Friday, June 4, 2010

Friday Night Fever: Canned Stew

Hello, gentle readers. How goes it today? I'm okay, but my youngest son came down with a fever that's been going around the daycare so I'm home with him today.

Sadly, he doesn't have this kind of fever.

Of course, I gave him some Motrin earlier this morning and now his symptoms have all but disappeared, leaving me with a cranky but active toddler who won't stop talking my ear off. Oy - it's gonna be a long day!

I didn't prepare any delicious OOBH stew for you today. Please forgive me! I just wasn't up to cooking, so I'm just going to do a short post. Think of it as me opening up a can of Dinty Moore for you.

You're welcome!

Screw the Laker Girls, the Celtics Dancers rock!

(No, I'm not a sports person, but I'm hearing about/seeing a lot of basketball lately. It's big news 'round these parts.)

Thank you for being a friend, Rue McClanahan!

Blanche was always my favorite Golden Girl. I used to watch this show a lot when it was syndicated on weekday afternoons. I'd venture to say that I've seen every episode, and watching it always made me think that getting old and gray wouldn't be so bad as long as I could have some cool girlfriends to live with after all our men kicked the bucket. (Sorry, Jim)

Blanche made me happy because she proved that you may have to get older, but you can stay young at heart forever! Oh, and old ladies still dig sex, which... is awesome.

Of course, now that I'm not a teenager anymore I have my doubts about whether I'll live to be old enough to eat cheesecake on the lanai or pick up dirty old men at the 7-11, Blanche Devereaux-style, but a girl can hope!

R.I.P. Rue.

With friends like these, who needs enemas?

So Gary Coleman died recently, and details about what happened after he hit his head and suffered the cerebral hemorrhage are coming to light. Turns out his darling ex-wife, Shannon Price, saw the whole thing and called 911 but refused to help him stop the bleeding from his broken skull because blood grosses her out.

Uhhh, wow. That's pretty heartless, right? I mean, sure - they were divorced. But still! I wouldn't stand by and watch my worst enemy bleed to death without getting a goddamn dish towel and applying some pressure, much less a man I once claimed to love! I heard the tape of her 911 call and it was terrible; she basically just stood there and watched him dying until the ambulance came to get him.

Then she pulled the plug. The end.

What a gal!

Okay, on that note, I'm going to go get myself some ibuprofin to counter-balance the raging headache I now have. FYI, the whole time I was writing this post my child was leaping against me gleefully, which totally hurt. And was annoying. Currently he is hitting himself in the head with a ukulele and saying, "Ow," repeatedly. So I guess I need to get off the computer and do some actual parenting.

Have a great weekend, all!


Mala said...

"I have my doubts about whether I'll live to be old enough to eat cheesecake on the lanai or pick up dirty old men at the 7-11, Blanche Devereaux-style"
What? This statement confuddles me? 34 is old enough, right? We can get a Slush Puppy while we're at it.

Hope you're feeling better.

Kate said...

Wow, I listened to the call. She's a real piece of shit, huh? Fingers crossed she's not a mom.

Rich Girl Red said...

Oh, Bev, I'm sorry your little fella guy isn't feeling well! Hope he's back to his usual bouncy self in no time.

I'll miss Rue. She gave me hope that you could be hot, sexy, and promiscuous long after time (and gravity) have left their nasty mark. Not all women turn into Granny Clampett after menopause. Thanks Blanche!

I didn't listen to the 911 tape because I had heard about it. What a piece of work! That is some cold shit. I have been know to say (jokingly, natch) that "I wouldn't pee on him if his gums were on fire" but I don't really mean it. Of course, she didn't strike me as that bright either. Probably tripped over the cordless phone on her way to dial 911.

Have a great weekend! I'm down 2 kids (visiting fam in MS) so I only have one wee beastie for the next 2 weeks! Par-tay! I think Happy Hour just became Happy Afternoon.

Heidi Renée said...

WTF is up with her horse smile and cheap wedding dress? She'll probably go after Wee Man or Verne Troyer next. NTTAWWT. Really I just think she and Gary Busey need to be together.

Liz Tee said...

Re: the fever -- one advantage to letting the fever burn itself out is that the kids tend to stay down & quiet. :) No need for Motrin as long as they're not absolutely miserable.

Went thru a lot of that with my son. Give Motrin, fever would drop, then spike in the middle of the night. For days! Finally the doc told me to let it burn out, ferchrissake!

Mala said...

Just got back from listening.. Are you frackin' kidding? What an idiot!

Oh and $20 says she killed him. I mean, not just by being an asshat and refusing to help him, but killed him in a cast iron pan-to-the-head kind of way.

Frank Irwin said...

I've heard that y'all like to pick up old men at Faneuil Hall.

"I wouldn't pee on him if his gums were on fire"

I'll have to remember that one, though I probably won't.

MJenks said...

If Jim ever bites it (sorry Jim), I am going to become a fixture at the nearest 7-11.

Bev said...

Mala - True! It's never to early to adopt a retiree's schedule. Which reminds me, it's 2 o'clock - who's up for the Early Bird Special?

Kate - Ugh, I hope not!

RGR - Thanks! He's napping now, which is bliss on a stick.

I can't tell you how much I love "I wouldn't pee on him if his gums were on fire!" That rules. I need to add that expression to my repertoire immediately!

Enjoy your mostly-kid-free weekend!

Heidi - Gary is too good for this chick.

Liz - Thanks, and I totally agree! I usually try to go that route, but this morning he asked for medicine because his head hurt. He was a hurtin' puppy! I'll try to keep him off the smack till bedtime, though!

Mala - Exactly!

Frank - Yes, but we're trying to cut back. The last guy we picked up was a freak! ;)

Jenks - Awwww, you flatter me! Thanks.

Frank Irwin said...

Huh. I always figured that you'd like freak.

Mike129 said...

"Screw the Laker Girls"

Is that a command or just a request? Did you want to watch? Do you have any handy?

Salt said...

I heard that horses really hate blood. Maybe that's why she couldn't go anywhere near him.

Stupid beyotch.

I hope your son feels much better and I will be pouring out some of my 40 later for Rue. My grandmother and I used to watch that show together. When Betty White goes, I'm going to lose my mind with sorrow.

Bev said...

Frank - Ha! "A lady in the street but a freak in the bed?" only, ya know, a dude.

Mike129 - I don't have any handy, but if you find one I command you to screw her. And sure, tape it. I think I've made it clear that I like sex tapes.

Salt - I know! Don't even talk to me about Betty dying. I can't... sniffle... think about it!

Heidi Renée said...

I'm just going to say it: Lindsay Lohan needs to die before Betty White does.

Samsmama said...

I've had more laughs at Gary's expense, it's awful. I like how she failed to mention to anyone at the hospital that they were divorced, right before she pulled the plug. Not sure that I should listen to the call. Might make me feel bad about it all. Eh, probably not.

Anonymous said...

i can't believe HR said "horse smile". because i was thinking that. that bitch should burn in hell. yup, i said it. and gary coleman was a miserable little troll, but that's beside the point. (or underneath it, really.)

loved rue, but i think estelle getty was my fav GG. we used to watch that show as a family on a random weeknight - can't remember which now.

@salt, you made me LOL with the horse/blood comment.

love your Dinty Moore Beef Stew this week, bev. <3


Senorita said...

I never cared for Gary Coleman. Did you know he ran for governor of CA back in 2002 ? Made such a mockery of our state.

I hope you feel better soon !

MtnMama said...

Good god. I could not listen to the 911 call, but I've heard about it, and as a total aside, that c*nt looks too much like my sister for comfort. How unfortunate.

Those Celtic girls have nice ... outfits. ;)
what can I say? I like green.

Rue was wonderful, and I'm sorry that lately it's just been a parade of the entertainment of my younger days going up in smoke.
We'll have to carry the torch. At 48, am I in "dirty old lady" territory yet, or do I still have something to look forward to?

And I prefer to be sick than deal with a sick kid. Every.time.

Elliott said...

The up-side to the 'Gary Coleman's Ex' thing is that she got NOTHING in the will.

Cary McNeal said...

I hope M doesn't have Boogie Fever. I hear it's going around.