Thursday, October 1, 2009

Boobs: A love story

You all know I love boobs, my own in particular. I don't know why I'm such a tit-fanatic, I really don't. Maybe it's because I wasn't breastfed? Maybe because I was already a D cup in 9th grade? Maybe because I'm just a natural-born perv, as evidenced every time I open my mouth or start typing on the ol' blogaroonie? Who knows. Fact is, I don't even care, I just like 'em and think it's important to feel 'em at any opportunity.

Stacie reminded us today that next week is National FEEL YOUR BOOBIES week, so I am going to wax poetic about ta-tas and urge my lady friends to feel themselves up today in the name of science and good health. Guys, you can help, just get permission first, ok?

After reading Stacie's blog I ran right over to Boobicon to make my own graphic for the OOBH. Would you believe that I had a terrible time finding a picture of myself with sufficient cleavage?! I know! I was shocked. I thought I had zillions of photos of my stunning rack! I think I'll take a look at home and see if I can find a better one later, but this'll do for now.

Last week Cary posted the "feel your boobs" PSA with that Canadian bimbo VJ, and some people didn't like it. Pppfffftt. If it raises awareness of a worthy cause, who cares? The girl's got nice bazoombas and it certainly gets your attention, so STFU.

Incidentally, every time I see this spot all I notice is that one of her boobs is slightly bigger than the other. I can totally relate; one of mine is just a touch more voluptuous than the other, too. It's kind of irritating because that's the one that always pops out of the top of my bra a little bit when I bend over or am, ya know, moving. Yet another reason to be sedentary, right? Just keepin' it real.

Anywho, boobs are wonderful things, and I love mine. In fact, I'm thankful for them, so technically this post is Thankful Thursday material. In all seriousness, cancer is nothing to joke around about. This might be the only case in which being a boob-loving perv could save your life, so get groping, ok?

Feeling your boobies is awesome. I'm doing it right now!


Anonymous said...


my boobs aren't nearly as great as my ass. can i feel my ass instead?


Samsmama said...

"Slightly" bigger? Dear gawd! Her right one appears to be a completely different cup size!

Your Boobicon came out so much better than mine! I had such a hard time getting the colors right. The majority of the time I either looked like I didn't have a nose or like the Phantom of the Opera.

Mala said...

That's fine Bev, just don't touch the rash!

Cary said...

98% of women have one breast that is slightly larger than the other (or smaller, if you're a pessimist). I read that in this hilarious new book coming out in April called 1,001 Facts To Scare The Sh*t Out Of You. I got an early copy.

D cup in 9th grade? Bless your heart. At least you were popular.

I kid around a lot and make pervy remarks about boobs, but all kidding aside, I must say this, Bev: nice jubblies! You could open a butcher shop with all that prime sweater meat!

Harmony said...

Oh can always get a little ass action after your boobie grabbing. Spread the love all over..I say.

I agree boobs are awesome. Respect the boob, respect it!

Word Ver: debripad; sanitary napkin?

Harmony said...

Stalker button!

Samsmama said...

"Prime sweater meat." Not the slightest bit pervy.

MtnMama said...

Ya know, after breastfeeding my baby for 28 months, I have a deeper and more heartfelt respect for my boobies than I ever did before. Truly.

And mine are only a demi-C, but they aren't hangin' down to my knees yet, so there is that!

I didn't think that PSA was offensive, and I'm one of the most committed feminists I know. I think sometimes people get their priorities screwed up. (I totally thought the guys in the hotpants couldn't give a rat's ass about tits, though!)

Kate said...

I've been thinking about boobies all day. Isaac's favorite cartoon is "Max and Ruby" (ugh...don't get me started on all that is wrong with this show.) He calls it "Sax and Booby." Cracks me up every time!

I am going to skip the tit-feeling for right now. If I were to squeeze too hard I might shoot milk across the room. All together now..."EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

Kate said...

And Cary's totally pervy comments are awesome.

Stuart said...

Tonight I stopped by Safeway to pick up a few things and the checkout lady asked if I wanted to donate to Breast Cancer research. I said yes, as I am indeed of fan of the breastseses. She asked how much I wanted to donate, so I said 2 bucks. One for each.

Made sense to me.

Kristen said...

I guess I'll go feel myself up...*sigh*...again.

Frank Irwin said...

LOL @ jubblies.

Outdoor Wedding Ventures is #5 on the Comment Parade!

Jillinator said...

Thanks for the reminder (like I needed one) to check out my boobies. I totally laughed at the PSA... you can sure tell those bad boys were real from the movement. As far as one bigger than the other... I think I'm almost a 1/2 size apart on mine (don't go noticing now) and if I'm PMS-ing it's probably a full size - ugh! If I ever get them put back to their original positions I'm totally going to have them even them out too!

Organic Meatbag said...

Like I said, Bev: National fuckin' treasures...take care of them...they will be in the Smithsonian one day...

The Peach Tart said...

I love your Boobicon

Cary said...

Smama - I lied. Thanks, Kate.

Bev said...

Anon - HA! Sure, why not. Asses need squeezing too. Just don't neglect the ta-tas.

Samsmama - I know! I was amazed that no one mentioned the difference in size on Cary's thread, but then again, they were probably too busy drooling and wildly masturbating to comment.

LMAO @ your Phantom of the Opera boobicon!!!!

Mala - thanks. I've managed to stop touching myself for a few days, and the rash is mostly gone. HURRAY!

Cary - Thanks for that little factoid! I feel better about Rightie now, not that I was too concerned over her over-achieving ways before.

Your comment CRACKED ME UP, but I'm sure you're used to hearing that. ;) Thanks for the laugh.

Harmony - LOVE "Respect the boob, respect it!" Love it. Spoken like a mom who watches a lot of Nickelodeon, like I do.

Smama - you say "pervy" like it's a bad thing!

MtnMama - Right on! I breastfed both of my kids too, and my kids were enormous. I was so glad to be finished nursing my youngest son, though. I was a wee bit top-heavy when I was nursing. Like F cup top-heavy. Oy.

Bev said...

Kate - "Sax & Boobie!" Hilarious! Srsly, what is UP with that cartoon? Where are their parents? I'm calling social services, for rlz.

Oh, and I'm down with the milk-squirtage. I could take someone's eye out from 20 paces in my hay-day.

Stuart - you are an humanitarian and a scholar, my good man! Well-done!

Kristen - hey, enjoy. If you can't squeeze your own boobs, whose can you squeeze?

Frank - Uh, yeah. About that -- if you could all leave me a few more comments so we fix that little problem, that'd be greeeeeeat (said in my best Lumburgh voice). Get to it! Chop, chop.

Jill - well, I've never noticed your lopsided ta-tas either, so apparently we've gone unnoticed all this time! WOOT! Enjoy groping yourself. Maybe Ric will help. It's for a good cause, after all.

OM - HA!! Thanks,buddy. The Smithsonian - awfully lofty aspirition, that. I'd be happy with Ripley's Museum.

TPT - thanks! Have you made yours yet?

Elliott said...

Is very nice icon, thank you.

(Wait, I must be chanelling OWV...)

And you can tell the people up in arms about all the growth hormones we put in food were never adolescent boys, because there's surely a scientific reason breasts have been getting larger over the last few generations.

Not complaining. DEFINITELY not complaining.

And in 6th grade there was a girl who was probably a C-cup already. Couple with that her given name was unpronounceable (sp?) and her self-given nickname was Muffin, it's a shock she wasn't more popular.

Touch them, feel them, love them! Now is the time my Sprockets when we fondle!

Yeesh. I think I need to go back home.

Bev said...

Elliott - yeah, sure, blame growth hormones. All I know is that I'm the only woman in my family with boobs this big. Everyone else is solidly in the B/C category. I'm the freak.

Muffin, heh!

Btw, I may have been popular, but I was never slutty, so there. People loved me for my sparkling wit and friendly personality; my gorgeous tits were just an added bonus. What? I'm serious.

Love the Sprockets ref!

Mr. Condescending said...

I gotta stop reading posts like these!

Heidi Renée said...

My left one is totally bigger. So annoying. I'm suprised Victoria's Secret hasn't tied to take advantage of the lopsided boob market yet.