I don't go one day without using Google in some form.
I admit, I'm terrible about actually looking at the data collected by this little widget. I forget for months at a time, but when I do it's always fun to see who came from where, if they were referred or have a direct link, and of course, what they might have searched for that brought them here to my little corner of the internet.
Side note: Once upon a time, there was a smart and funny blogger whose very name can no longer be uttered in our circles. She Who Must Not Be Named, let's call her Straightforward Mama, had to abandon her hilarious and popular blog, and she is sorely, sorely missed. Since she can't do her Google Analytics posts any longer, this one is for her.
Straightforward Mama, we love you! Your memory lives on.*
Anyway. Here's what crazy shite brought people to the OOBH recently:
do your boobs hang low
I get a ridiculous number of hits on this post every. single. day.
Other variations: Saggy boobs, boobs hang low, low boobies, saggy boobs floating in water, saggy funbags, saggy funbags sex
1000 words for boobs
Jeez, I DO talk about boobs a lot, huh? OOPSIE.
it's like i want to throw him out into traffic
the naked nymphomaniac
man babies, you're welcome
Got 'em, and yes, you are welcome.
adolescent girls in bikinis
"rib tips" vacation clip
One of my favorite 2 second lines from Vacation, and one nobody ever gets.
beach chairs for boobs
Your boobs need a whole separate chair? Daaaaamn!
"nyc" places to pick up milfs
big tit milf
And while we're on the subject of MILFs, I also got these:
milf and fuck and manhattan
milf pick up places in nyc
milfs glasses big tits
milfs take it all
mothers love giants cocks
my milf bev
old fay milfs giving head
can women put their boobs over their heads and tie them into a bow??
clone a cock
I'd love to.
giant cock picture
What about it?
fat retired guy big glasses no tie shoes pictures
Wow, that's specific.
i'm going to be 30 and i have no career
Join the club, brotha. NTTAWWT.
i'm like put my hand in your boobs
Frank, is that you?
And my personal favorite:
pictures of men putting their heads into womens boobs
*EDITED TO ADD*
Straightforward Mama LIVES! Or so someone called Anonymous (if that is her real name) said in the comment section. Anon was kind enough to share the following list from her old site. I think you'll see why I was inspired to carry on in her honor. ENJOY!
since you mentioned me, (kinda... and because i still have some old search terms saved in a text file that is easily accessible) here are some for your reader's reading pleasure - you know, for old time's sake:
the not-so dirty--
fuck marriage baby
what do you do when you hate the in-laws
lactating mother how to manage in office
how do you draw a eaten sandwich
shitty mother in law
fuced by in-laws (india)
mommy fuck bound
the sun fuck the mooms
fuck moms very well
daddy suck my breast milk
lactating fuck milk
YAY. We love her, don't we? :) Ok, back to the original blatherings by yours truly....
You all know I am having a torrid love affair with Google images, right? I just love throwing in whatever bizarre thought has popped into my head and seeing what crazy crap Google throws back at me. Here are three of the best ones I have found this week (so far). These are the first images that appear in the search, not necessarily the best ones.
Search Term: "Birdy Num Num"
This is a line from a Peter Sellers movie called The Party. I dig it, but I don't know what made me think of it the other day. At all.
I don't know WTF this hand-puppet/Oobie-looking shit is, but rest assured that Peter Sellers was indeed the SECOND picture that came up. Thank goodness.
Search Term: "Giant Hole."
Heh heh. Indeeeeeeeed.
Search Term: "I hate that cat."
Because yes, I do hate that cat. All of our beloved pets have gone to the big dog park/litter box in the sky, except for this bedraggled half-wild furbag. He bites. He's incredibly stupid. He wakes us up all night long, wanting to either come in or go out. He poops outside of the litter box - right outside it! And now... the last straw... he peed on my dining room carpet out of spite and spite alone! He is clearly the devil.
I have no idea how one goes about getting rid of an unwanted 14 year old bastard cat, but I'm thisclose to putting cat nip under my rear tire and letting nature (and automatic transmission) take its course.
(J/K, don't call PETA on me. I could never hurt an animal. I think.)
In other news, my blog doesn't even come up when you search for Ass Bruise anymore, which is probably a good thing, but I can't help but feel a teensy bit empty inside. Sigh... it was fun while it lasted.
So there you have it: fun with Google.