Monday, April 13, 2009

Brought to you by....

Last night after the kiddos were finally coaxed down from their sugar highs and wrangled into bed, Dh and I sat down to watch a little television. It was dismal at first; there's just nothing on on Sunday nights, but then we struck programming gold! The first 6 episodes from season 1 Arrested Development! Yahooooo! One of my favorite shows, from the beginning, and of course... Jason Bateman. Hubba hubba.... ;)

The show is on some obscure cable channel called G4. It's obviously not a really popular channel, and you can tell because of the quality of the advertisements. Many of the ads look like they were produced at some local TV station (NTTAWWT!), and all of them contain highly questionable products.

For instance, we saw this one about 5x over the course of a few hours:

Yes, wood extenders. These ads had terrible production value, were about 2 minutes long, and contained these horribly embarrassing "man on the street" style testimonials. Awkward!

** The Jim would like me to mention at this time that no, we aren't going to purchase said product anytime soon as we have NO NEED for them. As a matter of fact, his using them would "probably be dangerous for anyone standing around nearby." **

You have to wonder wth is in those little capsules! Seriously, if they're directing more blood down south, what happens to the rest of the dude? "Yes, my johnson is huge, but is my arm supposed to be tingling like this? And why am I drooling uncontrollably??"

The other ads were equally hilarious and troubling, which leads me to believe that the demographic for G4 is Snuggly-wearing, small-penis having, Rascal-driving, SlapChop-buying potheads (as evidenced by their promos for their planned 4/20 movie event).

Now that's just good TV!


Samsmama said...

We see that commercial often and are always really curious as to how it works. Seriously. My husband always jokes about taking it, but then I imagine him walking around, knocking over figurines and stuff, like in "Road Trip".

Jill said...

OMG - I cracked up today - so on Sat I shouldn't ask if Jim is using Extenze? I'm *almost* thinking about starting a blog (and procrastinating and not posting to it... pretty much my style) just so that my picture shows up why I comment... I've TOTALLY got picture envy for everyone else. How lame is that. Can you tell that I got home from work and just downed a beer and it went to my head? oops - oversharing again. I'm mostly just procrastinating packing for my trip to FL (tomorrow).

Mala said...

I think it contains an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Jo said...

LOL! We watch that channel also and yes they do run that commercial way too much. I know someone who tried Viagra, no not my hubby, and he said it gave him such a horrible headache that all he could do was go to sleep. For the first time, HE was the one complaining of a headache. Hahahaha!

Mala said...

Well, with all that blood traveling down to the southern hemisphere, I'm sure headaches are common. As well as dizziness, confusion, impaired judgement, ass-holedness.... oh wait... is my husband taking that shit?

When it comes to the wood extenders, my favorite would have to be the "Meet Bob" Enzyte commercials. Especially the Santa packing something extra special this year with the 'gift that keeps on giving' spot. Although all of co-workers taking turns sitting on his lap is a bit... disturbing.

Bev said...

Samsmama - You & your husband crack me up! I wanna hang with you two.... Btw, I've never seen Road Trip, believe it or not. I shun all things Tom Greene... well, except for the Bum-bum song.

Jill - I love ya!!! Never fear oversharing - I *live* for oversharing! I'm so glad you all got that I was kidding around with Jim's little comment. After I wrote it I started to worry that people would think I was being SERIOUS. Ha... not likely. Btw, you can still have a pic even if you have no blog - just click your little shaddow dude picture and it will tell you how to upload one. :)

Mala - Definitely something cosmic, for sure! Oh, and should I ask Joe if he's always on Extenze? hee! That would sure confuse him.

Jo - Oh suuuuure, not your hubby. A likely story! LOL! I would imagine having a killer headache WOULD dampen the mood a bit. Not that I'd know, since I'm always good to go. ;)

Oh, and Mala, I don't think I've seen that particular spot, but it sounds like a doozy!! Santa with a hard-on? Merry Christmas, indeed.

Mala said...

WHAT? You've never seen the 'Chubby' Santa spot? You know, the big 'sack of pride'? Damn I wish I could post videos as comments. Heading to your Facebook to spread some holiday cheer!

Mary said...

whatttt:????? G4? I LOVE LOVE LOVE AD! And you are so right...Jaosn Bateman is just...sigh. He's awesome :)
p.s. I called my 17 year old son on his cell the other day..his away message is just him whistling the Extenz or Extenz (whatever) theme...good god that kid's funny. Hope my mom doesn't call him.

Cary said...

I thought about getting some of that stuff. Our ceilings need painting.

Bev said...

Mala - you were right. Brilliant!

Mary - You are obviously the coolest mom on the PLANET! First, you love AD and Jason Bateman, secondly, your son is clearly the coolest kid ever! I don't know if I'd even recognize the theme music! That totally rocks!

Cary - you missed a spot. *muah*

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

wow, i'm late to the game on this one...

i ABHOR bad cable commercials. but seriously? the worst are the CASH POINT ones - you know, where they are trying to tell poor people to take their car titles to the place where someone will cash in their assets? just pisses me off whenever i see one.

debbie downer

Bev said...

I know!! I also hate the ones asking you to send in your gold jewelry for untold riches. Are people really that gullible? oh yeah, yes, they are.

You are SO not Debbie Downer! :) <---- see? I'm not down!

Harmony said... are right those commercials are of poor quality. The couple "confessionals" crack me up.

I always wonder if the guys in the commercial, are always defending themselves in real life "It was a commercial, I am an actor! Here take a look, I am always ready!!!"

Cary said...

I miss the ones with the guy in the suit with question marks all over it

Bev said...

Harmony - I'll bet they are! It's like the Friends episode when Joey does an ad for an STD med, right?

Cary, oh Cary... I miss the professor dude, too. I wonder what became of him? Maybe he went the route of the ShamWow guy and got his tongue bitten off by a hooker? The world may never know.