Thursday, October 15, 2009

That's not the only thing in his closet

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

Maybe some of you are familiar with the talent-free-but-beautiful phenomenon known as Shakira, she of the synthesized vocal tracks and freakily-flexible spine. Recently the pocket-sized Columbian made a completely idiotic music video for her song, "She Wolf," in which she gyrates and writhes around in a metal cage for almost 4 minutes while wearing a flesh-colored body suit. I know, I know, I had you at Shakira writhing in a unitard, right? Well, it gets better - some college kid redid it move-for-move and put it up on YouTube. Yeah, you're welcome.

The original is here, if you must.

Hilarity, the floor is yours!



Work it, brotha!

What else is new? Let's do a listy-poo, shall we?

1. The weather report is calling for the first Nor'Easter of the season tonight/tomorrow, which is early. I usually count on snow by Halloween. I am SO not ready for winter; I haven't arranged to have my show tires put on yet. Those buggers are expensive. *sigh*

2. Adding to the money hemorrhage at casa de Bev: our hot water heater conked out last night, so the plumber is coming today to install a new one. Fan-friggin-tastic, I say.

3. 30 Rock returns tonight! YAY! Love that show, and not just because I want to shrink Liz Lemon/Tina Fey down and put her in my pocket so she can make me laugh whenever I want. Ok, it's mostly for that reason, but also because I can't get enough of Jack Donaughey/Alec Baldwin.

4. Modern Family is the best new show on television this season. Please watch it -- I'm sick of having all of my favorite shows get Arrested Development-ed. It's on Wednesday nights at 9 on ABC - set those DVRs! You will laugh, I promise.

5. Hey look, it's a talking dog.



The end is my favorite part, when Mischa's all, "HOOOOOOOOOWL, now leave me alone, bitches!"

By the way, this dog looks exactly like one my college roommate had, and that Husky was a real pain in the arse. One time the dog ate a tampon & my friend had to pull it out of her butt while on a walk through the campus green. True story.

ANYWHO. Hope you all have a pleasant and drama-free Thursday!

22 comments:

Stacie's Madness said...

that dude totally tucked it.

Organic Meatbag said...

Stacie's right...tucking is soooooo....can I say it? Faggy!

Samsmama said...

Faggy? Well it's certainly not straighty! Good gawd!

Alright, it's not a "hot water heater". It's a "water heater", which makes the water hot. When it's working properly, that is. Sorry, dad owned a plumbing company.

I am SO excited for 30 Rock and can't wait to watch Modern Family on the DVR!!! Can't watch it right now...blerg!

I have no clue where, but I saw that talking dog video the other day. And you're right, the end is the best. That tampon story? Could have gone my whole life without knowing that one! "Great story."

Bev said...

Stacie - I think Shakira tucks it as well, but I can't back that up with proof. Just a theory.

OM - I think this kid is pretty comfy with his sexuality, whatever that may be. Doesn't matter - Mischa the dog still loves him no matter what side his bread is buttered on!

Smama - Well, la-dee-daaaa! Here I thought you were the quintessential Farmer's Daughter all this time! Btw, my dad owned a furntiture store, so if you ever want to talk about sofas or mattresses, I'm your gal. ;)

Enjoy the shows! Sorry about the 'pon story, but I can't see a Husky without thinking about it. Fuckin' dog.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Please tell me he ate a clean tampon...

Stacie's Madness said...

bev...roflmao. I don't doubt Shakira's tucking.

Samsmama said...

Farming? No! The glamorous world of plumbing! I got blamed for flushing a tampon years before I ever even used one...pissed me right the fuck off. See how we came full circle? And I forgot to mention that I choked when I read "talent-free"! No shit!!!

Bev said...

Mjenks - Um, sure, it wasn't used.... Whatever gets ya through the night!

MtnMama said...

I enjoyed He-Wolf... especially those little kinda smiling straight gaze at the camera. You can tell how fun this was for him. I adore my gay friends; they are always showing me another side to things (*grin*).

I've had big dogs all my life (except now *sniff*) and I know exactly what state that 'pon was in when it got consumed. Been there...

oh, and my dad was a high school biology teacher, so if anyone needs an anatomy lesson... ;)

Tabitha@ichoosebliss said...

Hi There! Thank you for visiting me yesterday to celebrate my SITS Day! U are deeply appreciated!

Mala said...

Yes, if you ever want to talk matresses, Bev's your girl!!!! (I keed, I keed)

Hey, I finally duct taped my computer back together enough to watch the Colin Farrel vid....oh my! Ack! I have something caught in my teeth....

New England Girl said...

Hah! That college guy's video is HILARIOUS! Exactly what I wanted to see to brighten up this gloomy day. And ugh, snow, really? I saw that on the forecast this morning... we're said to be receiving 1-2 inches, but I'll only believe it when I see it. I'm going to be super upset if there is snow this weekend, as we're headed out for some late-night pre-Halloween activities and I get cold, quick!

calicobebop said...

Holy cow! You were all over the place on this one! Ending with a tampon being pulled out of a dog's butt? Priceless! Love the videos!

onebadmamajama said...

That doggy tampon story is hysterical! Reminds me of the time one of my kids (I won't say which one, to protect the innocent ha!) ate some green, plastic Easter grass! That was a pleasant diaper changing experience!

Sorry to hear about the water heater! Cold showers suck!

Cary said...

You'd think a tampon-eating dog would shit cotton balls.

I have never seen a Shakira vid before today. I don't get out much.

Cary said...

WTF is SITS Day? I sits every day.

Elliott said...

SITS? All I can think is that we had joy, we had fun, we had a really bad white-guy fro.

And hot water? My, aren't we all hifalutin! I bet you have one of them indoor toilets that flushes, too!

Bev said...

LMAO! You guys are killin' me!

MtnMama - Hey, I was wondering what bone is connected to the horn bone....

Tabitha - You're welcome!

Mala - It's about time you saw the vid! And I was wondering who would make the mattress joke... should have known it would be you!!

NE Girl - Thing warm thoughts! NO SNOW!

Calico - welcome back! I missed ya. Yeah, I was all over the map today. Whooopsie!

OBMJ - Easter grass diaper!! F'ing hysterical!! That's way worse than a cat throwing up tinsle!

Cary - SITS on this. Oh wait, that's what HE said.

Elliott - Haaa! Yes, I am indeed hifalutin'. I'm about to go take a dip in my CEE-ment pond, too!

Kris said...

I remember my late cat Hobbes eating Christmas ribbon and then needing help extracting the danglers from his butt later on. Didn't really make me want him to sit on my lap that time of year. I always wondered if he could shit it just so I could pull the ends and make a bow...

Mary said...

skipping reading all the comments so I can jump on the 30 Rock and AD bandwagon...
Jack D is so damn funny I wish he lived in my house with me :) And as for Arrested? sigh- my heart just breaks to think about it.
I'll begin watching Modern Family ASAP.

Bev said...

Kris - OMG! I just laughed so hard at the image of a cat with a bow hanging out of his bum! Thanks!

Mary - Modern Family is very AD-like. I hope you like it as much as I do! So far, it makes me LOL every time I watch it.

Oh, and how psyched are we that there is an AD movie in the works? Pretty psyched, right?

Anonymous said...

haven't gotten around to watching the Sha-he-ra video and don't think i will. not after reading all the comments. hoofah.

lmao @ hot water heater, putting tina fey in your pocket and "hey look, it's a talking dog."

i pull grass out of my dog's ass every so often. if i see him crouching in the "crab position" (as i call it) for a prolonged amount of time, i know he's been eating grass and needs some help. a tampon, however? gross. and i'm sure it was bloody. you know, to add to the disgusting mental picture that all of your readers already have.

ooh ooh, and modern family is fucking hilarious!