Monday, October 5, 2009

My week is off to a strange start

Insomnia happens to all of us from time to time. For me, those times come very rarely because I live in a constant state of borderline exhaustion and have done so since my first son was born six years ago. I stay up too late, you see, and my kids get me up too early. Such is life, and I cherish those few hours of post-bedtime "me" time in the evening too much to change my ways.

So tonight - today, really - I found myself awake at 2:15 AM for no good reason except that two days of sleeping in and taking naps have apparently rendered me caught up on my sleep. I wasn't worrying, which is usually the reason I'll wake up during the night. I was just... up. Strangely enough M started in with a low, half-awake cry around 2:30 and J and I waited him out for a minute or two until he went back to sleep. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I fumbled with my contacts and went downstairs. Notice I didn't say I put on my glasses? Yeah, M stole/hid/magically disappeared my glasses a week or so ago. Can't find them anywhere. It's not very convenient, to put it mildly.

Our water softener was performing its regular nightly (?) maintenance down in the basement, so when I stepped into my darkened hallway it sounded like there was some kind of beast breathing heavily and loudly somewhere in my house. That got the old heart rate up until I got the light on and recognized the sound.

My brother-in-law is visiting, and he never sleeps well. I had no sooner gotten a glass of water and made myself comfortable on the couch when I heard footsteps upstairs in the vicinity of the guest room. I rolled my eyes and clicked on the TV, then turned around to say hi to him as he appeared at the bottom of the stairs in his underwear. He had clearly thought it was Jim who was up, so he covered his groin with his hands and said, "Oh, it's you." Then we grinned lamely at each other and he retreated back up the stairs.

I turned back around to see that the cable channel had been left on HBO, so there was a dude with a huge pink dildo on the screen talking about getting something wet! AAAACK!!! It was some kind of Adult Video Awards show or some crap - the kind of stuff Skinemax and the others play at 3 AM, ya know?

Crap on a stick. My brother-in-law now thinks I was watching p*rn by myself at 3 AM. Greeeeeeeat.

NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

But does he really think I can't go one night while he's visiting without sneaking downstairs to get my p*rno on? Sigh.

Anywhoooooo. At this point it's too late to go back to sleep for an hour before M is up for the day, so I'm enjoying a little quiet solo time before getting another week started. I'm dreading work today; I skipped out a little early on Friday and I'm not sure if my boss will have noticed or not. He's known for calling me at 3:52 on a Friday afternoon just to say hi/check to see if I'm still there.



I've been more miserable than usual at work lately. Winter's coming and I always start to feel like I want to move things to where they're gonna sit all winter long, and that goes for my livelihood as well as my lawnmower. I'll finish out the year, but I really need to find something a little more challenging for 2010. It's just hard to give up the easy, flexible gig even though I honestly hate the work.

I've been slacking off these past few days. Gotta be sharp and efficient this week. Gotta shower my family with affection. Gotta prep for a fun kid-free anniversary weekend next weekend! And I definitely need to cut out the naps and exercise more because being lazy is messing with my REM cycles.

Here's to a great week, everyone!

31 comments:

The Peach Tart said...

Have a great week.

Jillinator said...

I live in that state of exhaustion too... same reasons... up too late, falling asleep on the couch because I refuse to go to bed before 11PM even though my monsters are up by six. At least I don't get caught amost watching p*rn ;)

Evette took the DVD remote and put it on the shelf in her room. I was very relieved when I could now actually watch a movie (hard to get through all the menues by clicking the two buttons on the player) so I can relate about the little ones wandering off and squirreling away our items. Hope you find the glasses SOON!`

Organic Meatbag said...

I can so relate to hating my work... hate is not strong enough a description...it has sucked the very soul from my body, replaced it with Folger's crystals and then started brewing me with boiling hot urine... so yeah, right there with you...

Mala said...

GOOD GAWD! Bever's that is a ungawdly time to be upright! You totally owe yourself a little power nap under the desk. I won't tell.

And I laughed my ass off at your bro-in-law catching you enjoying some early morning pron! But hey, he was in his whitey-tighties, so I'd say you're even.

BTW did you see the full moon last night? I'm blaming everything on that.

Mala said...

and OM should really write greeting cards!

Elliott said...

The question really is, CAN you go an entire night without getting the pr0n on?

I'm a regular insomniac. However, I try not to get up in the middle of the night since it freaks Lori out if I'm suddenly gone. Except for the nights she's kicked me to the guest room for snoring too loud. Plus, if I get up, the dog gets up, it's anarchy.

And yes, stress is a big factor, I wake up and the brain is in overdrive, and I can't shut it down.

Elliott said...

And I even clicked the stalker button the first time, so this comment is just here to irritate Mala.

'cause that's how I roll.

Harmony said...

I had to laugh out loud at the imagery of your BIL being caught in his unders and while the pron awards were playing. It reminds me of Audra's bridal shower (or baby shower..it's one of them) her mother came out to help set up and decided to watch some tv. At the time we had some free pron going on..so as soon as she turned on the tv it was you know...happening. YIKES! Although she let it slide..can't waste the free. Ya know?

Mary said...

Hope your sleep gets back on track and your job either gets miraculously better or you find a new one...
sorry about porn and your BIL's undies :)

MtnMama said...

Trust Bev to have me laughing first thing on a Monday morning! I have had wonky sleep cycles for so long now that I forget what normal should be like.
I don't have channels that would supply me with quite that kind of experience, but I feel ya. At least it was your BIL and not one of your kids... maybe.

The soul crushing job thing is a toughie. Good luck with that.

Courtney said...

Hope you have a good week.

Bev said...

TPT - thanks! You too.

Jill - Thanks to you, too. All parents understand the "operating on low battery power" way of life, I think.

OM - Mmmm, the best part of waking up, is Folger's steeped in urine in my cup?

Mala - Oh yeah, it's gotta be the moon. You know how full moons make me crazy (ier)! And I cannot confirm or deny that S was wearing tighty whiteys - I was careful to maintain eye contact throughout the entire exchange.

Elliott - so what, you just lie there and stare at the ceiling? EEEK. I'd rather wake the dog, the wife, and the whole neighborhood!

Oh, and please feel free to irritate Mala anytime. ;) She secretly digs it.

Harmony - HAHAHAHA!! That's hilarious! Love it. Poor Audra. Now, about this free porn... where do I sign up for that?!

Mary - thanks!! I'm going to attempt to hit the sack (heh heh) early tonight. We'll see....

MtnMama - Yay! Glad I made you laugh. Yes, I'm glad it wasn't one of the kids. I think.

Courtney - thanks! You too.

Frank Irwin said...

So, either BIL envies J because he has a super-h*rny wife, or pities (more likely ridicules) him because he can't satisfy her.

Organic Meatbag said...

Hehehe, Mala, you may have just turned me on (that's what she said!) to my new career...greeting card writer...I'll do the illustrations and everything!

Bev said...

Frank, yes to the former. I plead the 5th on the latter.

OM - No fair! I want a career direction too. Mala, get on that.

New England Girl said...

Ugh. Insomnia sucks. I basically had it all throughout college and it is the worst thing ever. I guess it does allow one to be productive, but I was cranky as all heck. :) I hope your week doesn't follow this weird pattern... although that may provide some hilarious stories for us. I laughed out loud about the brother-in-law/porn incident. Too funny!

JennyMac said...

I hope you have a blissful sleep tonight..no BIL..no undies...no porn.

And good luck with the job...hope something great is in store in the respect.

Samsmama said...

Geez, such an elaborate story you made up. The lengths you'll go to in an attempt to mask your late night porn addiction...wow.

onebadmamajama said...

Sucky job, check!
Stress induced insomnia, check!

Here's to hoping the week gets better!

BTW..Harmony, how did you get free pron?!

raskal said...

"enjoying a little quiet solo time..."

srsly, Bev, your constant readers KNOW you're a perv. you could just skip the euphamisms. ;)

Hope this week is better.

Bev said...

NE Girl - Ugh, insomnia for long periods of time? Kill me. I've always been a HUUUUUUUUUGE fan of sleeping!!

JennyMac - what a nice comment! Thank you so much.

Smama - Busted. I secretly sneak downstairs to watch p*rn in the wee hours every night. That's why I'm REALLY constantly overtired. Ya got me!

OBMJ - YES! We both need new jobs. Or we need to drink more so we sleep the sleep of hobos. Either way.

Lisa - HA! Yes, yes. "quiet solo time" really does mean time to sneak off and rub one out. Busted again!

laurieliz said...

Sorry, babe, totally can't relate on this one. Love my work and am total satisfied with what I do, have the easiest, most delightful child, and regularly am up at 3 AM watching porn and don't care who knows about it....Don't hate be because I'm beautiful ;-)

Cary said...

I've seen that awards show, and it's a good watch whether you are horny or not. The award for Best Four-Input* Scene was a real nail-biter.



(* With stoma)

Cary said...

Oh, and my job sucks, too. I work for such an asshole. That's the downside of self-employment.

Bev said...

Laurie - sorry, all I heard was, "blah blah blah, I SUCK!" ;)


Stoma?! Jeebus, Cary, that's disgusting! EW!

And yes, I had to google "stoma." SICK!

Sorry your boss is such an asshole. Maybe you should try sleeping with him? It's unorthodox, but it might help. At the very least, maybe a handjob would make him more agreeable.

Cary said...

hey, an orifice is an orifice, right?

Mr. Condescending said...

Let's go grab some boobs!

Bev said...

Cary - that's what she said.

Mr. C - see above.

Kate said...

Oh puh-leez, anyone who reads your blog regularly does not for one minute believe that you just "happened upon" the late night pron. We all know you had your alarm set so that you wouldn't miss that particular show. You ain't foolin' no one lady!

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Frank Irwin said...

Have a great Wednesday night!