Monday, December 7, 2009

From the Vault

I went through some photos at my mom's house yesterday and found a couple more good 'uns. Time to open up the Vault again and give you a peek at my goods!

The Sixties were a confusing time. Grandma here is thrilled to be receiving what is possibly the most hideous and flammable outfit known to man. She was so excited that she clearly hurried straight to the Christmas morning present-opening without even bothering to put her teeth in. *sigh* I miss that crazy old broad.

Oh, and is that carpet cleaner or AquaNet next to her? Did someone give her cleaning/grooming products for Christmas? [scratching head]

It's well-established that I was a chunky baby, although my sister kindly insists that I was normal-sized and just looked fat in every single photo taken in the 1970's. However, this picture is pretty irrefutable proof that I was massive.


Last but not least, I didn't even know that I still had these photos, so I have to share. When I was a teenager I babysat A LOT. It blows my mind nowadays that I can't pay a teenager to come watch my kids so we can have a night out because they are all just too busy, yet I worked for $3/hour and always said yes. (said the hooker) At any rate, throughout my teenage years one of my best "clients" was a single mom with two little girls whom she had adopted from India. Boss Lady had some money and loved to travel, but doing so with two kids under 5 was not easy for her, so she'd often bring along a sitter. When I was 17 she asked me to go to Switzerland with them for two weeks, and because my mama didn't raise no fools, I said "HELL YES!"

It was an interesting trip; I wasn't nuts about being with the kids and Boss Lady 24/7, but the sights I saw were so incredible that it was well-worth dealing with the spoiled brats children while she went off hiking for most of each day. The night we arrived in Geneva it was raining and foggy so I didn't see a single mountain until the next day. I'll never forget waking up in my dark room and opening up the curtains to the most breathtaking view I'd ever, ever, EVER seen. The pics don't do it justice.

"The hills are aliiiiiive... with the sound of Griswold...."

Anywho, there it is. I've got something special planned for later this week or early next. Would you all be interested in doing another round of "I'll show you mine/yours?" I've got a fun idea for those who want in.

Hope you're all having a happy Monday.


Elliott said...

Man, that's a sweet babysitting job if ever there was one. I've only seen the Alps from the sky.

Were you still getting paid $3/hr while you were touring Europe?

MtnMama said...

ha; looks like Colorado...
I babysat a LOT, too - for $1 an hour! I think at the end I was raking in a buck fifty. When my fav family went on vacation for a week they left the kids at home with me! And yes, brought me back a tshirt. No lie. *sigh* Clearly, the cards were dealt already. No international trips for moi!
Nice pic of Grandma, and yeah, I was wondering what the hell was on the floor next to her. :)

Bev said...

Elliott - I believe I went on the trip gratis, if you can call it that. My payment was in juiceboxes, cheese, and life experiences. ;)

MtnMama - I've been lucky enough to visit CO just twice, and the Rockies are absolutely incredible! Something about the Alps really left me speechless, though. The town where we stayed for the bulk of our trip was only accessible by a cog train that was pitched at crazy angle. The town is perched on the top of a mountain like something out of fairy tale!

And yeah, $1/hour and they only brought you back a shirt? Pppbbbbt.

Mala said...

What? Aquanet makes an awesome stocking stuffer!
Your Grandma rocked!

And dammmnnnnnnnn! I never got a babysitting gig like that! SWEET! But hey, who's supposed to be watching those two kids about to fall off that massive slide?

And of course I'm up for a little you show me yours/ I'll show you mine! When am I not?!

onebadmamajama said...


onebadmamajama said...

That was one friggin' suhweet babysitting gig! I always ended up having to babysit my cousins for, like, 50 cents/hr (and I think that is being generous!).

I might show you mine..just depends on what it is you are wanting to see!;)

Elliott said...

Oh, and I'm all for show you mine, you show us yours. Tit for tat, so to speak. I have a giant box of tat at home, but I can only distribute it in pairs...that's how it's packaged.

Bev said...

OMG, I can't stop giggling at Elliott!!!! GOOD ONE! Fuckin' love it.

Ok, back to business.

Mala - If you look at that photo closely, you'll see that the girls are actually levitating just above the slide. Because of their unique gifts I felt comfortable stepping back to take the photo. ;)

OBMJ - I know, it is sweet, right? Of course, I haven't been back to Europe SINCE then, but whatev. Someday....

Elliott - Tit for tatt, indeed. I'll giev you some quid for your pro quo too, while we're at it.

Organic Meatbag said...

I'll show you my prized collection of clown porn if you show me yours! Heheheheh

Whiskey Girl said...

I can't wait for you to show me yours....

Lindsey Himmler said...

That really is the worst outfit I've ever seen.

Mala said...

Please tell me that suit was left to you in the will....

mo.stoneskin said...

I hope Grandma didn't put that outfit on by the fire.

Heidi Renée said...

I'll play!

I hated babysitting. Haaaated.

PorkStar said...

I sooooooooooooo want to be in, you know I'm dying to show you mine (whatever it is that we' be playin').

LMAO at chunky baby, I couldn't agree more and I went back and looked at the pics from that post and ROFLMAO cute cute / funny


Senorita said...

Thanks for sharing.

My "vault" story is that when I lived in Barcelona 5 years I tried being an Aupair to three young boys in San Sebastian. I moved up there and everything. The man was a doctor and his wife was a nurse. Beautiful house with a dog.

Unfortunately I only lasted a week. The boys were too wild (they were being normal boys) but I couldn't get a handle on them, and I was isolated on the mountain.

After one week, I told them my grandpa died and that I had to go home. I never regretted that decision.

Bev said...

OM - You had me at clown. The porn part is merely a bonus!

WG - Only if you show yours, too! I can't wait to see it. Might have to do it tomorrow. :)

Lindsey - It is, right?! UGH!

Mala - I wish!

Mo - Exactly! Between the AquaNet, the fireplace, and the polyester - what a scorching Christmas they'd have had!

Heidi - Yay! I'm gonna hold you to that.... :)

Porky - Hey, I just got my ugly duckling phase out of the way early!

Senorita - Sounds like you dodged a bullet there. Isolated with boys for days on end? That sounds terrible.... Oh, wait. CRAP!

Samsmama said...

"what is possibly the most hideous and flammable outfit known to man" made me laugh really freaking hard! And regardless of what the liquid substance is, it's most certainly an accelerant.

Don't feel bad, I was an enormous baby, too. My mom says it was just normal "baby fat" but I honestly looked like I ate another kid.

Ok, I got $1 per hour per kid to babysit. When they reached 5 kids I was done with them. Just wasn't worth it anymore. And those kids didn't even float.

Stuart said...

I think my mom had that same outfit. In fact, I think she may still have it.

Those pictures make me kinda homesick. Having spent the best part of my childhood in Germany, those mountains just make me feel like I'm not where I should be right now. But I make up for it by putting on lederhosen and invading Poland.

wv - comsk: the Russian city where that outfit was made

dogimo said...

Man. One of these days, I've got to go see myself some Alp. Look at those suckers.

Anonymous said...

ecellent post love reading beautiful keep up good work telephone scissors mirror calendar!

(sorry, but i kinda miss the nonsenical comments...)

love the picture of grandma! was she wearing a wig? because i have memories of my grandma wearing the same outfit - teeth out and everything - and wearing the same wig.

what an awesome babysitting job! i'm such a spoiled brat because i love to lament about how my brother and sister both got high school/senior trips to Europe, but i didn't because my parents split up JUST before i was old enough. boohoo, i know.

love the chunky little bev pictures... :)

Cary said...

You've already seen mine. But I'd love to see yours. I'll show you mine from another angle if you like.

I love The Sound Of Music. I'm not kidding. Sue me. Then eat me.