Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Embarrassing Fan Girl Blatherings

Since you all know that have no shame when it comes to pop culture, I'm going to talk about two things today that I love despite the fact that my gushing makes me feel deeply ashamed down to the bottom of my boogedy-boogedy shoes. On one hand, I'm embarrassed about loving Twilight and a certain cheesy pop chanteuse, but on the other hand, I like what I like so I really don't give a fuck. It's a delicate conundrum, but life can be complicated sometimes and who am I to argue with what floats my (little man in a) boat?

Heh heh.

Anywho, New Moon opens this weekend, and like everyone else who devoured the Twilight series in a matter of hours a couple of years ago, I'm excited to see it.

I'm gathering the same girl posse who saw the original cheesetastic flick with me last Fall, and we're going to the same Mexican restaurant beforehand. It's a tradition, you see, as is having two gargantuan margaritas bigger than my head before heading next door to the theatre. No WONDER we liked the movie, huh? They're buzzzzzzz-worthy.

Now, New Moon was my least-favorite book in the four-book Twilight series, largely because there was just not enough hunky Edward to make it worth my while. The whole flirtation with Jacob did nothing but piss me off, to be perfectly honest. Also, I don't care how much that actor boy works out, he still looks 12 years old to me. PASS.

Yet will I mind sitting through a 2 hour movie in which he gets semi-nude a lot while transforming into a wolf? Naaaaah, I can grin and bear it. I'm strong like that.

Ok, moving on. Lady Gaga has a new song and video out and I'm borderline obsessed with them both. I know some people think she's just a freaky attention-seeker but I honestly think she is an artist. Sure, she makes pop music, but she writes her own shit, doesn't lip synq, and her crazy outfits and videos are by-God performance art in my eyes. I have said it before and I'll say it again -- I love theatre, I love spectacle, I love to be wowed and I love to say, "What the frickin-frack did I just see?"

So of course I love the Gaga. How could I not? She's the real deal. Also, it's got a good beat and I can dance to it, Casey.

Here's her weird-as-funk video for Bad Romance. Behold, my favorite crazy bitch:

Here's one I just came across on Dlisted today. It's Beyonce & Gaga wearing lots of crazy wigs and stuff. LIKE. I so want a Bettie Page wig now. What?

So that's that. I know you're judging me, but I don't care. I judge people when they use bad grammar, listen to Nickelback, or tuck sweaters into jeans, so I get it. We all have our "things."


Cary said...

Guilty pleasures make the world go 'round. Or gravity does. I get them confused.

I like Styx and those police chase video shows, so I can't judge anyone on anything.

MtnMama said...

No, I see it. And you know what I think about her? Genius. Because the way she's playing it, someday years from now, she could be walking down a country road around her fabulous property in jeans and a fleece, with her big lovely dog, and no one would have a clue.

Elliott said...

I actually feel bad for pointing this out, but the 'It has a good beat and I can dance to it, I'd give it a 9' is from American Bandstand and Dick Clark, not Casey Kasem.

So obviously I didn't feel that bad...but at least I'm not judging.

And Cary, what's wrong with Styx?

calicobebop said...

Did you read my post where I fessed up to loving the new Tokio Hotel (absurd boy band) song? Since I am in a glass house - I would never throw a stone.


I'm in the same boat. *sigh*

Stuart said...

As a person whose all ways tucking there Nickelback sweater into they're jeans, I would've nothing to say about this.

Besides, I'ma go buy Star Trek on DVD today, so yeah.

wv - chabru: the beer enjoyed by British white trash

Elliott said...

Oh, and I wanted to say that I'm all for performance art, I've been about that since I first saw this as an impressionable 13-year-old:


And as has been pointed out before, my HTML skills suck, so you'll just have to cut and paste.

Kate said...

I am most definitely NOT going to go see New Moon in the theatre. I am an adult and would never get involved in such a juvenile series.

(I am however going to wait until I can get it on Netflix and watch it when no one else is in the house and obssess over Edward.....and wait for the other two movies to come out....and still fume over the ridiculousness of their child's name.)

Mala said...

Mmmmmmm guilty pleasures......

.... I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

OK, I'm totally digging the new 'Ga song. I feel it man.
And I don't even care that she has to dress in ridiculous outfits just to draw attention away from the fact that she's fug.

Brooklyn ML said...

Surprisingly, both videos worked on my p.o.s. computer.
I've actually been listening to Gaga a lot lately, she kind of rocks my world.
Oh yeah, and I am Team Jacob all the way. Edward is nice but kind of a tool.
Guilty pleasures? Bring it.

Bev said...

Cary - Gravity is over-rated, but guilty pleasures... well, those I can get on board with.

Also, Styx. Awesome.

MtnMama - is this your way of letting us know that you were secretly a pop star in the 80's?

Elliott - D'OH! You are totally right, and I am humbled and embarrassed! I loved Dick Clark. In fact, the year he returned to the Rockin' New Years Eve show after his massive stroke I got super drunk and spent the whole night wailing, "Dick! You're baaaaaack. Dick Clark! Poor Dick Clark! He looks terrible!

So I really should have known better. Luckily I have you around to point out my short-comings. :) Thanks, dude.

Calico - I missed that one! All I know about Tokio Hotel is that their lead singer is a dude who looks like a lady. Now I MUST check them out further!


Stuart - Your jerking my chain, are'nt you?

Enjoy Star Trek!! I've heard it's good, and I'll totally be watching that at some point. I admit it.

Elliott - LOVE Laurie Anderson!!!!!!!! Oh, and remind me to send you the same HTML cheat sheet that I made for Mala, ok?

Kate - OMG, yes! I thought I was the only fan who liked Breaking Dawn but hated that fraking "Reneesmee" abomination they saddled their freak child with! Seriously, WTH?!

Oh, and if you lived anywhere near me, you'd better believe you'd be coming to the theatre to see it. So there!

Mala - Yes, yes, she's fug. But who says all pop stars have to be pretty, huh? Madonna is also fug, and she's one of the most successful pop stars evah.

I do love how scrawny and nasty she looks next to Beyonce, though. Hilars!

Maeghan - Welcome back, married lady! Team Jacob?! UGH! Can we still be friends? Hmmm.

I know what you mean, Edward can be a tool. But you simply cannot argue with true love, yo. It is a force that transcends even death. Jacob didn't stand a chance.

Mala said...

That's true. I was with Bev that New Years Eve. She was in fact drunk and shouting about dick.

onebadmamajama said...

Ahhh..New Moon. I'll probably wait til it hits DVD. I was totally unimpressed (okay, it was ridonk!) with Twilight. I certainly hope they put a little more money into it and made it better! I did buy Star Trek today and it was just as good on DVD as it was in the theater! Chris Pine and Karl Urban...yummy!

As for Lady Gaga..ever since I saw that concert footage where it appeared that her pecker fell outta her dress, I just can't look at her the same. But as long as I don't have to look at her the music is still alright. At least it's catchy:)

Headphones Monkey said...

I live by the motto "No pleasure is guilty." Air your cheese honey, just the way starlets air the un-pantied lady regions. If you want a confession from me to prove it, I own Clay Aiken's Christmas CD.

Samsmama said...

I don't get the Twilight fascination one bit, nor do I think any of those guys are remotely attractive, but I also don't judge.

I'm with OBMJ, I give Gaga mad props for keeping things neatly tucked away. Most of the time. But I like her(?) voice and music. And I'll have you know that I can't listen to her(?) without thinking of you.

MtnMama said...

Bev - ha! No, if I could choose a path to riches, it would NOT be having my person plastered all over. I'd love to have a famous nom de plume, but not be tabloid fodder, no ma'am.

Kate said...

Okay, okay, I admit it...if I had a group of ladies that I could blame it on, I would SO be there!

Heidi Renée said...

I like Styx AND New Kids on the Block. You know what collaboration I want to see? Gaga and Freddie Mercury.

Mary said...

My 17 year old looks a lot like Jacob from Twilight...hence a LOT of girls hanging around and calling recently. I just want to say, he's not a werewolf idiots!

also, my husband is convinced Lady Gaga is a man...a man, baby!

While I haven;t seen the movies, I loathe to admit- I did read all the books :)

Bev said...

Mala - Just like EVERY New Year's Eve, am I right? WOOOOOOT!

OBMJ - Yes, the 1st movie was lame, I know. Did I think it was terrible? Yes. Did I still love it and hug it and call it George*? Also yes. Sad, but true.

And I don't think that was a pecker that fell out of Gaga's dress. I watched the vid repeatedly and decided that she just has huge labia. Besides, if she is a dude, I don't care. (s)he is still awesome. :)

* This is a Looney Toons reference that no one ever gets.

Headphones Monkey - Thank you! I agree, we all have our guilty pleasures. I won't judge you about Clay... but please tell me you hate Nickelback? PLEASE?

Samsmama - I'm honored! I'll have you know that I think of your son whenever I hear that song, "Low." "The apple-bottom jeans and the boots with the fuuuuurrr, fuuuuurrrr... the whole club lookin' at heerrrrrr...."


Mtn Mama - I hear 'dat. Though being a famous author would be ok by me. I could handle that.

Kate - Right on!

Heidi R - Gaga and Freddie would set something on fire with their hotness. Even dead that man is crazy-awesome.

Mary - A son who looks like Jacob... egads. I'd be installing razor wire chain link around my property to keep the girls out. ;)

Elliott said...

I love being 'nobody', since I will always...ALWAYS...get a Loony Toons reference...


And yes, famous author. At minimum, famous blogger. Whatever pays the bills. And by 'bills' I mean bills.

And strippers.

Steph said...

Judging? I'm not judging. I'm pissed we don't live near each other.

I will be at New Moon (with my SIL and my Missouri BFF) at midnight. WHAT? NO JUDGING.

Also, I love Lady Gaga in everything. But negl - Paparazzi is still my favorite video of hers. Of course, that might be the fact that Alexander Skarsgard (or however you spell his damn name) is in it.

Anonymous said...

skaaaaarsgard (how many fucking a's are in his name anyway?) is in a video? i can't get enough of that guy. but i don't watch videos anymore. can't even find MTV on the dial. does MTV even play videos anymore? ugh. i'm so lame.

i'm like calico and live in a glass house, so i would never throw any stones for loving shit like lady (?) gaga and the twilight series. i love vampire books/movies/shows, but the twilight series aren't sexy enough for me. i need lots of sex.

i love that cary thinks that admitting to liking Styx is embarrassing. i am an uber fan of rush. i own all albums, see them as much as possible when they tour and can quote song lyrics and know which song is from which album. sad.

then again, many of you already know this about me.

also? the little man in the boat thing made me laugh.

Bev said...

Elliott - You're always somebody here at the OOBH. You waskly wabbit, you.

Steph - Enjoy the midnight showing! I'm going on 9:30 PM on Saturday night. Can't WAIT!

Oh, and that is definitely my fave Gaga video, for exactly the same reason. DROOOOOOOOL.

A-non - Oh yes, the yummy Alexander is in this video, and ooooh is he bad.

Gotta admit, the lack of sex in Twilight pissed me off and left me completely hard-up too. After reading them I discovered Charlaine Harris (True Blood) and found out that vamps who fuck are much more fun & exciting! WIN.

I know you love your Rush, and that's a-ok. My husband is a Rush fan too, and I like them fine! Besides, I don't trust anyone who isn't passionate about something!

Headphones Monkey said...

Yes Bev, I am a Nickleback haterator. But I got more cheese than a fromagerie and I ain't giving it up.

Frank Irwin said...

Speaking of New Moon and lame.

Kari said...

Dude, I am in my 40s and I can't wait for New Moon to come out. Ain't no shame in my game.

I dig the Gaga. You have to respect that level of batshit crazy.

And I totally walk around all the time saying the Looney Tune George quote.

Bev said...

Headphones - Love that! I can admit to liking a ton of cheese as well - Elton John, Tom Petty, Neil Diamond? Check, check, and check. Paul Simon? Double check. Britney Spears? GUILTY.

Frank -HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Perfection.

Kari - Yay! I love you x 3. :)

Harmony said...

Oh man have you ever hit the motherload of quilty pleasures here.

I view myself as a recovering Twilight addict. Oh it was sickening the yearning I had in between books. And I cannot even begin to tell you the relief I got when the last one was over, I definitely had that sense of closure..thank god for that. Because EVERYTHING was put on standby while I junkied out on all the Twilight goods.

I did sit amongst a sea of tween Twilight fans for the first movie. Their angst, their sorrow added to such an ironic atmosphere..as I went thinking I would get hooked again, only to find myself laughing until I cried and rolling out of my seat. A secret part of me hopes that New Moon will deliver an even worse performance, while the other MORE hidden half hopes for something more fitting of the book. Either way? I am definitely going to watch it!

Lady Gaga will forever blow me away, her transformations are seriously incredible. She definitely has the fug going on, but there are moments where she is absolutely beautiful..how the fuck does she pull that off? She is awesome, all the way awesome..she is awesomesauce on top of awesome.

Jillinator said...

Woot! I'm so excited about going to the movies - whoohoo!

Frank Irwin said...

Oh, how I wish that OWV had their own blog. That would be outstanding.

WV (not OWV): forninal - a urinal for four "really close" friends.

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