Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Oobh Stew: Lunch is served!

Mmmm, delicious Oobh Stew! I remembered it was your favorite, so I decided to mix up a big ol' batch of random ingredients and serve it up hot and spicy, just in time for lunch. Hope you brought your Tums.

Ingredient 1: A dash of Gaga.

By now you all know I love the song and video for Lady Gaga's Bad Romance, so it is only natural that I share the latest (hilarious) spoof version made by a bunch of bored teenagers in somebody's messy house. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "Badder Romance":



Thank you, Urlesque.

Ingredient 2: One scalded unit

Do you guys know who Channing Tatum is? Yeah, me either. Apparently he's an actor who gave a very revealing interview to Details magazine about an accident he suffered while shooting a movie no one will ever see in Scotland. It was so cold that they were pouring diluted boiled water down his wet suit to keep him from freezing to death, and at the end of the day a crew member with a serious grudge against him forgot to dilute the water and he ended up severely burning the head of his wee-wee and going to the hospital. You can read all about the painful details here. Ow.

Ingredient 3: Suri Cruise, age 3, wears higher heels, has nicer clothes, and drives a more expensive car than you do.

That's right, her psycho dad bought her a tiny little race car replica that costs almost fifty grand.

Yet he'll no doubt be shocked when she develops a drug problem, sleeps with anything that moves, and has no concept of reality when she hits her teens.

Ingredient 4: A pinch of Jason Bateman in ladies undies.
Don't ask me how I found this photo because I couldn't even tell you. It just popped up on a Google image search and I couldn't NOT post it. Do I know why my long-time crush Jason Bateman is wearing girly undies? No, no I do not. Do I care? Not really, no. I'm sure it's *cough* a photoshoot or something *cough*.

I'd still hit it like the fist of an angry god.

Ingredient 5: Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol.

Shock! Awe! Meh.

I don't care. I don't watch that shit, yo. In other news, when I was looking for a picture of Simon, preferably one of him on the beach with his furry moobs showing (what? I just think they're funny!), I found this little item:



HA!! Perfect! My husband has a birthday coming up, and I think I know just what to get him....

So there it is. *BURP* That's some good stew, if I do say so myself. Hope you enjoyed it too!

Ta-ta for now!

23 comments:

Salt said...

Ok that's it. You are my new fave. Thank goodness you posted that hairy chest shirt. I have been looking everywhere for the perfect wedding gift for my fiancé.

Also re: Suri Cruise: All of those things that you just said are totally true. It feels strange to be one-upped by a 3 year old!

Anonymous said...

damn that stew tastes goooood!

i saw that channing tatum dude in a terrible move once - think it was a sequel of a good movie? anyway, he's a shitty actor and is kinda cute. but he's one of those 35+yr old actors who always ends up playing a high schooler. and that shit pisses me off!

love the simon cowell t-shirt!

as for some Anonymous Stew, i must tell you that we finally finished watching Season 1 of true blood last night. what a trip!

Anonymous said...

on, and btw - my daughter is the same age as Suri. every time i see a picture of that little bitch wearing heels or a gucci bag, i vomit. and not just a little vomit either.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

And unlike the soup I try to eat for lunch, it had very little hair in it. Well done.

Join the Gossip said...

Aw, thanks for visiting my blog! Love this post, very entertaining. I'll have to watch the video when I get home from work! There's another spoof that's pretty funny, but raunchy. The chorous is "I just sh*t my pants..."

Happy Tuesday =)

Bev said...

Salt - thanks! Back at'cha, too.

Anon - You've got me beat; while his name sounds familiar (b/c who could forget a name like Channing Tatum?) I've never laid eyes on him before. Weird, considering I'm such an entertainment whore.

Sorry 'bout the vomit! I get it, I really do. It's quite sickening.

Jenks - Yes, no hair that you can SEE, anyway.

Oh, and they don't call it Chunky soup for nada. They just don't really go into detail about what comprises the chunks, now do they?

Bev said...

Join the Gossip - Welcome! Now I need to go back to YouTube and find that raunchy version! Sounds perfecto....

calicobebop said...

*sigh* Suri was doomed from the start. Let's hope the Cruises have enough money for her future rehab bills.

Burned his wee wee? YIKES!

MtnMama said...

I adore spoof videos. I wish I'd had friends like that when I was a teenager; maybe I wouldn't be so f*d up now...
Tom Cruise is PLANNING on his daughter turning out like that - that's his "career plan" for later - when he can no longer get idiots to pay him to make horrible movies, he participates in Suri's "interventions" - on camera, of course.
Yep, Jason is hot in a strapless bra. Words I never thought I'd have to type.

New England Girl said...

That video is HILARIOUS! Oh my goodness. Thanks for sharing. :)

I also love the delicious image that is Channing Tatum... yum!

LenkaLovee said...

haha! loved this post!!! :) love you blog! :) you definitly have a unique style of writing/blogging! :)
thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment! greatly appreaciated! stop by again sometime! :)

Mala said...

Jenksy - if you can look at that t-shirt and say this post has less hair than yesterday's soup.... GAG!

moving on:

And they say America's youth are hopeless and apathetic. I now have renewed faith! Bev, I feel inspired! Let's break out the ol' camcorder!

Suri, have you met Lindsay? It's like looking at your future.


Deeeeee-lish stew Bevers!

Anonymous said...

She's The Man!

that's the name of the god-awful movie i saw him in. terrible actor.

btw, he's 20.

goddamnit, i'm old!

Anonymous said...

Channing Tatum is 30.

by "i'm old.", i meant "i'm stupid."

Bev said...

Calico - somehow I think the Cruises will have enough dough for rehab, yes. Let's not start a collection just yet!

MtnMama - Yes, I was thinking the same thing! I would have loved to do something like that as a teenager. If only consumer video cameras had been invented back in those dark ages.... Oh, wait. CRAP!

NE Girl - Glad you liked it, thanks!

LenkaLovee - Welcome! Please visit often.

Mala - Don't joke; I am totally thinking we need to make a spoof of some kind. My camcorder is gathering dust! At the least, we'll be vlogging at some point. You know, like how we said we would do a year ago. Oops.

Anon - HAHAHAHAHAHA! First, you saw "She's the Man?" Second, you're not old or stupid. You're my age and wicked freakin' smaht, dood.

tracey said...

so in love with jason bateman. sigh. delicious even in a woman's scanties.

Stacie's Madness said...

that shirt made me just puke a little...

Jillinator said...

that... was.... AWESOME! what a great mix of items (and I LOVED your comment about the angry fist of god... I totally would too)

and about the burned weenie... why boil then dilute... why not just use warm water to start with? also, if you burn the tip, how the hell do you pee? wonder if that was agony (perhaps it said so in the article, but I'm waaaay too heebed out to read it)

dogimo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bev said...

Tracey - Yeah, baby! Nice to see a fellow JB lovah!

Stacie - heeee, mission accomplished then.

Jill - glad you liked it! No idea why they chose that method to warm him up! Seems like an accident waiting to happen to me, too.

Comment Deleter - Tease!

Frank Irwin said...

Mmmm....spicy.

I love creative college kids with too much time on their hands.

This video is especially fun when you run it next to the original.

Heidi Renée said...

Sheesh, can everyone see the video but me? I guess that's what I get for showing up late for lunch.

Bev said...

Frank - I know you lika de spice!

Heidi - Hmmm, weird!! Video works for me. Take my word for it - it's funny. :)