Thursday, July 16, 2009

Things that I think, Thursday edition

I'm pretty sure I put a contact in backwards today, because it's bugging me. Or, it might still have glitter on it from yesterday; Mala and I were trying our hardest to sample every fugly eye shadow in Sephora, and one of them was Drag Queen Sparkly and I got it everywhere, including in my left eye. Glitter doesn't come off with a tissue or make-up remover, did you know? Yeah, it doesn't.


I just realized while talking to my boss that is impossible for me to say the word "type" without holding my hands out in front of me on an imaginary keyboard and wiggling my fingers in a typing motion.


I described a shirt I was trying on yesterday as "Mrs. Roper chic," and then I bought it anyway.


Mala wants me to pick my new ringtone for her cell phone, and I can't for the life of me think of what my "signature song" will be. Previously she used Weezer's Say It Ain't So, but only because we like Weezer, not because it was specific to ME. I was toying with the idea of making it Jet's Cold Hard Bitch, but I'm really not; I'm actually kind of a softie, to be honest.... Hmmm. Suggestions are welcome!


Speaking of ringtones, I changed my husband's the other day. Now, when my lovable space cadet calls me, I hear, "This is Major Tom to Ground Control...." Heeee.


I got an awesome surprise b-day gift today in the form of a new Lebowski bobblehead of my fave character, Maude! She is now perched on my desk right next to The Dude in his bedroom slippers, thereby completing my desk's "I'm still cool even though I work in this stuffy financial office" theme. Today's subtitle is courtesy of Maude, who has some damn good lines in that movie.


I really want to go see the new Harry Potter movie. Don't hate - I love HP. I know, I know - NERD ALERT! Whatev, STFU. :)


The new perfume I got yesterday smells amazing, but comes in an ugly bottle. Annoying.


Finally, here are a couple of cell phone pics to be the cherry on the crap sundae that is this post.

Lunch yesterday, which we had to ingest so quickly (b/c we were running late to pick up Mala's kidlets) that I actually got a little tummy ache. It's okay, though - it was nothing a glass of white wine couldn't fix.

and last but not least, me and my BFF sitting in the car, stuck in an inexplicable rubber-necker-traffic jam on I93:

What's funny about this picture (aside from my red eye from the aforementioned glitter issue) is that I'm actually tan (for me) right now, but I still look like Casper's ugly kid sister next to my bronzed-goddess buddy Malomatic. Awesome.

Better go get some work done. Later, taters (heh heh)!


Elliott said...

Glitter doesn't come off with a blowtorch or divine intervention. I walked past a Club Libby Lou at the mall six years ago, and I still have glitter spot-welded to me somewhere, I'm sure.

LOVE the bobblehead. I really need to see the movie again, it's been far too long.

Courtney said...

Sounds like you had a awesome birthday. I manage to put my contacts in wrong EVERY TIME!!!! Like I haven't worn them for at least 10 years.... WOW

Kristen said...

Mmm. Sushi. Yummy! Glitter has the ability to reproduce like fucking rabbits. You will find it everywhere for months. As far as the ringtone...I can only think of Mrs. Robbinson.

Mala said...

I have never seen The Big L. Don't shoot me. Chuck that on the pile of shit I still have never seen.

I'd love to see the gesture you make when you tell your boss to go screw!

And you look fabulous in glitter.

Come up with a ringtone quickly or you're getting Clay Aiken!!

Samsmama said...

I can't talk about blowjobs without making an "o" with my mouth.

TaMala, I've never see it either.

What's the new perfume?

I'm still putting thought into your song.

You said "tater". Tee hee.

MtnMama said...

I loathe glitter with the heat of a thousand suns. That is why, apparently, my daughter's daycare used it in art projects CONSTANTLY - the kind that the parent is supposed to CHERISH and keep forever! (yeah, right. In the dumpster at work, baby!) I find it in the carpet of my car no matter how clean it is or how vigorously I vaccum.

I think we really need to have a little chat about the seeming age-delusion you are going through right now. Darlin, I am 15 years older than you (shhh) and I don't wear Mrs. Roper clothes. Therefore, neither should you. k?

I'd go with you to see Harry Potter in a NY second. Seriously - my daughter is too young for this one (although she has all the others on DVD).

Put the groovy new perfume in a pretty atomizer. That's what they're for, sugarplum!

Lastly, you don't look pale to me. I see two happy women who are cute and make me sooo anxious to get back to my girlfriend space back in CO. and ringtones? your husband's is perfect, and for you? I cannot recommend anything - but will look forward to hearing what you come up with!

Stacie's Madness said...

it really sounds you had a good time. too and then doing the hand motion, with tongue in cheek.

Bev said...

Elliot - how did you come to be such an expert on glitter, hmmmmm? ;-) And yes, you need to rewatch TBL. I think it requires a mandatory viewing at least once every six months!

Courtney - I know, right? Contacts suck. Someday I'll get Lasik when my eyes settle on a point of suckage and stop changing every year.

Kristen - Mrs. Robinson?? Moi? Nah... I am too old to be a cougar, and I usually go for OLDER men, not wee pups!

Mala - For shame! That's it, I'm bringing it to NYC. We'll watch it when we're stuck in traffic in Connecticut.

Oh, and if you give me Clay Aiken you'll wake up with a face-full of glitter on Saturday AM, and your ringtone will immediately be changed to "Ice, Ice Baby."

Samsmama - you know, it is kind of impossible to NOT make an "o" sound when saying the word "blow." Just sayin'. Also, see the movie.

The perfume is L.A.M.B., and yes, it's a celebrity perfume. Don't hate. I got a sampler of Sephora's best sellers (from the lovely Laurie) and this is the one I liked best of all 10 scents! Hey, and I like Gwen Steffani, so I'm going with it.

Looking forward to your song choice for me!! If you say "Baby Got Back" I'll come to Kansas and smack you. :) Then I'll hump your leg, b/c that's how I roll.

MtnMama - you crack me up!! Oh, and my shirt isn't all flowery and crazy like Mrs. R's, just has the general flowy shape thing and sleeves that reminded me of her. But Mala and the helpful sales girl told me it was fab, so I bought it. Meh, we'll see.

Stacie - you big perv!! Love it!

Steph said...

Mrs. Roper chic. I'm sorry. I read nothing beyond that. WHAT? Like the fact that I'm ADD is a surprise?!

Deb said...

Making my debut!!

Ringtone possibilities are endless!! How 'bout:
Le Freak (c'est chic!!)
Hot Stuff
Lady Marmalade

Hmmm...I'm sensing a theme here. When did my brain get stuck on the 70's? Must've been that Mrs. Roper!! I'm having flashbacks of muumuus and men wearing plaid pants with white belts and shoes. (shiver)

For something more recent, I vote for I'm Too Sexy.

Samsmama said...

I didn't say I make an o "sound". I make an O. With my mouth. Kudos to Stacie for having my back. And if you're going to hate on me, your song shall be "Cold as Ice."

Also, I googled that perfume. Fugly.

Bev said...

Steph - you kill me!

Deb -
OH MY HOLY HELL!! Praise the lord, my sister has finally broken her silence!


Yes, folks, after nearly a year of reading faithfully and calling me or emailing me with her comments, my big sister has finally left me a comment!!!


Color me HAPPY! This almost warrants a whole post, but I don't want to embarrass her and make her retreat like a frightened turtle.

And WHAT a first comment! Deebers, you rock at this. Please do it more often.

I love all of those song choices. Every. single. one. Mala? You pick. Any of those make my happy happy.

*sigh* Happy Bev. :)

Bev said...

Samsmama, who's hating? Not me! You know I have nothing but love for you! oxoxoxo

Samsmama said...

Woo-to the muthafawking-hoo! Your sister came out! Of the commenting closet, that is. Well done! You'd think she'd have done it on your birthday, but let's not get picky.

And can I tell you how much I LOVE that for her "more recent" she picked I'm too sexy?!?! Took a huge leap into the 90's with that one! You go, girl!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Going with the Maude theme, you could use "Kill the Wabbit" for your ringtone.

Stacie's Madness said...

Samsmama, isn't it the job of the ho to have the pimp's back?

I'm there for ya girl *makes blow job O and hand movements*

Bev, what about birthday sex ring tone...yeah. I want that one...

Elliott said...

Glitter - I have daughters who, in their youth, were obsessed with Build-a-Bear, which the mall conveniently placed directly past the Libby Lou, glitter central.

Certainly I wouldn't be covered in glitter by visiting (ahem) gentlemen's clubs (ahem) in my youth...

Samsmama said...

Stacie, you make a pimple proud!

Elliott, it's alright. This is a safe place. We don't judge. If you blow thousands a week at strip clubs on skanky dancers that rub their glittery boobs all over your face, that's your business. We accept you no matter what.


Deb said...

Time flies, doesn't it? What's a couple of years, or 15? Guess I'll go home and put on some Pearl Jam and watch some Beavis and Butthead. Maybe later I'll dial-up check out the chat rooms. Ugh!

Mala said...

DEB! Wow glad you finally joined the party!

Bev will have to make the final decision, but I think Super Freak belongs to our friend The Jillinator

Elliott said...

Would that I had the means to drop countless thousands at strip clubs every week, I'd be able to pay off my house (and buy more bacon).

Besides, my wife assures me that if we go to the strip clubs all the time, it won't be special anymore. Even though you can't spit without hitting a strip club here in Tampa.

calicobebop said...

Sounds like a perfect day! Minus the glitter in the eye...

Oh, and here in Hampton Roads they politely refer to rubbernecking as "onlooker delays."

What a crock of poop!

Harmony said...

LMAO @ Elliot regarding Glitter

I can't talking about reply to emails without air typing..I'll even catch myself make a joke about it, hold my hands and then get back to the story and find myself air typing's awful!

Ummm..I like Harry Potter. :)

How about this for a ringtone. Or this...or this. How about some Fergie, or some Missy. this?

I'll have to give the ringtone some thought.

Harmony said...

Hi..just clicking the follow up.

Samsmama said...

Harmony is just being a showoff with her linking now.

Stacie, Sam asked me what "birthday sex" was. I totally ignored him. Not ready to have that talk yet. Nor do I want to get into how birthdays are an obligatory thing.

Elliott, your bacon comment made ZERO sense to me. Then I checked out your blog. And now I'm in the loop.

Where the hell is Bev?

Samsmama said...

Oh, there's no stopping me now. Lookie lookie what Harmony taught me.

Bev said...

Oh my goodness! I go away for a measely 6 hours and come back to find the comments have exploded into bacon-laden glittery-strip club-linkage... resplendant with air-typing (stealing that expression, btw!) and ringtone suggestions!

I have some catching up to do! :)

You guys are all funny mofos, for rlz.

Frank Irwin said...

I use that Bowie ringtone for TotalBlammBlamm. I have yet to hear it play. :-(

word verf: suris - "Suris hot here this summer!"

Bev said...

Frank, you keep at it. Also, when did you get a cell phone?

Smama -that link was awesome!

Harmony - love that!! Did you know I love Zooey Deschanel? She has a pretty voice, huh?

iNDefatigable - HEE!

Deb - hahahahaha! Well, if you're gonna get stuck in a decade, I'd take the 90's over a lot of other ones. ;-)

Mala said...

UPDATE: While pondering the matter over a (few bottles) glass of wine, we finally came up with Bev's new ringtone.
Oh I can't wait for that socially ackward moment when my phone starts singin' this!

Elliott said...

Oh, HELL I'll be singing that for my entire drive home.