Friday, February 12, 2010

Friday lunch special: OOBH Stew

Hello, you sexy thangs, you! Happy Friday!

As most of you know, OOBH Stew is a tempting mish-mash of all the funny and cringe-worthy pop culture items that I stumbled across this week while pretending to work at my crap job. I throw them all into a big pot, add some special seasoning (AKA acerbic wit), and stir it up with an ugly stick.

"Needs more dog!"

Then I let it simmer until it's kind of a murky gray color, which is how I know it's ready to serve - usually on a Friday. I like to serve it with a nice tossed salad. (You heard me)

First up, this one's for my BFF Mala, who finally managed to make it back from her two week long vacay (Green-Eyed Monster alert!) a few days ago. Malomatic has always loved that wacky little Brit, Mr. Bean. Lord knows why, but I love her so I look the other way. In exchange, she says nothing about my Gaga or True Blood infatuations as well as the fact that I refuse to watch any reality show involving Brett Michaels with her. It's what you do for friends, yes?

Oddly enough, several times this week a Google image search turned up this little beauty while I was looking for pictures to use here on the blog, so I thought it must be fate. You must need to see this:

CREEEEEE-PEEEEEEE! If anything that looked like that ever came out of my vagina I would immediately call an exorcist and start salting the ground.


InTouch Weekly SAYS this is Debbie Gibson showing off her new bikini body. I call bullshit.

is Debbie Gibson.

I don't know who this strange-faced impostor is, but it can't be Debbie Gibson. She'll always be this 80's fabulous to me.

Pop that collar, girl. Pop it!

Wow, she's thin. Anytime you can count someones ribs between where their boobs ought to be, girlfriend is definitely skinny. I'm less concerned about the fact that she has starved herself into Crypt-Keeper territory than I am about the fact that her face is... well, somethin' just ain't right. Right?

Dlisted, one of my fave blogs(from whom I boosted this photo) says she looks like "Uma Thurman after going overboard in the sauna." True 'dat! I was thinking she looked more like naked Mr. Burns.

Last but not least, Nicolasa over at Low Expectations posted this cute little site today that lets you generate your own candy hearts for V-day. Here are mine:

What would yours say?

So there it 'tis. I hope you all enjoyed it.
Have a great day. TGIF!


Salt said...

Candy heart generator!? LOVE IT!

And seriously WTeffingF? That can't be Debbie G, can it? I just spent 10 minutes looking back and forth between her 80's pic and that creepy new pic (honestly I thought it was Uma at first). Girlfriend either had lots of bad plastics done or something. Plus she is suffering from a severe case of lollypop head. Someone give her a sandwich!

Heather said...

I'm totally going to generate me some candy hearts. Thanks!

Also, I love this flavor today. Try to replicate it next week? Maybe? If not, thats ok I can deal.

WV butotar? Like a butt of tar? or butt tartar?

Samsmama said...

Oh my get why I'm laughing you might need to dash over to LoTD and check out his first post today. I'm cracking up!

Love the stew, as always! I'm too full, though. Celebrated my birthday a bit too well. Just ate a McMuffin, but what I really need is some McIbuprofen and a McNap.

Liz Tee said...

I'm all about Rowan Atkinson, but yikes!! That 'baby' is going to give me nightmares.

Debbie Gibson? Sad. It's particularly sad that she thinks she looks HAWT.

Happy Friday!

w/v: kitties. I >heart< kitties!

Lindsey Himmler said...

OMG. All of those pictures are creepy and horrifying.

Bev said...

Salt - Lollypop head! Totally accurate. She scares me, like... for real.

Heather - Enjoy making your hearts! I'll do my best to make it just as tasty next week, but it's never the same recipe twice so I can't make any promises.

Samsmama - I saw that right after I posted!! Great minds, and all that good stuff!

Happy Birthday!! I hear you on the McNap. I would love one of those myself.

Liz - Yes! She is seriously delusional. Sad, really, but I still want to force-feed her chowder until she bulks up again.

Happy Friday back to ya!

Lindsey - Yup! I think my work here is done. :)

Elliott said...

I'm with Salt, the first thought was "PLEASE don't be Uma!" And yes, Debbie Gibson needs to look all popped-collar hot like I remember her from my high-school fantasies. She's my age. That's just wrong to look like a skinny version of Victoria Gotti.

I'm one to appreciate all forms of beauty, but 'bone' is not beauty.

Well, maybe mine...

What? Overshare?

Mala said...

Awwwwww, thanks Bev! My very own RA shout out. But before everyone thinks me odd, I'm not in love with Mr. Bean-RA but BlackAdder-RA. Rrrrrrrrrrr! C'mon! He's wearing leather and a cod piece. HAWT! Anyone? No? Just me then, eh? What can I say, I love my snarky little Brits.

And since everyone is looking at me all cock-eyed; I once did one of those sites that you download a man and woman's pictures and it shows you what their baby would look like. RA and I produced one cute baby! Oddly enough, Ralph Fiennes and I made a fugly martian baby. I'll have to keep that in mind the next time I get the opportunity to bed that fine piece of ass.

Longest comment ever? Hey, I still have to make up for my hiatus.

And it's Deb Gibson, yo.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I'm feeling like trying something different tonight, Moe.

All I gots is this Red Tick Beer.


Kate said...

THat baby picture will give me nightmares. I'm blaming you.

MtnMama said...

So glad your seasoning is "acerbic wit" and not something else... just saying.
I am proud that my body size has remained pretty stable over the years (making the baby doesn't count) and that I have maintained enough padding to keep from imitating Skelator and yet not end up on the Beached Whale Website, y'know?
It's a delicate balance.

Bev said...

Elliott - there's no such thing as oversharing here. Absolutely NOT! In fact, tell me more about your bone.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't wanna see it!"

~ Molly Ringwald, 16 Candles

Mala - actually, I believe she now prefers, Deborah. But fuck that, she's Debbie and that's that. You can't go changing your name mid-career! That means you too, Tiffany AMBER Thiessan!

Jenks - WIN. Nicely done!

Kate - people keep telling me that I am giving them nightmares all the time. I'm starting to get a complex!

MtnMama - Yes, you are hot now and you have always been hot!

My bod has stayed in the same ballpark. It helps when you don't set the bar too high (or too thin)!

Mala said...

What? Wait! She still has a career? As what, a scarecrow?

Mala said...

dammit! Am I back on the board yet?

Senorita said...

That baby picture is so effing scary and disgusting that I don't think that I could ever scrub that image out of my head with bleach.

Heidi Renée said...

My candy heart would say "Bring me a pizza, bitch." Luckily for him, that's what Jason is out doing right now, so maybe I'll make him a nicer one later.

Join the Gossip said...

hahaha Mr. Bean is creepy enough not on the body of a baby!

Love your candy hearts, hilarious!

calicobebop said...

Eww! Debbie Gibson looks like a zombie! gross! If that's hawt, then I'm fine being a slob.

Love the candy hearts!

dogimo said...

That Mister Baby Bean is horrific enough that it should star as the monster in its own horror movie.

Love the candy hearts!

Kate said...

All I can say is that picture is fucking freaking me out man. Why picture? Take your pick.

tracey said...

something is up with the network at work so it's not letting me comment on your blog - which is what i do instead of my job.
'debbie' - screw the whole deborah thing - looks like a mummy - dusty, old & dried out - eat a twinkie for God's sake.

anyway, gotta be up at 6 tomorrow & i've had too much kitchen sink - a very decent red wine btw - so i'd better get to bed before my un-pastor's wife tourette's kicks in. : )

happy valentines's day - glad to have you out of the LID/sinthroid/crappy thyroid funk.

Frank Irwin said...

What were you googling when you got the RA-baby picture?