Friday, July 10, 2009

Week in Review

What have we learned this week? Let's review.

1. The desire to have "Rock Star Hair" is contagious. Mala texted me this AM begging for direction in that department, which I felt wholly unqualified to offer her. I mean, I'm no hair genius, I just have a good hairdresser I've been stalking following for several years now as she searches out the perfect salon. Yes, for real. I have followed her to 4 different salons over the past 5 years. I am exceedingly loyal. Or, I fear change. Whatever, I'm going with loyal.

So, I told Mala to go all J-Lo up in here. For real - she can pull off the JLo 'do. She's got a tan, and the same thick hair that can be either straight or curly (bitch), and I just think she can totally work the caramel highlights.

Right? So, it may not be Rock Star hair, but it's certainly Pop Star/Diva hair. She's going in on Monday; and yes, I've already started pressuring her to post "after" pics on her blog.

2. Courtney, PorkStar, Samsmama, and Stacie are incorrigible. Somehow this week I managed to earn the nickname "Muffin Sweat." Don't ask me how. I can assure you that my muffin is most certainly NOT sweaty! In fact, that is one of the main reasons that I studiously avoid exercise; who wants a sweaty muff? Not I.

3. Samsmama's "tater" smells like "freshly-baked apricot muffins".

4. My hilarious Facebook comments are not everybody's cup o' tea. Thankfully, approx. 185 other people still enjoy them, so I have decided not to change a thing. Huzzah!

5. I did not need a crown to get my toof fixed. YAY! My dentist drilled it and filled it and now I can go back to pretending that the Friendly-Fire Tackle of '09 never happened.

6. Sleeping is awesome, and I am hooked. Now that I've had a taste of what being "well-rested" feels like, I want it all the time. I'm addicted.

7. Sunshine on my shoulders really does make me happy.

8. I talk on the phone a lot more than I thought I did. I just had to upgrade my cell plan AGAIN. Now, instead of splitting 700 minutes/month with my (also chatty) husband, we need to split 1400. Wow. When did THAT happen?

That's all I got. I was aiming for 10, but apparently I didn't learn 10 things this week after all.

Btw, this is my 198th post, and my 1 year Blogaversary is right around the corner. I am hoping to do something fun for the Big 200, unless I get lazy, which is always a distinct possibility. I'll keep you posted.


Cary said...

A sweaty muff is nothing. Try sweaty balls. They sweat when you blink.

Mala said...

Thank you for the hair recommendation (and for not using the pix I texted you).

I would say you've had a fairly complete week. Don't want to learn too much at one time. Next week I hope to learn some rockin' new dance moves, that I've lost 10 pounds and the Ralph Fiennes has flown to NYC for the weekend. That's my goal at least.

Bev said...

:::frantically blinking::: Cary, is it working?!

Mala - Oh, that one is going in the vault. ;) Btw, I want all of those things as well, minus the Ralph Fiennes part. I have my own fantasy substitution for him, tho.

Oh, and new dance moves? Why? The robot is still cool, right? The wave? The Cabbage Patch? Gosh, I hope so.

Elliott said...

I live in Florida. If I'm outside, far too much of me is sweaty whether I blink or not. It is routine for me to strip down to boxers and dive in the pool after mowing just so I don't die of heat stroke.

I'm hoping for rockstar hair myself, but the wife keeps vetoing the Scott Ian beard and I just can't bring myself to go Billy Idol platinum. Though it would rock.

Stacie's Madness said... said sweaty muff.

Kate said...

Can I just say that Mala's hot?

Courtney said...

Can I just agree with Kate?

Bev - I don't know why you keep actin like you muff doesn't sweat. You crack me the fuck up.
I love you!!!

Ass Sweat

Courtney said...

oh and the :::frantically blinking::: cracks me the fuck up.

Mala said...

awwwwwww, Kate and Courtney, you're too kind. I was feeling a little like those nasty pictures they put in the magazines of the stars with make-up (right) and they're true haggity-naggity selves sans make-up (left).

LMAO and blinkin' with ya!
"Try Sweaty Balls" - No thanks, trying to quit.

And Bev.... can't you just wish for a Ralph Fiennes sighting...for me!

onebadmamajama said...

OMG Anyone ever see the SNL skit w/Alec Baldwin and his "Schweatty Balls"? LMGDAO!

Mala--you are gorgeous, dahling..just like your friend, Muffin Sweat LOL

I've learned some stuff this week but I'm not sure it worth blogging about:)

Bev said...

Elliott - I don't know how people deal with heat like that! I can't stand being overly warm! Don't get me started on humidity!

Also, you need to rock the platinum! Srsly. GO. FOR. IT!

Stacie - Indeed I did, Gassy girl.

Kate - Yes, yes you may! Any and all compliments are gratefully accepted here on my blog! My BFF is a hottie - it's true!

Courtney - Know this: I will never admit that muffin sweats or that I go #2. That's just how it is!

Mala - You know I always hope for a Ralph siting for you! And STFU with the "before" crap - you're gorg. :)

Rhonda - thanks, lady! And yes, I've heard of Shweddy Balls.

I want to hear about what you've learned this week! When in doubt, blog it out, beyotch!

Mala said...

Yo chatty Kathy, your comment tally has gone all wonky again. How the hump will I know if I'm in first place? Fix that shit.

BTW, Samsmama has really made a come from behind (oh man that sounds dirty) leap into 2nd place over at my place.... watch out Bev 50 or so more comments and she'll be catching up with you!

word verf: amshexp
Man, I amshexp! Headin' to bed. Night all.

PorkStar said...

Well Muffin sweat, you did earn the name for a reason... hahaha

Ass sweat and I hold you in high regard because you have one hell of an edible nickname... which we both love.. *ahem (TMI)

Besides, you are fourth in chain of command dear...

*Ball sweat out

Jillinator said...

heh heh... sweaty muff... heh
will you list that as a nickname now? Also-yahhhhooooooooo on not needing a crown! and loved the comment about sleeping... I just can't convince myself to do that, I'd like to, but when I should be sleeping in my fb and blog following time, and you're waaay to funny to give that up for sleep ;)

Bev said...

Mala - Yours is broken too, so there! Stoopid widgets.

PorkStar - Dude, 4th in the chain of command? Fourth?! Forgetaboudit.

Jill - thanks for keeping yourself sleep-deprived so that you can read my blog! Now that's friendship! :D

mo.stoneskin said...

1400? Crazy.

I remember the days of using up "free" (paid for) minutes but now its just wine and TV...

MtnMama said...

Late to the party, but I just had to say hi and tell you I think your suggestion for Mala's hair is spot on! She's fortunate enough to have a forehead and should take advantage of it.

Also, sleep is luscious, I am THRILLED for you that it didn't end up being a crown, and congrats on the upcoming Blogaversary!

Bev said...

Mo, wine and tv are two of my favorite things. No, really!

Mtn Mama - Welcome back! I missed you, you big campin' chick! oxoxo

Samsmama said...

How did I miss this party? WTF? Know what I've learned? I can no longer say "Later, Tater" to my kid without feeling dirty. And there's already enough sexual tension between him and I. No need to fuel the fire.

Off to leave at least 50 comments on Hot Mala's blog. (And when I typed that, in my head it sounded like "Hot Tamala". Which is now her new name.)

Mala said...

Ahhh see, I hang out at your place way more than I hang out at mine. I had no clue. Damn widgets!
MtnMama - you made me weep. My "5-finger forehead" has always shamed me.... you're my first compliment on what other regard as a nice space to show a movie. So thank you.

And Yay! I have a name!!!! SQUEEEEE!!!

Bev said...

Samsmama - Hot Tamala? BRILLZ.

Mala - you will never escape this nickname, so don't even try!

Harmony said...

*sigh* Late to the party.

Sleep can be and /or is highly addictive. You should not sleep while driving a car or operating heavy machinery. Sleep should only be initiated during a time frame when your being unconscious is acceptable to your own situation.

While sleep is recommended it can be detrimental if used in an excessive manner. Some side effects of sleep can be, but are not limited to:

Overwhelming feelings of being tired all.the.time.

You may experience the loss of want or drive to complete simple daily tasks.

Severe bead head syndrome (SBHS)

Please speak with a physician if you are noticing any of these side effects, as they could ultimately lead to anit-showeringism which would result in total loss of communication with friends and loved ones.

Yes sleep, it turns you from those that you love.

Bev said...

Harmony - BWAH!!!!! Well-done. I laughed, I cried... it was better than Les Miz!