Tuesday, March 3, 2009


So it was 5:45 PM today and I just left the gym, and I was wandering around the grocery store foraging for dinner to feed my grouchy kidlets when I suddenly realized that all I'd had to eat all day was a reduced fat string cheese and a 200 calorie Lean Cuisine. No wonder I felt like I was gonna pass out in the deli section, yo.

So I get myself a little snack for the ride home. I've sworn off chips of all kind (yes, again), so I picked up some California rolls.
I had 2 or 3 of them while driving home. I was spreading the ginger and wasabi at stop lights and enjoying them quite thoroughly, praising myself for my virtue by eating crab meat, avacado, and rice instead of fat-laden Lays. Those of you who don't live nearby are probably thanking your lucky stars that you don't have to drive around near douchebags like myself who prepare savory snacks while maneuvering a gigantic minivan, right? And those of you who live near me, you have been warned. Muuaahaaahaaa!

Anywho, I had forgotten about wasabi, and how potent it can be. Don't get me wrong - I love me some spicy food. I'm typically not happy until my eyes are watering and I'm gasping for water (I have underlying masochistic tendencies, but who doesn't?), but in this case I might've gone overboard. I must have spread just a touch too much wasabi on one of my rolls because all of the sudden I was sputtering and flailing. I almost had to pull over! It was like deathly burning fire in my throat, man!

But that didn't stop me from having another.

If you're waiting for me to get to the point, keep waitin'. I am only telling you this so you can picture me eating sushi while operating a motor vehicle. Enjoy the visual. Savor it.

That, and I love spicy California rolls. That shit is delicious.


Brooklyn ML said...

GREAT visual! Totally cracked me up. Glad you didn't crash.

Samsmama said...

Ok, read this yesterday and JUST NOW got the "waaaaaaassssssuuuuup" reference.

Elliott said...

That sounds like it has nearly the messiness quotient of eating tacos in the car. I love the little taco trailers and they have the best tacos ever, but they CANNOT be eaten while driving if you have any plans of being seen in public.

My WV is 'todububm', makes me wish I'd had a zinger to tell you so I was worthy of the rimshot afterward.


Elliott said...

Oh, and NOW I get the perfect post-sushi-post WV: gingier - as in, 'I added one piece of pickled ginger, but you can add more if you like it gingier.'