Monday, August 31, 2009

If I were any more relaxed, I'd be comatose


I hope you all had a lovely weekend. Mine was good; I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I hoped it could be.

Saturday was a rainy day, which suited us just fine. We made some eggs and watched cartoons, and I'm not exaggerating when I say that I didn't get out of my pajamas until after noon. When I did change my clothes, it was just to put on fresh pjs after my shower, so I still wasn't exactly setting the world on fire.

What can I say? I needed to decompress! Last week was not terrible for me, but it ended with a bit of a whimper. Friday was just one of those days - I managed to say the wrong thing, say the right thing the wrong way, and generally say entirely too much to just about everyone - and I felt a little kicked around by the time I got home. There's really only one thing to do when life gets to you and you're feeling like that kitten hanging from a tree limb, and that's hide out until you feel better. So I did.

On Sunday I was a little bit more energetic, but not much. I took the boys out to run errands. They both desperately needed haircuts. M was starting to go back into Peter Tork territory with his perfectly round shaggy bowl cut, and D had an honest-to-god rat tail forming at the base of his neck. As you know, we CANNOT HAVE THAT, so it was off to StuporCuts.

M was not thrilled, but he did eventually stop wriggling enough for the girl to cut his hair. When I showed this picture to Jim, he nailed the expression on M's face: "Smell-the-fart acting!" He said, and he was right.

He looks like a totally different kid now! I can't decide if he looks older or younger after the Bowl-ectomy.

And that, kids, is all I've got. For those of you who always comment on how fabulous it must be to be La Bev, what with my concert-going, my girls' nights, and my binge drinking cocktail sipping soirees... remember that most of my weekends are more like this one. In other words, I'm boring too, I just hide it well.

One last thing before I go. If you're not watching Nurse Jackie on Showtime, you should be. This show is wickedly funny and has these fantastic, terrifically-flawed but somehow still likable characters. It's just all kinds of awesome - funny, sad, shocking, eye-opening. For anyone who wonders if doctors and nurses actually do fall victim to addictions, here's a little story for you before I stick a fork in this crappy post and call it done.

My friend K is an RN. She moved to Phoenix, AZ several years ago and got a job at a hospital there. On her second day on the job, she walked into the staff bathroom and found another nurse on the floor of one of the stalls. She ran to help her and found that the nurse had been shooting up heroin in the bathroom at work, and had OD'ed. My friend had to attempt CPR on this young nurse who had just DIED while injecting drugs at work. She didn't live, and K got a very unexpected and unpleasant welcome to her new town.

Oddly enough, she still lives there. Go figure.

So yeah, it happens. Nurse Jackie just makes crazy-wrong subject matter like addiction, secrets, and infidelity kind of funny and touching; and that, folks, is good television.


Mala said...

What the...???? Who kicked you around on Friday?! WHO!? Why I'll give them a swift introduction to my size 8 1/2 boot! You know I will!!!! Bastards!

Anyway, good for you on your mellow Saturday. Likewise, I didn't bother to don anything more than a raggy pair of sweats. It was just one of those days.

Organic Meatbag said...

Hey, I got my haircut on Sunday and Superfarts as well! Yeah, why the hell not, it's not like I have a lustrous head of hair to style...hahaha!

MtnMama said...

Before we moved and I lost my access to Showtime, I thought that show looked good. Ah well, I'll rent the season when it comes out.

We call days like that "Lazy Days" - and M loves them! I'm hoping she continues to.

At your son's age, cutting the hair shorter reveals more of their "baby face" profile, and you suddenly see how young they are. But the cut itself is older. Such a cutie pie.

(HA! Word verif = power
First time an actual real word. go figure!)

Kate said...

No, no, no!!!!!!! I refuse to watch ANOTHER show. You have already gotten me hooked on True Blood with all of the terrible accents and horrendous acting, but I love it and can't help myself!

You're awesome. Fuck anyone who doesn't agree.

word verf: cirlybac--brings of a lovely mental image of overweight men in hair shirts. Yuck.

Courtney said...

Ha sounds like my weekends.... I love hanging out in PJ's all weekend...

I so need to watch that show....

Anonymous said...

ooh, i love nurse jackie! i wondered if there was anyone else out there who watched it. it's a FABULOUS show! we watch nurse jackie and hung. i am trying NOT to get into true blood, but the vampires are calling... will let you know if and when i become immortal. ;)

Bev said...

Mala - thanks, my friend, but it was I who was kicking myself around on Friday. Just open mouth, insert foot type crap. You know how it goes!

OM - Superfarts, ha! Somehow I think you and my kid probably got the same super cut. ;)

MtnMama - Def. check it out. You'll love it. Yeah, I was afraid that the cut would make him look older! That's what happened with my oldest at the same age, but M still looks like my baby so we cool.

Kate - LMAO! I know, I know. I apologize for hooking you on the TB crack. I know it's bad, but I DIG IT! You will LOVE Nurse Jackie, trust me. It's so "our" sense of humor (I say OUR meaning everyone here at the OOBH!)

Courtney - Yes, minus the whiskey! I don't know how you handle that stuff. You are a tough chick!

Anonymama - I love Hung, too. IN fact, I was torn over which one to mention here, but decided on Jackie because it has been consistently awesome. Hung took a while for me to get into. They've been upping the ante with the sex scenes lately, though, so I'm IN!

PS) Last night's episode with the oral scene was pretty hot, right? Ooooh, baby. I'd pay extra.

Elliott said...

I cut my own hair, it's easier that way. I try not to do it when I'm drunk (though it doesn't look that way), but somehow I manage to do it RIGHT after Lori's cleaned the bathroom. I don't get a weekend of lying about in the jams until our rainy season ends, if I don't mow the lawn weekly it gets a foot tall.

Stacie's Madness said...

sounds like my kind of show...

your weekend sound perfect and I'm still jealous of the Bev-life. ;)

onebadmamajama said...

The DirectTV bastards ran a free preview of the very first show of Nurse Jackie. It was awesome! Of course, I don't subscribe to Showtime so I don't get to seen any of the other episodes!

I can totally relate to having a shitty week last week. The good news is, I think this one is shaping up to be even shittier! I wasn't even sure that was possible LOL

Here's to hoping your week goes much better!

New England Girl said...

I have wanted to catch Nurse Jackie for so so long and now I am going to have to make a point of it! I'm looking forward to it even more after your recap! But, uh, a little disturbed about your friend's story. What a horrible first day!
Also, loved the weekend... I basically did the same thing! I stayed in my pjs and acted like a total bum and loved every.single.minute. :)

Samsmama said...

Sorry about your foot in mouth disease. Hope it's clearing up.

I love lounging around in pjs. You put on clean ones after your shower? You've got more energy than me.

Sam got a haircut Friday. I told him to ask my dad to take him after preschool. My dad...such a sucker. Saved me $20.

Your friend K is a trooper. I'd have high tailed it out of there.

And we don't have Showtime. We only currently have HBO because of that damn True Blood show. I mean, because of that wonderful vampire series.

Cary said...

Any post that starts with an Office Space quote and works in references to both The Monkees and flatulence is a win in my book.

I might be hitting Fydollar Cutz myself soon. Been going to the fancy sah-lawn but we've had some budget cuts around here. No matter -- my hair does the same bugly bullshit no matter who cuts it.

We just got three months of Showtime for free to "see if we like it," and so far I do. I haven't seen Nurse Jackie, but they do have a nice selection of late-night flicks with words like Bikini and Bodies in the title. For my money it just doesn't get any better than that.

Word verf = querep. How you are regarded among the gays.

Brooklyn ML said...

I love laying around in pjs all weekend. Too bad I never seem able to accomplish that height of laziness lately.

Bev said...

Elliott - thank you for the image of you drunkenly cutting your own hair in a spotless bathroom. I giggled over that for at least 20 minutes last night, but then again... I am easily amused!

Stacie - awwww, you're sweet! I'm jealous of your perfect bum, Buffett girl. ;-)

OBMJ - I hope your week gets nothin' but better! Rent Nurse Jackie when it comes out on video... you won't be disappointed!

NE Girl - I hope you like it as much as I do. Glad you got a good relaxing weekend in, too!!

Samsmama - yes, it's a shame that my foot-in-mouth disease is recurring, however. Just when I think I've recovered - BAM! It's baaa-aaack.

Good move getting your dad to pay for the haircut. You are wicked smaaahhht!

Cary - You crack me up! Fydolla cuts? Why bother? Get a Flowby and call it a day. Oh, and take pics, won't you? :)

Mae - being lazy is an art form, and I am a true artiste!

Ms. Case said...

I have had many weekends where I never change out of my robe, I don't shower and I lay in bed for 90% of the day. I'm not depressed I assure you. There are simply times where I am perfectly fine not doing a damn thing for 2 days!