Monday, November 23, 2009

Ding dong, you messed with the wrong chick!

Happy Monday, folks! Did you all have a nice weekend? I did! On Saturday I gathered my fellow immature Twilight-loving friends and we saw New Moon. It was great! Of course, before the movie we had dinner and many, many Cosmos, so I'm pretty sure any movie we saw would have been great in that frame of mind, but whatever. I loved it and can't wait to see it again when I can remember it all.

I'll throw up a couple of photos, but that's really not what this post is about, so I'll make it quick:

Oh, and we had so much fun cruising in Laurie's Mini Cooper with the top down (in November - love this warm weather!) that we all felt like teenagers again. Good times....

Okay, moving on. I have to share an inspirational work story on this Monday morning when many of us are working and perhaps subsequently hatin' life. I think it's safe to say that we've all worked with a certifiable bitch before, right? I mean, there are so many bitchy & mean people in the world, you're just bound to run into one at some point in your career. In my case, I work with lots of 'em - both male and female - but you all know that Nasty Bitch Nancy gets under my skin more than most. She's the coffee Nazi who acts like I cut off a body part if I allow the creamer to run low? The one who leaves me passive-aggressive notes about mysterious rodent-related odors? Yeah, her.

Anyway, this post isn't about her, it's about someone my good friend Dorothy* encountered recently.

Dorothy works for a medium-sized company and is pretty high up the chain of command, just under the VP-level. She works hard and keeps her head down, doesn't cause trouble, and is well-liked by everyone and well-respected by her superiors. Recently Dorothy had a run-in with Evilene, a woman who worked in a lateral position and who had a reputation of being difficult and vulgar at work. Evilene had worked there for 12+ years and therefore felt entitled to curse openly and berate people on a daily basis. Several VP's had been told not to deal with Evilene anymore, but to go through Dorothy instead. People feared Evilene's wrath and avoided her, yet her job was safe for some odd reason. It was as if no one could touch her, and with every day her unchecked vindictiveness grew until the very air around her seemed to glow with aggression and rage.

One day last week, Evilene made a mistake at work that directly affected Dorothy. Dorothy, ever the dutiful worker, approached her on a quiet day in the office when many people were out at a meeting. When our friend Dot showed Evilene the email from last August that backed her up and incriminated Evilene, Evilene told her she didn't care about "her fucking email" and then called her a "fucking backstabber." Dorothy, ever the composed and intelligent worker, quietly retreated to the bathroom to wash her face and try to get her blood pressure back down to a normal level.

Later, she sent an email to Evilene's boss and HR, telling them what had happened. When they asked Evilene about it, Evilene denied it ever happened and since the office was nearly-empty and those people who were close to the scene work directly for Evilene, no one came forward to back up poor Dorothy. Several people, however, admitted that Evilene had it out for Dorothy and had been heard loudly calling her vulgar obscenities that very day.

Alas, with no proof and no witnesses, it seemed that Dorothy would just become yet another casualty of Evilene's cruelty.

BUT WAIT, there's more!

The following Monday morning, a day just like this one, Dorothy went to work to find that HR and the boss had decided that Evilene had gone too far at last. Apparently, Dorothy's stellar record of not being a horrible gossiping lying hag was all the proof that they needed; it was the last straw for that camel's back. The company decided that Dorothy was too important to be treated in such a manner, so they did the unthinkable - they fired Evilene! She was gone, gone, gone by the time Dorothy took off her coat on Monday morning! Sometimes nice guys DO finish first!

Throughout the day that day, Dorothy saw several people who had worked under Evilene who looked like they'd been crying. She felt badly that she had essentially caused the termination of someone so beloved; Dorothy is not one to cause turmoil, after all. Yet later that day one of them approached her with something like reverence in her eyes, and Dorothy asked her if she was okay.

Turns out, the munchkins were not weeping tears of sorrow; they were rejoicing because Dorothy had killed The Wicked Witch!

Ding dong, the witch is dead! They immediately started planning a parade in her honor and have assured Dorothy that the ruby slippers are forthcoming. She is a working class hero, and all is well in the Land of Oz once more.

A day later, the brakes on Dorothy's car suddenly went out, but we're sure that was just a coincidence.

So, you see? Good things can happen at work. Sometimes karma gets it right.

* Names changed to protect the livelihood of the innocent.


Elliott said...

Yep, everyone has one of 'those' people at work some time in their life. And sometimes, every now and then, karma's a bitch.

Always love the drunken photos, too.

In fact, I found something quite interesting on this very post, perhaps you would like to exchange blog links and it would be mutually beneficial...

What, too soon?

Organic Meatbag said...

You and your friends = hotness...hehehehe

mo.stoneskin said...

Good to hear that the munchkins were rejoicing at The Witch's death. They are walking the path of righteousness I see.

Mala said...

Fabulous pictures Bevers! Hoot!

I love when all the stars align and all is right in the universe.

Bev said...

Elliott - YOU. SLAY. ME! Yes, a link exchange sounds delightful. Thank you.

OM - Tell me something I don't know, yo. HA! J/K, thanks very much.

Mo - I do so love a happy ending! (that's what he said!)

Mala - it happens so rarely, so yeah... I like it too! ;)

Heather said...

Do you think Dot would let me borrow those ruby red shoes for my date tomorrow night? Never hurts to ask.

Monday's are my favorite day of the week because they always mean money the next day.

WV brophan. is that like bromance only like brother fan? Thought so.

calicobebop said...

Hellz YES! So glad to hear that one of these workplace nightmares finally got their just desserts!

Oh, and terribly terribly jealous of your Twilight experience. I'm just going to have to wait a week or two... {sigh}

Stuart said...

No effing way. The work story is something that totally rhymes with "ducking possum". If I weren't alone right now, I'd be high-fiving everyone around me like on of those douchebags in that video.

You and your friends take great drunk pictures, by the way. One can smell the fun. And the tequila.


wv - tacilles: what you and your friends should be wearing for the next round of pictures

MtnMama said...

Love the pictures with your friends! For a night out like that I'd even suffer through a crapfest like New Moon. What?

I LOVE that Dorothy was victorious! That is SO seldom the outcome. And I've worked with more than my share of evil coworkers. I don't know why I've always been such a freak magnet; I think the universe likes to test me.

Cary said...

Ah, Lady Karma. She moves slowly sometimes but always gets her man (or woman) in the end.


Oh hey wait.. sniff sniff.. I think I smell something dead in the lobby. Sniff.. eww.. oh wait... ha... never mind, it's just a dead former employee.

onebadmamajama said...

Man, how I love a good story where the bitch gets her comeuppance! I'm very happy for Dorothy and the Munchkins:)!

I'm glad to hear you guys had such a good time! I've heard some mixed reviews about New Moon and nothing but raves for how smokin' hot Taylor Lautner is! I feel a little pervy just admitting that since he's like what, 12? LOL

Stacie's Madness said...

i loved new moon too!

Carol said...

Loved the photos and story too.
What I really would love is a cosmo. Just got a cravin'. I too work with a lot of self-serving twits. I'm hoping karma helps me out someday too.

Samsmama said...

The brakes on her car went out? I'm sorry, but I laughed a bit too hard at that.

Although I found this a wonderful story, I must tell you that I'm a smidge upset. I thought FOR SURE you would be posting about the Video Music Awards today. In fact, while wondering aloud Lady (?) Gaga's gender, the fact that Reba is still alive, why Michael Jackson won a damn thing, and trying to figure out who the hell that young country band was, I said to my husband, "I'm sure Bev will blog about this tomorrow." Damn. Now I owe him a BJ.

Frank Irwin said...

Bev, your breasts are stupendous.

Kristen said...

So are we supposed to be Dorothy or Evilane? You really should be more specific. I wouldn't want to stop being a bitch to people if I didn't have to.

Yay Munchkinland.

Cosmetic Makeover said...

It kind of sounds like you have commitment issues, you want to stop things before it gets to serious so you fill your head with "she'll let herself go", "she won't be as perfect as she is now" when it's really just a reflection of you.

Samsmama said...


Bev said...

Heather - welcome! I'm sure Dot would let you borrow them, but she has very wide feet. ;)

Calico - if only you lived closer! I'm sure we could cram one more lovely lady in the back of the Mini!

Stuart - HA! Tacilles, indeed. We were wearing them, but under our Twilight shirts. I can't show you those pictures....

Mtn Mama - Me to!! I'm also a freak magnet at work. Something about me makes people want to talk my ears off. Highly annoying.

Cary - That can't be my lobby - I always hide my dead coworker bodies in the dumpster.

OBMJ - Yeah, it's definitely creepy to oogle Taylor Lautner, but I'm ok with my creepiness in this case. Hubba hubba!

Stacie - yay!

Carol - self-serving twits is a nice way to say it! Here's hoping they get their turn under Dorothy's house soon, too.

Samsmama - HA!!! Aw, too bad. Tell D. I will accept flowers as payment. ;) No, I actually flaked out and missed the AMAs! I know, I know... bad pop culture junky. I was busy watching Dexter, what can I say? I'll have to YouTube Lady Gaga's performance later today.

Frank - thank you.

Kristen - We all take away something different from that story, clearly. ;)

Cosmetic - Um, thanks Dr. Freud. By the way, you can go now. buh-bye.

Samsmama - exactly. WTF? Why do spambots love me?!?!?!

Kate said...

I bet she goes home and reevaluates her life and goes on to live a kinder, gentler life. What?? It could happen.

You guys in your Twilight shirts remind me of wearing my Harry Potter shirt to the midnight sale of the 6th book. I was *cough, cough* a chaperone for a preteen. Yeah, that's it, a chaperone.

Mala said...

hehe OWV - sweet irony!!!!

Bev said...

Kate! Haha. yeah, I'm sure this will really change her life for the better.... NOT.

I also love HP. You know, for the kids. ;)

Mala - OWV is getting deleted from here on out. The bastard.

Jillinator said...

Hooray that Evilene's employer saw the light!

Oh, and I had a total blast with you gals at the drinking, oops, I mean movies ;)