Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Eat these. You'll like them.

AKA: A whole lotta random goin' on.

I'm off frolicking in the sun and surf today, but what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't leave you with a few piping-hot noggin nuggets to enjoy in my absence? Not a bevtastic blogger, that's for sure.

Nuggets are best served with a stiff drink. Bottoms up!
(Pervs... don't think I don't know what you're thinking, 'cuz I do.)

Nugget #1

The unthinkable has happened. My mother requested my friendship on Facebook yesterday. Oh, the horror! The shame! The guilt! I couldn't very well ignore her, could I? I couldn't pull the whole, "Oh, I never got a request. How strange!" line with the woman who gave me life, could I? Could I?!

No. No, I could not.



So I let her into my inner-sanctum. Now she will know that her 2nd born is a zany little perv who enjoys witty banter about extremely unlady-like subject matter. Sex, drugs, and rock n' rolllllll, mama! Aren't you glad you sent me to the good schools to get edumacated?

I have taken measures to ensure the safety of my blog, however. The day she discovers the OOBH is the day I pull up my stakes and relocate this circus tent, with all of you lovable freaks inside. I'll do it! Don't test me.

Nugget #2

The other day I was reading Dlisted and my kid came up and looked over my shoulder at the screen. He saw this picture, and this is the conversation that transpired as a result:


D: "What is that?"
Me: (laughing) "You mean who is that?"
D: (looking doubtful) "Um, ok. Who is that?"
Me: "That's Rosie O'Donnell. She's on TV."
D: "Ugh. Why?"




Good question, son, and keenly-observed. Yes, you may have a Popsicle now.

Bev's Noggin Nuggets, served fresh (semi-)daily. Bon appetit!
Sorry, no refunds.

22 comments:

Mala said...

What kind of blogger would head out for a fun day at the sun without leaving a tasty treat on the doorstep? Me! That's who!
See you in a few!

Samsmama said...

My dad started asking questions about Facebook the other day and I just pretended not to hear him and walked out of the room. Ain't happenin', Pops!

Rosie is SO sick. Blech.

Enjoy your day, bitches!

The Peach Tart said...

Luckily Mama doesn't have or know how to use a computer. She would have disowned me by now about my blog.

Frank Irwin said...

My Mom has webtv, that she only uses for e-mail. My nieces, on the other hand, are my FB Friends. I think that they may regret it, given some of the comments I leave on their Walls.

word verf: suckox

Organic Meatbag said...

Your son already sounds like my kind of guy...sharing Rosie hatred at such a young age is an obvious sign of intelligence!
And now that your Mom is on your Facebook page, I will be sure to post many inappropriate pictures on your wall...hehehehe...

Courtney said...

My sister and I are both dreading the day when our mother "friend requests" us on Facebook. I'm ignoring that shit until pigs fly. She can take one for the team.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

My family has found my blog. Once I finally get through this glut of things I've got back-logged, I'll attend to it.

Cary said...

Go mom! I'll have to be extra nasty on your FB now, Bevers.

Go D! He knows a beast when he sees one. I hope he doesn't start having Yeti nightmares.

My dad knows about my blog but has never asked me about it. Instead, he asked my sister, who told him, "You don't wanna go there, trust me."

Harmony said...

LMAO My Dad just added me three days ago. Before I accepted, I went and deleted the link to my blog. Then, my Mom and her husband was visiting recently when she had noticed my blog. After the left, I went through and put a couple of post in my draft box..YIKES!

Kate said...

Cary needs to do a post on the top ten celebrities who must die....NOW! Rosie would be way at the top.

You never know, your mom could get so disgusted, scared, disturbed, etc...that she decides to unfriend you. We'll all keep our fingers crossed!

Frank Irwin said...

Then you can start posting stuff here.

Kristen said...

My dad sent a friend request. I ignored it and told him why. Then my cousin from IL asked. Ignore. Ignore. Then my born again, die hard, christian aunt that I only see on holidays asked. Ignore. Ignore. Why did I click ignore twice? Because they kept asking me.
My brother accepted my dad on FB. What was bro's status? "My ex girlfriend is a fucking slut!" Did I mention my dad goes to church everyday? Umm...yeah.

onebadmamajama said...

Yeah, relatives and social networking sites don't mix! As a member of the blogger protection program, I know what I'm talking about LOL

Yummmmm...Bev nuggets!

Jillinator said...

hahaha! Ric keeps ignoring my mother. She's commented on it. I said he never checks that stuff, and, well, he might not feel so open if he knew his MIL was seeing it. oh well. His mother asked me and I said "it's mostly just young people doing silly stuff. If you prefer email you should stick with that". ugh.

Samsmama said...

LMFAO @ Kristen! That is hilarious!!!

Stuart said...

Swear to Bob I'll add something meaningless at some point.

Wait, I just did.

What I meant was meaninglesser.

Honestishly.

Bev said...

OMG, you are all so funny! I love you all, and that's not just this Mimosa talkin.

J/K, I haven't started drinking (yet). Don't have time to respond individual to all of you witty and intelligent peeps, but I'll give you all a big hug and hope you still like me even though I'm slacking off today.

(((((hug)))))))

Samsmama said...

We don't get individual responses? That's bullshit.

*storms off*

;)

Ah, my word verf is FUlake. Guess that's where you and Mala spent the day yesterday, huh?

Kate said...

Well, Samsmama stomped off in a huff....maybe she's stomping over to my blog to leave a comment on the post** I did two weeks ago that no one responded to. Wahhh!!! (See what I did there? With the whole guilt trip thing? You would think I am an old Jewish mother dealing with her grown son. Ha, ha!)


**It was a pretty boring post. I probably wouldn't have commented either!

I love Stuart's creation of new words. I might start using meaninglesser in my everyday speech.

calicobebop said...

My mom is trying to guilt me into letting her see my blog. I ignore it with a smile. There is no fucking way she is going to read me say "fuck" a bajillion times. Hellz no.

You got ballz, sistah. Big ones!

Heidi Renée said...

My mom has read my blog since 2002, when I was 19, on study abroad, and allowing strange European men to buy me alcohol and do inappropriate things to me on dance floors. The only difference between then and now is that now only my husband can do that stuff. She only recently joined Facebook, along with my middle school-aged cousins. Between Facebook (coworkers and family), Blogger (my parents and random interwebs people), and Twitter (family and coworkers), I have to constantly check myself. I'm even friends with one of my bosses on Facebook, but that happened before he was a boss.

Sometimes I want to quit the internet, but not really. I have too many friends here.

Cary said...

I ignored my wife when she tried to friend me on my blog FB.

Is that so wrong?