right. Anyway, it really was taking blurry pics and it was pissing me off, so I got even with it by dropping it on my kitchen floor on Saturday while clowning around with Mala in a Merlot-induced photo sesh. So, we need a new camera.

I need to fall in a pile of cash, apparently, or else find a super duper Microwave/Range/Camera combo sale somewhere.

Farging icehole.


Two more pieces of shite to add to the list: my double toaster - one side is kaput for no discernable reason. Great. More importantly and MOST ANNOYINGLY, my cell phone keeps turning off with no warning while I'm talking on it! WTF??! I give up!


Mala said...

I'm so with you Sistah! Except we're well into 1+ years of break! Joe and I laughed about the rolling list of stuff that has just up and shit the bed. We've stopped counting now, it's just too depressing (and sort of like we're cursed). But I keep reminding myself, it's just *stuff*, at least my friends and family aren't *broken* and afterall, that's what's really important.
But still, freakin' enough already!!!
oh and I just got off the phone with PSNH. They're on their way out to take a look at our f'ed up electricity... freaking dim out to bright lights! Maybe the neighbors are growing weed again.
Anyhoo, many regrets about the camera. It's all fun and games until the photo shoot in abruptly ended by camera droppage.
Oh and that Digi-micro-range would be a bitch to put in your purse!

Mala said...

oh and you post just inspired my to fix myself a plate of nachos! Mmmmmmmm.
Oh by the way, speaking of broken, how's J feeling?

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

that happened to us with our oven and microwave right after we moved into our newly renovated home. my asshole husband bought a Dacor convection oven and a Dacor microwave on the cheap at one of those construction auctions. problem(s) being, they were both a little banged up when, which is why they were cheap. first, it was the touchpad on the oven, then the touchscreen on the fancy schmancy microwave stopped working. for about 2 years, you could only microwave shit using the "Easy Minute" button because it was the only setting that you could use without using the touchscreen!

my dad broke down and bought us a new microwave a couple of months back... my husband is such a cheap ass! well, he's never home anyway, so i guess he doesn't give a shit about the little things. LIKE A MICROWAVE THAT WORKS!

Harmony said...

Well you know what the say about things happening in 3's....I guess you really lived up to that saying.

When we moved into our new house our washing machine ate we bought a new one, two weeks later the dryer ate it....when it rains it pours. How cliche of me.

Samsmama said...

Sucks, suck, sucked.

That Harmony is SO cliche. :)

Bev said...

Mala - J's doing well, but still has shelf-ass going on. Not to mention the bruising.... I sent him an "ass bruise" picture on FB to rub it in. ;)

Enjoy your nachos... made in either your brand new microwave or your awesome fucking stove that I COVET!!!! With love, of course. Covet with love.

MOFM - That totally blows! First, that Asshole is also cheap (I mean, if you're gonna be an asshole, at least spend some dough, yo!), and 2nd that your stuff never worked properly in the first place! Bogus!

Harmony - the rule of 3 totally applies here! Besides, if it weren't for cliches, I'd have absolutely no blog material.

Samsmama - Stink, Stank, STUNK! :)

Samsmama said...

Well played, lady. Well played.

garrito said...

This reminds me of my fiancée's (there I go again with that stupid, stupid word) dad, who does not find technology agreeable. It's not that things don't work, per se, but that he has no patience with them. Among his accomplishments:

1. Axed a toaster oven that burned something.
2. Threw an answering machine out the window. No reason given.
3. Threw a DVD player down a flight of stairs. He claimed it wouldn't play a DVD. Fiancée (again with the fiancée?) informed him that sometimes discs don't play.
4. Removed the hard drive from his computer -- again, no reason -- and baked it in his oven (which thankfully worked). When it was sufficiently charred, he took it for a drive in the middle of the night and dropped it in Seattle's Duwamish Waterway.

Yes, I'm afraid of the man.

Tangent over.

Sorry about all your broken shit, Bev.

Bev said...

Garrito - BWAH!!! Firstly, I have to say it, "I cannot find my fiance'! Poor baby."

Secondly, your future father-in-law sounds like the TITS. I like him already, if for no other reason than for his completely random and unwarrented smashing of technology. LOL!