Monday, March 8, 2010

OOBH Stew: Oscar Edition

Good Monday morning!

Who watched the Academy Awards last night? Show of hands...

(nodding head)

Okay, yup, yup. As I expected. Not many of you watched it all, and to be perfectly honest, neither did I. I get really bored during awards shows despite all of the sparkly celebrities, but I make it a point to watch the half-hour red carpet pre-show and the first 30-45 minutes of the show.

In this post I'm gonna hit the high points... right up until I went to bed.

I adore Neil Patrick Harris and he can do no wrong in my book. He opened the show Vegas-style with glitz, feathers, and a few off-color jokes that I'm sure bugged any prudish viewers right off the bat. Harold & Kumar reference = win.

Best of all, he sang live and nailed every note. LOVE.

Steve Martin & Alec Baldwin hosted, and they were okay. I love me some Alec and his delivery was spot on as always, but Steve seemed terribly rehearsed and stiff to me. Too much set up/punchline/laugh going on there, ya know? They wanted it to seem like they were riffing but they were clearly not.

Alec could have pulled it off; frankly I think next year they should have Alec and Tina Fey host!

One of the first commercial breaks of the night brought us an ad that made me stop and ask, "WTFF?" aloud.

News Flash!
Whoopi Goldberg routinely pees herself.

Ummm, oooooookay. Thanks for that, Whoopi.

Charlize Theron's dress made me crave sugary cinnamon buns for some reason. Odd.

Gabourey Sidibe (from Precious) looked beautiful. Yes, she's a big girl and it must be a stylist's ultimate challenge to outfit her for an event like this, but I love this dress!

The Brat Pack did not age well.

The John Hughes tribute started off so great, then became overly-long and uncomfortable, yes?

I supposed Jennifer Gray might have been there but no one would recognize her post-surgery mug anymore. Judd Nelson looks like a homeless terrorist and Alley Sheedy looks like she hasn't slept or seen the sun in several years. That shapeless black nightgown she was wearing certainly didn't help matters either.

I *heart* this man.

I know he is old enough to have fathered me, but I would still hit that like I was in a Toyota with a stuck gas pedal. What?

Miley Cyrus has terrible posture.

I just want to roll her shoulders back, knee her in the small of her back, and pull her head upwards. Take some yoga or horseback riding lessons or something, girly!

Sandra Bullock won. Good for her. As Jim put it, this movie was her "Erin Broccoli-Bitch." It's so not my kind of movie; in fact we got a bootleg copy of it from J's brother and kept it for a couple of months but never watched it. Meh.

I've always liked Sandra for some reason; maybe because her sister owns a bakery in Montpelier, VT, and Sandy showed up on opening day and slung some danishes to help out. I'm easy like that - I like when celebs act like normal people.

I admit it, I totally laughed at Ben Stiller's Avatar get-up.

I couldn't help it; I giggled. The fact that James Cameron seemed peeved by it only added to the awesomeness. Speaking of that....

It was a great night for ex-wives! Way to stick it to your a-hole ex, Kathryn! Woohoo! Any time I can see James Cameron taken down a few notches is a good night as far as I'm concerned, and how better to get revenge on your ex than by beating him at his own game and looking fantastic while doing so? Vindication.... Enjoy it, Kath!

Again, I haven't seen The Hurt Locker because I don't typically like war movies, but I might have to check this one out out of principle alone.

That's all I've got! I'm sure there were many more photos and moments to discuss, but I needed my beauty sleep, yo!

Did I miss anything?


Elliott said...

Didn't watch it. Never heard of The Hurt Locker, because I've only seen one movie in the theater in the last year. Last two years. Or more?

I should do something to rectify that, but I don't feel that paying $9 or more a ticket is in my personal best interest.

Samsmama said...

I had high school chums over last night so recorded it am just now trying to get through it. Although Dave said he nearly fell asleep many times. And we also got a bootleg copy of The Blind Side. I liked it, but I'm a sap like that. Now I'm going to go make some cinnamon rolls. Tata!

Senorita said...

I've never actually sat down to watch the Oscars.

This weekend was no exception. I was busy entertaining Le Pork Star.

He says hi.

Frank Irwin said...

I watched it last night, for the first time in years.

I'm sorry, but I just don't find Ben Stiller funny at all. It's almost like he grates on a nerve, somehow.

Salt said...

I was HOWLING when Ben Stiller came out. I thought that was one of the funniest parts of the whole night.

Watching this year made me realize how completely I did not pay attention to like ANY of the movies that were made. I haven't seen ANY of the ones that were nominated for best picture. But I'm happy for Sandra Bullock (mostly because I was rooting for The Blind Side because it is about a football player from my favorite team).

And holy crap no kidding about the Brat Pack. Judd? Sweet wallet chain! WTF happened to you? And WTF was up with Molly Ringwald's face? And whyTF did Ally Sheedy sound like she was on ecstasy? I'm sure John Hughes would have been thinking all these same things if he had been alive.

MtnMama said...

Well, Bev, last night was the first night in YEARS that I was NOT camped in front of the set watching, as I was coerced into having "dinner" with a friend and her cranky 7 yr old son, which I could have done without, but hey.
I DVR'd it and am about to camp out and spin through it, sans commercials, (so thanks for the clip!) and indulge myself.
I love the fashion parade and the speeches and the fanfair. Once a year, because I love movies and all that jazz.

MtnMama said...

Ok, you are absolutely right about Steve and Alec, but WTF was up with making the nominees for best actor stand there at the beginning?! AWKWARD!

onebadmamajama said...

I watched every freakin' minute of it! Including the 30 minute Red Carpet walk of uncomfortable and cheesy questions from Sheri Shepard lol

There were no big surprises, except maybe for Sandra Bullock's win. I kinda expected Meryl to get it.

I've seen The Hurt Locker and was rooting for it all the way! I was sooo glad to see it beat the crap outta Avatar. Avatar was good but worthy of a Best Picture Oscar? No way!

Also, the future Mr.OBMJ, Gerard Butler, was a presenter with Bradley Cooper for Best Visual Effects.

Also, I thought Hugh Jackman was a much better host last year. Baldwin and Martin were stiff but they had some funny moments. I coulda done without the Whoppi Goldberg commercial as well:)

onebadmamajama said...

Oh yeah, I almost cried to see how pitiful the Brat Pack looked! The tribute was a nice idea but I think they could have done it a bit differently. Also, was it just me or did they leave Farrah Fawcett out of the tribute to the stars who died this past year?

mo.stoneskin said...

I always knew you were a glitz and feathers girl.

Bev said...

Elliott - I don't get out to the theater much these days either, but now that we have a cheap seats place nearby ($3.50/all shows!) I hope to change that soon.

Samsmama - Mmm, enjoy your buns. :-p

Senorita - oooh, hello to Porky! He never comes by these days. *sniff*

Frank - I know, not everybody likes Ben, but I always have. I love Dodgeball, Zoolander, and Meet The Parents, especially. I guess I'm a fan. Oops!

Salt - Oh, how I missed you while you were off honeymooning!! I couldn't agree more with everything you said there, especially about the Brat Pack. Egads... hard livin', I guess.

Anthony Michael Hall is especially skerry!

MtnMama - Enjoy watching it sans commercials! I watched it live which is how I came across that horrific Whoopi ad. I love movies too, and I love when the stars dress up and look all glam & purty. I can't help it!

And yeah, there are many more of those awkward posed stage pictures after that one, so brace yourself!

OBMJ - Oooh, I missed your boyfriend presenting with my boyfriend (Bradley C)! I can't believe they left out Farrah & Bea Arthur.

How about the Lady Kanye incident? ha ha!

Mo - Absolutely! I'm a theater nerd from way back. If it's got feathers and glitter I'm IN!

onebadmamajama said...

I totally forgot about Bea Arthur!

As for Lady Kanye..I thought maybe she was supposed to be there and was just batshit crazy LOL It was odd for sure.

Organic Meatbag said...

didn't watch, but "Haaaa!" to the Ben Stiller picture...hilarious! And yes, hooray to Jeff Bridges...great actor, totally deserving...

MJenks said...

I didn't watch a bit of it, and the only movie I saw that was up for any awards was Up.

I suck like that. Instead, I nearly finished another chapter in my book. *high fives*

Come on. This is awkward. Isn't anybody going to high-five me?

Heidi Renée said...

I only tuned in for the end. I had no idea that Kathryn Bigelow and James Cameron used to be together. She looked great and won--I am all about that kind of revenge.

Elliott said...

Woo, Jenks! High Five! Down Low!

Lindsey Himmler said...

When the Precious girl cried, I sort of teared up.

What was up with George Clooney looking pissed?

Sandra Bullock looked a-mazing. But Poor Meryl.

Bev said...

OBMJ - lady Kanye makes me really angry, the more I see it! I keep seeing articles online about her/it and sheesh - what a beyotch!

OM - The Ben Stiller part was the funniest bit ever, IMO! Loved it.

Jenks - Up HIGH! Down Low... too slow!

Seriously, good for you. You humble me.

Heidi - Can you imagine how awesome that must be for her? I mean, wow. David & Goliath... and Goliath and you were once married. Suck it, Goliath!

Lindsey - Yes, Gabourey was a firecracker and so sweet. I hope we see more of her.

Sandra did look amazing, but I thought Meryl looked nice too. She's no Helen Mirren hottie, of course, but she's one chic broad. I love Meryl.

Brooklyn ML said...

I decided last night that I will never watch the Oscars again if Sandra Bullock won Best Actress. Looks like I'll be playing board games this time next year.
I don't think she's that great of an actress, nor do I think we need to be rewarding folks for creating another patronizing portrayal of the black man being rescued by the white man(or white woman, as the case may be).
Seriously, Hollywood, take your hand out of your pants and go make a movie, and maybe a performance, worth my time.

Shannon said...

"Yes, she's a big girl and it must be a stylist's ultimate challenge to outfit her for an event like"

That should not be seen as a challenge, but as an opportunity to dress a beautiful, talented young woman. Her size has NOTHING to do with how elegant and poised she is.

Bev said...

Brooklyn - HA! I can't stop giggling at "Hollywood, take your hand out of your pants..." So true.

Shannon - Nice to see you again.

laurieliz said...

Was soooooo excited for Katherine and OMG, I know that JC is being all, " I was hoping she WOULD win" but REALLY? Ya right!!! Sure...sure..whatever? And, she has been soooo gracious but really? Inside she must be all...Suck it, Bitch!!!!!!!

Mala said...

EXCELLENT stew, Bevers... even though I'm late and the stew is cold and has a funny oly skim to it... but still, mmmmmmm, deeeelish.

I thought the Oscars were, well, a little snoresville.
The Brat Pack looked like poster children for "cute kids that grow up fug"... oh and maybe some sort of anti-drug campaign.

Next item on the ol' bucket list: Bev and Mala Go To The Oscars! We have less than 12 months to make this happen... What do you say?

Now off to google Lady Kanye

Cary said...

Shannon, I must've missed the part where Bev said Gabourey wasn't poised. Size might not have much to do with elegance, but it most certainly presents a challenge for any stylist, I assure you. Now, please, be careful dismounting that high horse. It's a long fall and we wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.

Ahem.. anyhooo...

Poor Steve Martin hasn't been funny in 25 years. Not sure how he keeps getting work, to be honest.

I too dig Jeff Bridges. Great actor, humble guy, family man. The dude abides.

Didn't see Ben Stiller but I'm with Frank, he never makes me laugh. And I'm a pretty easy laugh.

Ally and Judd belong in Twilight or True Blood. They both look undead.

Sandra Bullock - meh. If she can win an Oscar, anyone can.

LiLu said...

I would marry NPH with the knowledge that he would never ever want to bone me. I don't care. Our life would still be AMAZING.