Thursday, September 24, 2009

Why the frak did I know that?

Do you ever blurt out an answer to some ridiculous trivia question and then find yourself wondering when your brain became cluttered with so much worthless knowledge? I do.

Just now someone in my office made a comment about dancing at a big Irish wedding he'd attended last weekend, and I made a sarcastic humorous comment about how he must have looked like the Lord of the Dance. He stared at me blankly because I work with a bunch of boring asswads who don't get my jokes (ever!), and I said, "You know, Michael Flatley? The Lord of the Dance?" I held my arms over my head and chair-danced a little Irish jig for effect.

Still nothin'.

Now, I've never once SEEN Riverdance with my own eyes, and I certainly couldn't pick Michael Flatley out of a famous Irishman line-up*, yet I know his name and what he's famous for, and can even mimic his famous dancing style on cue. What the damn? What ELSE is in this noggin that I have no business knowing?

* For the record, my Famous Irishman line-up would look something like this:

(edited for El Frankerino)

To sum up, my brain is filled with worthless crap, I'm in a bad mood today, people are very disappointing creatures, and I need a hug & a big glass of wine. Stick a fork in me, I'm done. (OW! I didn't mean literally!)


Elliott said...

Michael Flatley? His feet flail about as if independent from his body!

There's nothing wrong with knowing more than your cow-workers. It just means you're superior to them in yet another way.

Frank Irwin said...

Not a Colon Farrell fan, are you?

(I may have accidentally mispelled his last name.)

Bev said...

Elliott - Awwww, thank you! I love that you wrote "cow-workers." If it was a typo, I wish it wasn't, because it ROCKS.

Frank - LMAO! Oh golly, you crack me up. Thanks for the smile!

Oh, and I thought of adding ColOn, but was too lazy to edit the post. Maybe I will now, because the way it's lined up looks funny and I am nothing if not a lover of symmetry.

Elliott said...

On purpose, of course. Per Urban Dictionary:

cow-worker (n) As a co-worker, but of such a mentality and personality as to be almost entirely indistinguishable from a smartly-dressed cow. The differences between a cow-worker and a cow should, however, be obvious on closer examination. One is a large, mindless animal that grazes off scraps of food matter, travels in herds, and is primarily of value only because it can be eventually disposed of for the betterment of a large group of people. The other gives us milk.

wv: poritort - what a cow-worker gives when you've proven your surperior knowledge.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I have two witnesses that I got last night's Final Jeopardy before the question was even asked.

Granted, my witnesses are 8 and 5, but they're still witnesses.

Stacie's Madness said...

how can ANYONE NOT know the lord of the dance...for real?

*does jig with ya*

MtnMama said...

There's always the Belfast Cowboy, Van Morrison! just saying.

anyhoo, I don't doubt for a nanosecond that you're smarter than your doornob coworkers. I feel your pain.

There's all kinds of random bits floating around in our grey matter. Comes of being aware of our surroundings - in the big picture kind o' way, don't ya know.

Bev said...

Elliott - Ah, the Urban Dictionary! So helpful. Thanks for droppin' some knowledge on me!

mjenks - Hey, they sound credible enough for me. Now, did you know the answer just by seeing the catagory, or are you some kind of super psychic genius?

Stacie - RIGHT?! Thank you!

MtnMama - thank you! I'm definitely smarter about some things, just not numbers and annuities and all that boring crap that dominates their mundane existences.

And yes, I choose to believe that I have all this random stuff in the "grey matter" because I'm really paying attention... yeah, that's right. Love it!

Mary said...

I too have a wealth of useless knowledge! yay! we'll form a club, you're my new best friend, call me every 5 minutes...
and kudos to Elliott for that obscure 'Friends" quote that he pulled out of his ass...bravo!

Cary said...

People are stupid. And when they don't get my pop culture references, I think a little bit less of them. The other day at work I compared something to Three Mile Island and was met with blank, clueless stares.

Bev, I don't have a fork handy to stick in you. How about a beef thermometer instead?

Mala said...

The universe has gone all wonky. I was just referencing Michael Flatley last week. ACK! Is it a sign? The world is surely coming to a frantically tapping, sweaty end!

C'mon over, I'm gonna throw some ink blots on some index cards. Let's see what else you got going on up there.

Oh, and you describing the River Dance... where the hell was the camera!

The Peach Tart said...

First off here's a hug and I'm drinking a glass of wine because well hell, it is 5:23 and would love to share one with you if you lived in Atlanta.

All I have to say being the good Irish girl that I am, they sure know how to grow some hot men in Ireland. Not Michael Flatley though. There must have been some cross-country breeding there.

onebadmamajama said...

Oh, my noggin is just brimming with all kinds of useless information. That's why I kick ass in Trivial Pursuit LOL And, who DOESN'T know about Riverdance and Michael Flatley? Do these cow-workers live under a rock or sumpin'? Geez!

And, thanks, Elliott for opening my eyes to cow-workers! I think it will be my new word of the day:)

onebadmamajama said...

Just coming back to follow, since I wasn't logged in properly.

Bev said...

Mary - Awesome! Said in my best Milhouse voice, "'Cuz I've been lookin' for someone to... boss me around!"

Cary - Please don't think less of me if I don't get who Hedy Lemar is, ok? I mean, yeah I know the name, but... she is no Henny Youngman.

Oh, and is that a meat thermometer or are ya just glad to see me? (don't answer that)

Mala - Yes, we'll call it the Michael Flatley Effect (MFE) and it will signify the end of days!

TPT - thank you! Believe me, I'd like to be in Atlanta right now, too. I could use a good glass of wine!

Irish men are kind of hot, yes, but I'm a sucker for the Scots!

OBMJ - We would make a killer trivia team!! Let's do this thang. I call Team Leader!

Kristen said...

Hugs for you...and I think I'll have some wine with you. If you want more then just a hug...might I suggest giving me more then just one lousy glass of wine. That's usually how it works :)

Stuart said...

Bev - that's Hedley.

outdoor wedding venues said...

He is lord of dance. I know him very well. I am not big fan but i like him.

Heidi Renée said...

Were your cow-workers not present in the 90s? Do they not watch PBS (pledge now and we'll send you a vial of Michael Flatley's chest sweat!)?

Jillinator said...

totally guilty of reading & not responding lately. I totally know the same stuff about lord of the dance (almost wrote lotd but realized that might be confusing - not sure if Cary dances in his leotard in front of people or if that's just in private) I can't believe with all the commercials some years back there is a person who DOESN'T know the MF (Michael Flatley... not the Mother Fucker.. hmmm... more potential confusion)

Mala said...

WHOA! Back the truck up!
Did Outdoor wedding venue just coyly confess to us that s/he has had booty calls with Michael Flatley, who she feels is lord of "dance", but not much of a fan of his real dancing... What?

And Heidi, *gag* vile of chest sweat. LMAO!

Anonymous said...

me no rikey michael fratrey.

bev, i do the same shit in just about every social situation. it makes us better than everyone else. seriously.

and cary, OMG i have made Three Mile Island references countless times and...crickets. dumbfucks.

New England Girl said...

Ahh... Michael Flately... I saw his Lord of the Dance get up quite a few years back. Impressive, but he sort of scares me! I have to say, though, that I loved your lineup of irishmen. :) I especially like the last one in the list. Yum. :)

Kate said...

The cleverness and hilarity that comes from all of these prior comments leaves me feeling a bit out of my league. So for now I will just say "poop."