Monday, December 21, 2009

Stalking Santa is frowned-upon

Why should this year be any different?

I'm always on Santa's naughty list, and that's just the way I like it! If you're not naughty, how do you have any fun at all?

ANYWHO, enough about naughty ol' Bev.

On Saturday night we took the kids on a train ride to "The North Pole." Each year the Believe in Books Literacy Program puts on a special event based on the children's book The Polar Express. Tickets are hard to get; there is a lottery system due to the limited seating and popularity of the show. My mother heard about it ages ago and started entering us all in the lottery every year. It took her three years, but she finally got the call a couple of months ago and we were able to get tickets.

D was sooo excited when he first caught a glimpse of the train (it's back there somewhere but you'll have to take my word for it).

The train ride is very short, but just like in the book the children are served hot chocolate and chocolate candies with nuggat centers. Once the train arrives at the "North Pole" there is a little show where the elves greet you, the book is read aloud, and then Santa comes out and greets every child in the place and gives out the "first gift of Christmas."

My kids were pretty determined to get some face-time with the Big Guy, so when he started making his rounds D was front and center, grinning at him. Santa kindly said hello to him and shook his hand, then continued on around the room. Before I knew it D had followed him and he managed to shake Santa's hand AGAIN. Jim and I kind of chuckled awkwardly and steered D back to our seats, but then next thing we know little M is heading towards Santa, so D ran over to "help" his brother say hello. Poor Santa - every time he turned around he saw a pair of blond brothers in matching green pajamas! By the third time he kind of stood back and looked down his nose at D and then said, "Are you two related? Haven't I seen you before?"

The whole thing is pretty special for the kids, and mine just loved it! On the train ride home each child gets a little jingle bell from Santa's sleigh, just like in the book. What could have been supremely cheesy was actually kind of magical, and personally, this Bah Humbugger really needed some magic this year.

Good times.

My favorite picture of the night was taken during dinner before the show. We stopped at a pizza place and M had just woken up and was quite cranky. He kept staring at us like he didn't even recognize us and we were starting to fear that people would think we'd kidnapped the kid! Finally he retreated to the corner to get his bearings:

What a SCOWL!

It was a nice weekend, all in all. The company dinner party on Friday night was fine; no surprises. As always I got in a few good jokes after a glass of wine and all of my uptight idiot coworkers act like I'm "coming out of my shell."

"You're so much fun, Beverly!" They say, surprised.
"I'm always fun," I reply tartly.

Fuck 'em. Jerks who do nothing but bitch about coffee, carpet stains, and dead rodent smells don't deserve Fun Bev - they'll get Surly Bev and they'll like it, by God.

In other news, I'm one follower away from reaching that magical number: 69. You know how I'm gonna feel about that:


Have a good Monday, everyone!


Elliott said...

Girl, you know it's true. In my mind, I'm doing half of the Milli Vanilli dance. (Because there's only one of me.)

We used to have a Christmas Train that came through Wisconsin every winter. There were a few passenger cars and you could visit it while it stopped in town, but the best was to see it roaring down the tracks, the engine and all the cars decked out with a few billion lights as it threw wisps of snow away from the right-of-way.

I love the D, unlike other kids his age, isn't intimidated by the likely alcoholic old man. At least every Santa I visited in my youth smelled like my grandfather, so I assume that's still par for the course.

Stacie's Madness said...

i think 69 is fine.

my friend went on the polar express thing last year...I think it sounds awesome!

Shannon said...

The scowl on M's face deserves my undying respect. I am quite the scowler meself. And good job stalking Santa. How the hell else do you get the good stuff?

Bev said...

Elliott - HAHA!!! I'll be your Vanilli any day, dude. Just give me some notice so I can put on my hat with pre-attached dreads.

This Santa was highly-believable! Read: only slightly sauced.

Stacie - 69 is fine? High-praise indeed! :)

Shannon - You're a scowler? But, you look so smiley in that avatar of yours, doll-face! Wait a minute....

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

CURSES! I already follow you, otherwise I could have been 69.


No, I'll be okay. Really I will.


MtnMama said...

I'm jealous; they had the Polar in Sacramento while we were there but I couldn't get us in, and I don't think we have one here. I was devastated that we missed the Ski Train to Winter Park by One stinking year. I took my nephew but can't take my daughter?!

I have ALWAYS been on the naughty list. It's the only way to fly. (bonus? my WV: tarting)

Love your scowling child.

Mala said...

So right now I'm totally picturing Elliott in the spandex leggings.... Nice. It suits him.

Glad the train trip was fun. Little known secret; the chamber of commerce also sells tickets, and they're readily available. I know, bastards for keeping that quiet!

And good for D for going after what he wants! I hear Santa appreciates tenacity.

Frank Irwin said...

Speaking of stalking, here's a photo of Bev's bathroom.

Bev said...

mjenks - Aw, sorry buddy! That train has sailed. [patting shoulder] There, there.

MtnMama - Tarting? SWEET! Further proof that Blogger is spying on us.

Mala - Are you suuuuure? B/c the Hobo Express also has a Santa train, but it's not the same even though it's the SAME train, same route, same Santa, but $25 less. Sonofa----! Oh well, at least this is for charity, so I can feel good about getting ripped off.

Frank - OMG! I can't believe you posted that photo! I was just being nice, letting you in to use the bathroom in your, um, condition. Btw, you owe me a can of Glade and a book of matches, dude. P.U!

New England Girl said...

That photo of M scowling is SO cute. If I were you, I would frame it and hang it somewhere. :) What an adorable shot.
I also love the Polar Express event. I've seen it mentioned other places and think it would be so so much fun to head on out to... but, with my luck, I could enter the lottery for 15 years and never be given tickets. Ah well.

And stalking Santa is way too much fun to pay attention to the people who frown upon it. :)

Mr. Condescending said...

did you get to see the loser in the front train, shoveling all the coal into the furnace!?

Nicolasa said...

That is the coolest thing ever! How fun!

I love the scowl on his face, poor guy.

And, 69 is an awesome number!

dogimo said...

You know, as soon as I hit follow and saw I was #67, I went: "ARRGH!!" I didn't say arg, I went arg. Much more painful.

I should've waited. I could have been the one!

Mary said...

I love everything about this post- from the Polar Express (which makes me cry every time I read it) to the scowl on M's face (I have a million photos of my kids with suspiciously similar looks) to 'surly Bev'....
you're the best :)

Bev said...

NE Girl - It was fun! Put your name in now for when you have kids in a few years! :)

Mr C - I WISH! I'd have sent it to you, of course. Your name has become synonomous with losers. Heeeee.

Nicolasa - Yes! It's a great event, and the money goes towards a charity, which is nice. All of the staff are volunteers!

Dogimo - I'm glad you didn't wait. 67 is also a VERY cool number! In fact, I'm air guitaring and saying "Excellent!" for you, too!

Cary said...

69 saves lives. Wait. Never mind.

Love the pic of M. Looks like he slunk off to the corner to shit his pants like my kid used to do.

In the pic on the train, the woman in glasses is praying that the trip is worth all the money she paid because her son Damien will kill her if not.

Bev said...

Aw, thanks Mary! You're the best too, lady! *muah*

Cary - Ha! Yes, D used to squat behind a chair to poop in his pants too, so I know that look well.

I didn't even notice that lady on the train! She looks exasperated and we hadn't even left the station yet!

Cary said...

Bev, my daughter used to go off to a corner and make these tiny little grunting sounds. It was all we could do not to laugh like hell, but then, you don't wanna do that, they say. Potty shame and whatnot.

Heidi Renée said...

I am SO jealous you went on the train and got bells. I want to know if I can still hear the bell! (looove that book)

I just checked and you're at the big 6-9. Woohoo!