Monday, May 4, 2009

Really quickly, because I don't want to dwell.

Here's what's up with me, behind the scenes:

My dad is dying. He has stage 4 NSC lung cancer and a very weak heart. Everything's uncertain; we have no idea how many days/weeks/months we will have with him, or what his quality of life will be. I'm trying to stay positive, see him as often as possible, and accept this process as being part of nature.

But, I'm really, really, really, really sad. I'm choosing to keep things as normal as I can for myself and my family. I will probably not talk about this too much on the blog, because I like keeping this a "happy place."

I'm also pissed, because after a lifetime of being spectacularly un-psychic, my first accurate premonition had to be about something this awful. :(

BUT, back to the happy thoughts. Here are some things that are going to pull me through this week:

The next installment of the Sookie Stackhouse novels comes out tomorrow. We only get one new book per year, people! Sadly, I devour these books so fast that this will likely only bring me a day or two of diversion, but I'll try my best to milk it for the whole week. I know they're mindless, I know they're fluff... but both of those seem like REALLY good things for me this week.

Television. Tonight there's a new How I Met Your Mother (shut up, I love that show), new LOST on Wednesday, and of course, The Office & 30 Rock on Thursday. Also, Alan Alda is guest starring on 30 Rock this week. Sweeeeeet.

Music. This morning it was The Beatles (skipping Let It Be, Eleanor Rigby, and In My Life... for obvious reasons). Yesterday, Beck and The Dead. Cake. Zeppelin. Modest Mouse for when I'm feeling spacey and offbeat; of course, my favorite album of theirs is The Moon & Antarctica, but really Good News for People Who Love Bad News would be more appropriate. Tom Petty, for when I just want to sing along. I have a prescription for every mood this week, but I will not wallow in sad stuff. Even Alexi got the boot this week; too solemn.

My kids. Because it's impossible not to smile when I watch them chase each other around and giggle. Because the little guy's hair is getting all long and blond and I don't want to cut it, but don't want to let it get all Ryder Robinson, either.

Arrested Development on Hulu. Just... yes.

Work. Yes, I hate my job and my coworkers are being their usual phony selves with the alleged-sympathy and pitying looks, but at least it's keeping me occupied.

Wednesday. My day off, and a day to hang with a friend and laugh, shop... act normal. This week I am thinking I need a massage!

All of you. No pressure! But, I do enjoy keeping up with my peeps on your blogs, my blog, FB, email, HL, and elsewhere. Seriously, you make me laugh and think about stuff that doesn't involve doom & gloom. Thank you.

14 comments:

Teresa said...

I am so sorry about your dad. This month my dad has been gone for a year. I know that there are no words that will really make you feel better, but just know you are in my thoughts.

Mala said...

Bevers, sending you constant hugs. But you knew that. So I'm throwing in a grope or two... just to keep you on your toes. Coz that's how I roll, sista!
I'm thinking of posting a...well, post, for you on my blog now that you've mentioned Alexi, who evokes two images for me; one being skreech (yeah, I know. Sorry) and the other is his seriously tight jeans. Well, my dear, just when you think jeans couldn't be tighter, or more revealing, let me assure you, they can. And that was my Friday night.

But while I think of ways to compose such a post without turning off half my readers (while probably turning ON the other half), let me just raise my hand and give a little "pick me! pick me!" for Wednesday. If you don't already have plans, I'm totally your girl! (I mean, Forever Your Girl)

Samsmama said...

Thinking of you! BUT back to happy!

How I Met Your Mother rocks! I love that show! Monday nights are busy for our DVR.

And love that Mala not only groped you, but went Paula Abdul on your ass!

Jo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bev said...

Teresa, thank you so much. I'm sorry about your dad, too. I appreciate the kind thoughts.

Mala, thank you, and you so funny! Thanks for goosing me; I totally needed to be felt up today and DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT! Must hear more about these tight-jeans-wearing-rockstars. Trust that I will be blog-stalking you until I do. Also, Wed. is up for grabs! Spa day?

Ma' peeps LOVE droppin' the Paula! Killer!

Samsmama, thanks, sweetie. I'm glad to know a fellow HIMYM fan! Is Barney Stinson the coolest MF character on tv right now? I think he is. But then again, I've loved NPH ever since he played himself in Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle. Hell yeah I saw that movie, and I fucking loved it! So?

smooches & gropes all around....

Jo said...

Again, I am sorry to hear about your dad, Bevy.

I have only caught two episodes of How I Met Your Mother. The one with Brittney Spears and another with Wayne Brady guest starring. Wayne is my secret crush. He is geeky yet very talented. If only he'd let that hair go. One's hairline should not begin that far back. teeheehee. I will add HIMYM to my DVR and check it out on a regular.

Harmony said...

You know I got nothing but love for you...sending lots of XOXO's your way.

Mala ~ I just might love you, a grope or two made me laugh out loud.

HIMYM is one of my favorite shows. NPH is freaking awesome, and Barney Stinson is the MAN! Everything that character says has me rolling...I seriously LOVE Barney Stinson. Like Samsmama our DVR is busy on Monday nights. Also? Big Bang Theory..is hilarious.

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

bev, i love you.

also? i'm a huge doogie howser fan. isn't he gay? because i love the gays.

also? hush hush...

LASTLY, OH DEAR GOD my word verf = "MILISM". milism: shit that your MIL says to piss you the fuck off.

laurieliz said...

I'm so sorry! Words can not express...I know when my mom had cancer, I just kept super busy and distracted also. If you do need to talk though, you know where to find me.

Sooo looking forward to the Charlaine Harris book....and watching How I Met Your Mother as we speak....finally meeting their mother..thank the good Lord!

Steph said...

OMFG. You read the Sookies??!? That's it, we're BFFs now. (Also, do you watch True Blood, the HBO series based on the Sookies? If so, I'm leaving Bill for you. Well, not really, but seriously, I love that show.)

Also, LOST FOREVER.

Bev said...

Thanks, everyone! I want to hump all of your legs. I love you that much!

Jo, your WB crush is safe with me! I can see it - he's cute!

Harmony, I haven't watched Big Bang Theory yet, but will give it a shot since you like it!

MOFM, no, YOU HUSH PAULA! Fucking Keanu Reeves was in that video and I loved me some Keanu! Ok, I still do, I admit it, even though he sometimes resembles a homeless guy. That's alright, baby. I don't judge! Also, yes, Doogie is totally gay! He came out last year. GO NPH!

Laurie - can you believe who the mother is??!

Steph - you love Sookie too!? This is a match made in heaven! We're like, twinsies. :) Yes, love True Blood so much that I'll be ordering HBO specifically so I can watch it. Sad, but true.

Also, love getting LOST! Season finale next week... boo!

Cary said...

Oh Bev... sorry to hear that. You do need a massage. I'll be right over.

jessica o said...

Can't Wait to Get to Heaven by Flannie Flagg who wrote Fried Green Tomatoes is a great book. Very funny look at death.

Not knowing is impossible. Sorry, Bev. I'm glad you have so many people around you who clearly love you. {{{hugs}}}

Happy stuff: I never watch How I Met... BUT I love Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

raskal said...

Bev, I just can't figure out what to say... how about I love you and I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry.

I have been netflixing HIMYM and superlove it. It's LEGENDARY! ;)