Monday, April 6, 2009

Rainy days & Mondays always get me down

And today it is both rainy AND a Monday. It's a double whammy!

So, the weekend was good, and restful. We had a real-live babysitter on Saturday night and went to see I Love You, Man with some friends of ours. It was a cute movie, but I got a little bored towards the end. There's that great short-attention span workin' for me. Yesterday I just sat around and read while Dh took the boys outside to play in the puddles. I only felt mildly guilty for being lazy, but mostly I was just glad we hadn't made any plans for the day.

Now I'm back at work, and my crazy-ass coworker is already bugging the shit out of me. She's got her 70-year-old panties in a wad because the electric stapler seems to be stapling things so that a sharp metal point juts out of the paper. I'll take a look at it and will probably be able to fix it, 'cause I'm a super office genius, don'tchaknow. But not right now, because she bugs me. :)

Also, she put her last ink cartridge into her printer, which means she wants me to order 3 more because she's like a compulsive office-supply hoarder and she can't STAND it when we use the last of anything. In about 3 minutes she'll come over to my desk with a Post-It note with the name of the ink cartridge on it. She's not allowed to order stuff because of her crazy supply issues, so she has to wait for me to do it. This is where I lord my AWESOME SUPPLY POWER(TM) over her by making her wait a couple of days before ordering them. Muahaahaa! I just love how anxious she gets, because WE know that she won't be running out of toner any time soon, but her OCD won't let her chill about it until the new cartridges are stacked neatly in her little cabinet.

Passive aggressive? Moi??? I don't know what you're talking about.

What's hilarious is that this is just the kind of crap that made Office Space such a gem of a movie. I mean, for real. It's just this type of assinine, nit-picky stuff that drives your average office worker bat-shit crazy on a daily basis! It's funny 'cause it's true!

But it's honestly not that funny when you're living it, and when your job title basically makes you the complaint department. And when you work with a bunch of uptight douchebags who think it's CRAZY IMPORTANT when the creamer gets low in the break room, or when there's a light bulb out in the parking lot.

Yeah, come to think of it, it's not funny at all. *sigh*


jessica o said...

Why I traded working full time for full-time poverty. You should post a To-Do list and put that on it. Check off everything else, and leave that one unchecked for a few days to make her extra-super squirmy.

jessica o said...

This is why I traded a full-time job in for full-time poverty.

Danielle said...

so i just popped over here for list of the day. it seems that you and i have the exact same job title...but it has no exact title which makes you everything that no one else wants to be. and i have one of those ocd's in my office too, only she's my mom and in her fifties. fun times. fun times. you're funny...i'll be back.

garrito said...

She's got 70-year-old panties? Ew.

If you really want to see her squirm, tell her the cartridges are on back order and will take a few weeks to arrive. Or purposely order the wrong model and wait until she notices and freaks out. Then hit her with it.

Mala said...

Oh man, you make me happy that I stay up here on the hill and converse solely with those in the single digits and quadrapeds.

Bev said...

Jessica O - I'm thinking poverty sounds decent right now! Love that to-do list idea. That might be juuuust the ticket to push her into retirement. ;)

Danielle - welcome!! Glad to meet ya. I hope to hear more from a fellow office dweller like yourself. Misery does love company.... Also, this woman I work with is pretty much what I imagine working with my own mother would be like, except without the ability to tell her she's driving me insaaaaaaaane!

Garrito - Touche, brutha! I knew when I typed that shit that it sounded wrong. Stupid grammar! Anyway, love that idea!

Mala - you don't know how good you've got it! I'd trade any given conversation with my coworkers for a chat with one of your horses. Heck, if they had opposible thumbs, they'd be better at the job than most of these assclowns!

Harmony said...

LMAO that she is not allowed to order office supplies. How fucking nutty to you have to be, to get banned from ordering supplies? I totally love it.

Look at you playing the evil Lord of all things supply related...I would SO be lying if I were to tell you that I would never do anything like that. I mean, is she is going to bug the shit out of you, you might as well get some pleasure from it...right?

kay zee said...

Is it hailing there????

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

dude, don't ever feel guilty for being what you call "lazy." on saturday, asshole took the kids to a late lunch and then over to the inlaws for a bit. (THAT NEVER HAPPENS.) i sat on the couch with a plate of tortilla chips and a bowl of guacamole and watched a movie. didn't move an inch and didn't feel guilty. but then again, my husband is one of the biggest assholes on the planet.

oh yeah, people are SO strange about office supplies!

we have a guy in the our office that is referred to simply as "Office Space".

Bev said...

Harmony - yeah, we keep her on a VERY short leash! As in, just sit there and make pretend spreadsheets, dumbass. I still have NO IDEA what she does around here... except annoy the tar outta me!

Kay zee - Nope, no hail, but it's raining kittens out there! You have hail?!

MOFM - that afternoon sounds KILLER. Seriously, now I'm craving chips & guac in the worst way. :) Thanks for making me feel better, too. I guess we earned some "me" time what with working with the Office Space crew all week long, right?!

PS) I need to know more about "Office Space" guy. Seriously.

Samsmama said...

Lazy? Yesterday I finally got out of my pajamas at 6pm. Took a shower, and put them right the fuck back on.

I think we've all worked with weird, offic supply people. Dude, it's a pen. Chill. We'll get more.

Bev said...

Samsmama - I love pajama days! I try to set aside one day per weekend for lazy days like that, but don't always succeed.

Have you seen the Kids in the Hall sketch, "My Pen?" I have it here in the archives somewhere. Good shit. :)