Monday, August 17, 2009

My weekend, by any other name...

would still have been boring. I've had a case of the Lazies lately. Well, a worse case than usual, since I'm never exactly a ball o' fire when it comes to, ya know, doing stuff.

On Friday night we had my visiting ILs over to the house for dinner. I found an even BETTER deal on lobsters than we got last week - $3.99/lb! - so we had surf & turf and all the fixin's. I made waaaaay too much. After dinner, we even got the parental units to play Rock Band with us, which was pretty hilarious. They didn't know any of the songs but they gave it the ol' college try, and before too long MIL was warbling along to "Carry on my Wayward Son" and FIL was banging his gong, er, beating his skins... um, playing the drums.

Apparently my BILs and their now-wives had been telling tales out of school about what a rock star I am, but I wasn't feeling particularly crazy (read: drunk) so I kept things tasteful for them. They don't get to see "That Bev." I got my Bowie on, and I wowed them with a stirring rendition of Weezer's "Buddy Holly," but I decided not to go all Boston, Who, or even Bon Jovi on them. Breakin' them in easy, don'tcha know.

On Saturday, we sat around the house for quite a while. Jim finally motivated and took the little dude over to the lake, and eventually Danny and I followed them over for a swim. It was hotter than a titch's wit in a brass bra (what?), but the water was delightful and we just can't keep the boys out of it. Jim and I even took a canoe ride for the first time in years. Actually, the last time I was in our canoe was right before I got pregnant with Danny; it was a long weekend camping/canoeing trip that we took with some friends down a river up in Maine. We used to go every year, but then we got old and had kids. Pbbbbbbtthhht.

It was lovely in the canoe. Jim did most of the work, and I just lay back, dangled a hand in the water, and admired the view. Very relaxing, depsite my husband's repeated requests for me to flash him some boobage. Men. (FWIW, you know I did)

Saturday night we just stayed home and had pizza, then watched The Wrestler after the kids went to bed. Well, I watched it; J was exhausted from paddling my butt around the lake all day, so he slept through it. I liked it a lot, even though it was quite sad. I especially loved the scenes of them on the boardwalk and inside the abandoned Convention Center in Asbury Park, NJ, which is where my favorite Grandmother lived for years. My sister and I would go visit her in the summer, and those are some of my fondest childhood memories. The gorgeous ocean, the mini golf, the merry-go-round (my dad was tall enough to catch the brass ring for a free ride), the giant lollipop I'd get even though it cut my tongue up... GOOD EFFING TIMES!

On Sunday we were even lazier, and just stayed home. It was over 100 degrees out, which in my book makes it too hot to move. So we didn't.

Later on, we took the kids out (in their pjs) for ice cream, picked up some dinner, and came home in time to watch a damn fine episode of True Blood. HELLO - Eric and Sookie hookin-up! Yeah, baby. It's about time... you know I'm Team Eric, all the way.

Funny story - in the car on the ride home, the kids were a little sugared-up and a lot noisy. D started doing something that ordinarilly would make me absolutely insane with annoyance, but I was all mellow and full of 'scream so I went with it. D started yelling, pretty loudly, just like this:


Then M joined in.

Jim and I were looking at each other, and it was just so crazy and loud that I realized I couldn't beat them (but I wanted to), so I joined them.


Then Jim joined in.


Until we were all laughing. If I didn't laugh, I'd kill them, because I'm an amazing mother.

The End.


Frank Irwin said...

Hmmmm...Maybe it's different, way up there in NH, but my MA friend used (probably still does) say COLDER than a witch's tit, and HOTTER than a hog's ass on wallowing day.


Good post, especially the bit about the ride home from the I Scream store.

Bev said...

Oh Franky, don't argue Semantics with me! I meant to do that...

Heh, yeah right. Ok, but in my defense - brass gets HOT in the summer, right? Eh, never mind. Too lazy to change it. Ya got me, brah.

Organic Meatbag said...

Awesome sounding weekend, Bev! Cheers for the boob flashing...hehehehe...
And yeah, kick-ass episode of True Blood, but what's the deal with Eric smiling so much the last couple of weeks? It's so goofy, it makes him look like Jim Carrey...hahahaha...

Frank Irwin said...

Well, hell, Bev, if someone needs to check the temps of witch's tits, either in the summer or winter, I'm your man!

Cary said...

Glad to hear I'm not the only one who asks for boob flashes on the lake... or in the car... or on the beach... or in church... or anywhere, really. Boobage is always welcome.

Courtney said...

Sounds like an awesome weekend... would have been better for everyone if you flashed a tit... but whatever.

Elliott said...

Love it. Of course, the canoe and conception story made me think you got preggo IN the canoe on that trip. One of my British acquaintances compares sex in a canoe to American beer...both are f^@king close to water.

I'm horribly jealous of the lobster, too.

New England Girl said...

Haha... Too funny! Despite a "lazy" weekend, it sounds like you guys had a fun time! I am desperately craving a meal of surf & turf right now.. Yum. And don't you HATE this heat?! Another reason I am sinfully wishing the summer away. I simply can't deal with this humidity. I don't know how I dealt with it when I lived in North Carolina last year. :)

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Hmmm...and all I get when I request boob flashes is the eyeroll. Not even an "if you're good, maybe later". Just eyeroll.

Perhaps I need to find a canoe, take her out in the middle of the lake...and then punch holes in the body so that it sinks.

Bev said...

Frank - got it, you're my go-to boob-feeler.

OM - TOTALLY! Smiling Eric? Whaaa? Whatever, I still think he's dreamy. :)

Cary - Of course you do.

Courtney - Oh, I totally flashed him. And not just my boob, either. ZIIIING!

Elliott - HA!! I love that. If this canoe's a rockin'....

mjenks - I hope you're talking about the body of the canoe.... Ha ha... (looking around nervously) ha.

MtnMama said...

Okay, you did NOT have to tell me the price of lobster - for you - went DOWN! grrr

I was happy to hear that I'm not the only one who flashes boob on request. just sayin.

Once I'm finished with this class, I have some catching up to do on contemporary film & lit. I've been wallowing in prior centuries long enough!

Frank Irwin said...

MtnMama wrote: I was happy to hear that I'm not the only one who flashes boob on request. just sayin.


Now you tell me?????

JennyMac said...

Love that cat just sipping away on his hops. And the bit with the screaming kids in the car made me CRACK up. We have been known to join in with our 2 year old under certain circumstances...which was meant to deter and only made him take pure delight like he is some tiny puppetmaster. LOL.

Kristen said...

That sounds like a perfect weekend! Except for the part where the boys were playing with the water in the witches brass bra...? I always thought it was "colder then a witches tit" not that it makes any sense either.

Stacie's Madness said...

sounds like a great weekend, honestly...


Samsmama said...

Usually I'm pretty good at figuring out your acronyms, but you lost me with "Pbbbbbbtthhht." Oh, wait. I get it now.

What is it with men and boobs? Every time I tried to leave the room last night my husband said, "show me some titty." I also obliged.

Man, I'm craving lobster!

onebadmamajama said...

Sounds like a perfectly wonderful weekend! FWIW, I think all hard work in life should be done by men who want nothing more than to be flashed a little boobage:) How much sweeter could life be than that?

Mary said...

I'm so jealous of your lobster bargains? Yummy!
And my kids used to- wait, still do make obnoxious noises...all the damn time. And you're right: its either laugh along or toss them from a moving vehicle.