Thursday, March 12, 2009

Musicians who inspire violence in an otherwise peace-loving chick

Disclaimer: This is today's controversial post, apparently. I had no idea I'd incur the wrath of a certain artist's cuh-razy fanbase when I sat down to put some snark out there into the world this AM. I've deleted the loser singer in question, so all you jerkuses who came here from whatever bizarro world in which you dwell, move along. I am not really a violent person - it was a joke. Don't be so freakin' literal. Also, get a life. If you don't like the opinions expressed in this blog, don't read it, and in return I promise I will never set foot on one of your blogs. Deal? Deal. Buh-bye now.

There are a couple of musical acts out there whose music I dislike so intensely that I have an almost violent reaction when I hear it. It's like Pavlov's dogs or something, I just can't get it off my stereo fast enough. Sometimes I even whine and bat at my ears, but that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, sorry to offend if these are your favorites or whatever, but music is subjective and all that so... well, deal. ;)

Here goes:


All of my other musical preferences would indicate that I'd like these dudes, but I just DO NOT. Maybe it's the smarmy, pompous band leader Chris Martin that does it, or the fact that I find their music to be overly-sentimental horseshit. Either one.

On a related note, I hate Gwyneth Paltrow despite her frequent affiliation with Wes Anderson's movies, which I adore. Self-important, overly-priviledged hag! Anyway, Coldplay sucks.


Can't STAND them. The voice, the cheese, the whole damn thing. Extreme HATE.

Mariah Carey

Yes, I know she's got pipes. I recongize her talent. She's got that whole other octive thing, yadda yadda yadda.... But she's trashy through and through, and seems to revel in the trashiness. And I don't like sap, a point which I think I've made abundantly clear, and this woman's forte is sap. Fail!

The Steve Miller Band

Ok, I think we all had their greatest hits cd at some point, right? And I can still tolerate "Fly Like an Eagle", 'cause it's all mellow and split, but if I have to hear "I'm a joker, and a smoker, and a midnight toker...." one more freakin' time I'm gonna explode! It's impossible not to sing along with that song, and I hate myself for it. BOO.

That's all I can think of right now, but there are more. I'll jot some down next time I'm listening to the radio. Now, let it be known that in general, I love music! I love all different KINDS of music. Hell, I've been known to rock out to both Oompa bands and bagpipers, so when I have such a visceral reaction to someone's music, it's kind of noteworthly. To me, at least. :)


Samsmama said...

Coldplay is awful, and Paltrow is a shrew.

I DESPISE Mariah Scarey.

And Clay? I just don't get the fascination. He's a tool.

Anonymous said...

You're trying too hard to be cool. Oh and there's no reason why a gay artist shouldn't have fans. Your problem is that you think it should matter.

Bev said...

Wow - my very first anonymous hater comment! I think I have arrived!

Martigyrl said...

I'm trying to figure out if your writing is serious, or snark. The thought that these musicians would evoke violence in you is frightening,with you being a parent to 2 boys.
I don't think you're being serious.
If you are serious, is it their personalities, actions,what you read about them, or their singing in itself that you are complaining about? It can't be what you know about them personally, as I'm sure you haven't had the opportunity to meet and get to know each one of them.
Luckily, we have the freedom of choice, and the freedom to enjoy...or not, different genres in America.
I happen to enjoy 3 out of your 4 choices(no Mariah for me,*singing style*), but it's clear we can't all like the same singers. That's called diversity, and we can all use more of it, and acceptance of it. We don't need to insult individual musicians, if we don't care for their style.

Bev said...

Martigyrl, welcome. I don't think I've seen you here before, so I guess you're not familiar with my writing style or raison d'etre.

Yes, I go for snarky. No, I don't really have violent urges or tendencies.

Bev said...

Oh, one more thing. This is MY blog. I get to insult anyone I want here, last time I checked. I even put a little disclaimer at the beginning of my post saying that I realize some people might like these musicians, but if that's the case, so be it. MY blog. Don't like it? Don't read it.

Pam said...

Clay is the BEST....

Just kidding.

I do think Steve Miller Band is a good time though.

I am laughing at the Clay lovers coming out. Maybe it's Clay himself!!

Mala said...

I think I just pee'd myself!!!! I always thought the clay-miacs were a bit wackadoo, now I have confirmation! Middle-aged, Clay Aiken fans scare the shit out of me!

Cary said...

I would tell Anon and Martigyrl each to catch a fist in their ass, but since I think they are one and the same, one fist will do for both.


Clay Aiken is horrid, Howdy-Doody's talentless brother stealing oxygen from people who deserve it more.

Nickelback is a joke. Every goddamn song sounds the same. Less talent than even Clay Aiken, if that is possible.

Wait - am I trying too hard to be cool?

Gwyneth sucks. I liked her better when her head was in a box.

I will admit to liking some of Coldplay's stuff, but I don't contemplate suicide every time someone else says they don't like them.

Bev said...

"I love you, mans" all around! Except you, Anon & Martigyrl (if that is your REAL name), you can, as Cary so sagely suggested, "catch a fist in your ass." LMGDAO!


Samsmama said...

Wow, I had no idea what all went down after I left. Haters, be gone! How stupid.

Look, Lady, I'm a little annoyed with you. Why? Because I can't "follow" you. Or, if I can, I haven't figured out how. So I have to constantly stalk your blog as I'm afraid I'll miss something. As, clearly, I have. OXOX

Bev said...

Oh no! Can't follow me? Maybe *that's* why I have such a pathetic number of followers that I'm loathe to even put them on my page? Eesh! I guess I have to 'fess up and put it up there to fix the glitch. :D