Friday, June 12, 2009


Since I am too burned out on this Friday morning to make a post containing any real substance, I will bore you with the fleeting thoughts of my rain-addled brain. And you will like it, by God. Don't make me come over there.

Let's see. I need to remember to call the cable company and order HBO today. True Blood starts up again on Sunday night and I. AM. PUMPED. I have no idea why I'm such a freak about vampire stuff; I never was before the whole Twilight/Dead Until Dark phenomenon took hold of me, but I am pretty sure it has something to do with the sex aspect of it all. Sigh. I am such a perv, you guys. Sometimes I surprise even myself. Also, I think it's getting worse as I get older! Is that normal? Do I care? Probably no on both counts.... At any rate, True Blood is a sexy-ass show with sexy-ass vamps who like to screw and bite people, and I am all about it. Oh, and now we know that Anna Paquin (Sookie) and Stephen Moyer (Bill) are totally doing it IRL, so that's kind of hot, right? Buh-RING IT!

Next: Some celebrities should not speak. Every time I turn around I am reading some terrible quote from Shia Labeouf, for instance. Now, I had no real opinion about him before; he's not hot, so he was kind off my radar. But now that we know certain things about him, he creeps me right out. For instance, we know:

- He is poorly endowed
- He wants to have sex with his mother
- His parents used to smoke weed & get it on right in front of him, events for which he now credits his "R-rated sense of humor."

I am too lazy to validate all of these stories with links, so you're gonna have to take my word for 'em. You can also look at the "Shia LaDouche" category over at Dlisted since I'm pretty sure I read it all there.

What else? The weekend looks like it'll be decent. Tomorrow we've got a b-day party for one of Danny's classmates, and we're friends with her parents so hopefully it'll be a good time for all involved. D's excited to wear his Power Ranger costume because it's a Super Heroes party. I can't stop calling it a Pooper Heroes party, because I have the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy, but you knew that.

Speaking of that, I took one of those silly Facebook quizzes last night and it told me I have a 100% dirty mind. Ha. Like that's news! Duuuuuhhhh. But honestly, how dirty do you have to be to see a woman's crotch in this picture? It SO does not look like a lamp until you squint and slap yourself in the head for being such a dirty birdy. RIGHT?

Sunday we're going up to my mom's house and I will be digging through her piles of disorganized photos so you can all see what a freak show I was during the 70's and 80's. You're welcome. Oh, and I clearly gained my mad organizational skillz from my mom, since I too have drawers full of disorganized, non-scrapbooked pictures. It's a proud tradition, really. I take my slackerdom very seriously. Ok, no I don't. Whatever. What was I talking about?

I'm so sick of my job and my boss that I just might hurt someone today. Honestly, if my boss uses the "royal we" one more time this morning, I might haul off and punch him. On edge? Moi? I don't know what you're talking about! I'm just not in the mood for his crap today, is all, and he's going 1000 mph and is all up in my bidness! Back off, yo, or taste my wrath. FYI, it does not taste like chicken.

On a happier note, Mala and I are planning our next get-away for July. WOOT! I am always happiest when I have something fun to look forward to, and this looks to be a good time. I'll tell you all about it another time. Right now I am hungry, and I need to go enjoy a Diet Coke and smile.

Have a lovely day, TGIF, and TTYL!


MtnMama said...

I had a difficult time seeing the lamp.

LMAO @ "FYI, it does not taste like chicken."

sooooo get you about work. but I've got 2 weeks left. tick tick tick

I thought that the "sex thing" with Twighlight was that they DON'T do it. Just skate around it. but I haven't read/watched it so what do I know...

Cary said...

I saw the lamp.

You are all pervs. I'm appalled.

Except the screwing and biting sounds kinda fun.

Bev said...

Mtn Mama - Exactly, there is no real sex in Twilight, which was frustrating for dear ol' Bev. But, it is a love story, and they are horny teenagers, so I was able to "go there" on my own using my twisted little imagination. YAY me!

Cary - Sure you did. I believe that like I believe that I'd really enjoy being bitten during sex. Well, bitten hard, anyway. :-o

calicobebop said...

I still can't see the lamp!

"I am pretty sure it has something to do with the sex aspect of it all." Girl, me too. Something about all that the screwing and biting. I might have to order HBO myself!

Samsmama said...

D Listed is such trash. I love it.

I'm not into the whole vampire thing. But I don't judge.

I love that picture. Such a classic.

No, no biting. Some hard nibbling, fine. But no biting. Let's just cut the bullshit and spank me already.

Mala said...

What freakin' lamp?! I see only a martini glass....

I spent WAAAYYYYYY too much time yesterday plotting out our Girls Gone Wild trip (but fear not, still manage to conquer Mt. St. Laundry, mow the lawn (AGAIN!) and clean the house. Of course Joe came home, woke me up and asked when I'd be cleaning the frig. FML)
Can't wait!

psssttttt.... Bev wears a pin that reads "Fang Banger" *giggle*

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

dude, that's SO a woman's crotch. lamp, schmamp!

i haven't watched true blood, but i've been told i will like it. i love vampires who like to fuck and suck blood! i read all of the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice back when i used to read.

i read the shia lebouf interview in playboy. that's where he says all those things. i don't dislike the guy, but he's fucked in the head.

have an awesome weekend! :)

Harmony said...

I had to reload your page just to see the woman's crotch. *sigh* I wallow in filth..but redemption is mine at a second glance to see a lamp. But then the third was a woman's crotch and then the..oh screw it, it's both!

Bev said...

Calico - thank you! Yes, order HBO... I will need someone with whom to discuss the deliciousness of each episode....

Samsmama - Yes, it is trash, which is why I've been a loyal reader for... oh, say, about 4 years now. Whoopsie! Also, thanks for not judging my vamp fixation. I don't judge either, which is prolly why we get along so famously! Also, I don't spank chicks, but maybe ask Cary. Or MOFM.

Mala - LMAO! Joe needs to get a grip, dude! For rlz. I will come kick his ass, and I WILL wear my "fang banger" pin while doing so. Jealous? ;)

MoFM - I love that you read Playboy! I was just telling someone the other day that I'm a big fan of the Playboy. Well, I was back when I used to sneak into my dad's underwear drawer to read them. For the articles, of course. ;) Sadly, the last issue I saw was in college, but I distinctly remember that it was the Drew Barrymore issue, so I really liked it. I like Drew - she's exactly our age! Wonder how her tits have held up...? Sigh.

Harmony - ha!!! I also wallow in filth. Let's wallow together and we'll never have to pretend to see that pesky lamp again, k?

Frank Irwin said...

I think that you and Mala should go to Austin for your vacation. I'm sure that Cheastypants would love to see y'all!

Bev said...

Frank, this is for you.

Frank Irwin said...

Back at ya, sweetiepie.

Samsmama said...

I'm so thankful to have clicked on the "follow up comments" box! Otherwise, I would have missed out on the awesomeness that is Bev (Sam wants to know why I was listening to frogs) and the glory that is Frank!

Frank Irwin said...

Sometimes, Samsmama, I only comment so that I can press the "Followup Comments" box.

And, thanks.

Samsmama said...

No, thank YOU!

Kate said...

My brain seems to be permanently on hiatus.

A. I kept reading that Sookie and Bill were doing it URL. What the fuck? I was whimpering "I don't understand, wah, wah, wah, oh wait that says IIIIRL. That makes more sense." As Emily Litella would say, "never mind."

B. I didn't even begin to understand the exchange between you and Frank until I clicked on Post Comment. The links don't show up real well when you are looking at them against the dark background of your blog page. And did I move my cursor over the words to see if the underline would show up? Nope, course not, that would have been the logical thing to do.

C. Do I need to re-evaluate my sexual orientation? I couldn't stop looking at the crotch.

Does any of this make sense? Am I rambling? I can't seem to stop, seriously, I am having issues here. Verbal vomit is spewing from my mouth, somebody please stop me. I think I might need an it turns out I can stop on my own.

Samsmama said...

Again, thankful for follow up comment alerts.

I adore Kate. On so many levels.

Mala said...

Whaaaaaaaaaa?! Bev! That link you left for Frank sent me straight to some page that asked "Do you want an instant rimshot?" WTF?! Is that like a rimjob???
Why?! Why?!
(what? I've been drinking... and some meds. STFU)
I wish you were here right now coz I'd pet you and tell you that I love you.

Stacie's Madness said...

i totally see a woman's crotch ;)

hope you have a great weekend!

Cary said...

They'd see you, too, Frank, but you'll probably be off at a concert somewhere, right?


Bev said...

Frank Irkwin -- that'll do. ;)

Samsmama - I got yer awesomeness right here!

Kate the Great - A. HAHAHAHAHA! We'll keep blaming preggo brain, k? B. Point taken! I just changed my link color to make it easier to see! C. I often can't stop staring at crotches, which is awkward! Just ask Mala... and every musician I've ever seen in concert. (blush)

Samsmama - DITTO! Kate rawks.

Mala - HA! Guess you finally got your doc to give you something for that back pain, eh? Or, is this self-prescribed grape-based medicine? Either way, thanks for making me giggle! No, I don't want a rimjob, but ask Frank. I hear he likes that sort of thing. Oh, and pet me and love me all you want, girl. Love me some effed-up Malomatic!

Stacie - welcome! And I can tell you'll fit in juuuuuust fine 'round these parts. We ALL saw the crotch, no matter what Cary says.

Cary - bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Right on.

Audra said...

I know that is a lamp yet everytime I gasp a little

outdoor wedding venues said...

I can't see the lamp.