Friday, June 25, 2010

OOBH Stew: TGI-muthalovin-F Edition

Greetings, Bloglings!

What a craptastic week! I'm sooooo glad it's Friday. This week was full of fail and full of suck, and I admit that I had some soul-searching to do as a result of the suck.

Then I remembered... I am LA BEV. I am fabulous! What they hell am I bitching about? No one can take away my fabulosity!

Now drink up, bitches! It's the weekend!

Which brings us to the first ingredient in our Stew this week:

Stuart Smalley was on to something.

Right you are, my man. Right you are.

Kathy Griffin cannot blink.

I caught a few minutes of the new season of her show, My Life on the D-List the other night, and whoa. I'd say it was eye-opening but that would be redundant. When she does the video commentaries she has an unfortunate habit of making a facial expression that involves partially closing her eyes and rolling them at the same time. It's hard to explain and I can't find a video clip, so just take my word for it: it's horrific. She can't close her eyes all the way! How does she sleep? I don't get it!

Don't get me wrong, I actually like her. I know a lot of people don't care for her but her comedy always makes me laugh and I love her stand-up specials. She's also very much herself all the time, I don't think it's an act, so I dig that about her too. But jeez, ladycakes... lay off the surgery for a while! You're starting to resemble Kenny Rogers and Joan Rivers, and that's not a good thing.

Move over, KFC's Double (Cardiac) Down, there's a new artery-clogger in town!

Friendly's Grilled Cheese Burger Melt.
1,500 calories. 97 (!!) grams of fat. 2,090 grams of sodium

For those who aren't familiar with Friendly's restaurants, they're a diner-type chain here in the northeast that specializes in ice cream. Most of their meals include a free sundae, which they call a (heh heh) "Happy Ending." The food is standard diner fare, and the kids LOVE it.

The other day they unveiled their newest attempt to fatten up the collective paunches of Americans. It's a hamburger, but instead of buns it has... wait for it... two grilled cheese sandwiches. Two. Grilled cheese. Sandwiches. AND a burger. And fries.

Fuck you, Friendly's. Aren't we fat enough?

Snoop Dogg is having a(nother) moment.

I can't help but notice that everyone's favorite perpetually-stoned Doggfather is everywhere.

First he got his Willy Wonka on in Katy Perry's "California Gurls" video.

Then he hopped on the True Blood bandwagon and brought us the sweetly-campy "Oh Sookie" video.

"Try to read my mind, you might get wet."

Then he randomly popped up in this funny Adidas Star Wars ad:

I want HIS agent! Also, I want David Beckham to play on my team. And by "team," I mean in my pants. Yowza!

That's it for this week. Hope you all have a lovely weekend!


Kari said...

Friendly's! There are certain things I miss about New England and Friendly's is definitely top 3. Fribble me, bitch!

I honestly threw my head back and guffawed at the Oh Sookie video. How have I not seen that? That was freaking hilarious.

Hope the weekend cures your weekday woes, pretty lady.

Molly's Mom said...

Well, now I know the menu item to AVOID this summer when I finally get to eat at Friendly's! (We're going to Maine in August...can't wait!)

Kate said...

I wonder how many weight watcher's points that thing is.

Bev said...

Kari - Oh, I'll Fribble ya! I'll Fribble ya but-good!

I love the Sookie video too, and now I cannot get that song out of my head!

Molly's Mom - Definitely skip that monstrosity, and wave hi to me as you drive through NH!!

Kate - About a week's worth, I'd say.

Frank Irwin said...

Man, I love the grilled cheese, but can't even bring myself to eat one of them, with all the buttery cheesey goodness, much less two of them, as the buns in a burger!

Maybe if they used enough dill pickle slices....

Mike129 said...

But, Bev, I thought it was a good thing when you suck. No I am all confused.

That Friendly's sandwich is a bit short on the mean, don'cha think? (We all know Bev loves her meat!)

MJenks said...

I'll take a moment now...after staring at that first picture for something resembling "too long" but not quite "get the restraining order ready" remind you that, though I can't quite bend it as well, I did play soccer. And was quite prolific.

Maybe not as a goal scorer, per se, but prolific nonetheless.

That is all.

MJenks said...

Okay, so it's not all.

Friendly's...come on. That's too much even for me, Captain Lardass.

But, hey, I guess it does have the redeeming qualities of "lettuce" and "tomato" on there.

Tomato smothered in mayonnaise is still tomato...I guess...

Mala said...

So that's what Oasis is up to these days.

And how did I miss that on the Friendly's menu? I could order that and have a meal for me and the kids all in one shot.

And yes, this weekend will cure your woes. Oh, yes it will.

Mala said...

Damn it!!!! Now I want a Fribble.

Salt said...

Sandwiches like that should not exist. I cannot let my husband see that thing.

I hope you have a beautiful weekend filled with delicious tropical cocktails, Bev!!!

Bev said...

Frank, I can bring myself to eat A grilled cheese. A, as in ONE. With fat-free Kraft Singles, wheat bread, and Smart Balance instead of butter.

*sigh* This is what my life has become.

Mike - Yes, sucking has it's place, for sure. As does meat....

Jenks - *blush* Thanks for making my day, you soccer star, you!

LMAO @ "Captain Lardass!"

Mala - Yup, I'm counting on some awesome girl time to cure what ails me! Bring it on!

Salt - Exactly, that's what I'm saying! It's just evil on a plate, right there.

Hope your weekend is also marvelous!

Molly's Mom said...

@Kate: That thing would be 37 WW points. Yikes!

After looking at the menu, perhaps I'll pass...I'd like to not have a heart attack or stroke on vacay.

Heidi Renée said...

I do not understand the appeal of that sandwich/burger/orgy. Really, all you're getting more of is bread. Who really wants to eat four slices of white bread at once? Extra cheese, I understand. But they've taken the least desirable part of the meal and doubled it.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that I'll have that strawberry drink you're having, and if Snoop could spare any gummy bear minions, I could use a few.

WV: fuecit. Yeah, fuec it is what I say to this week.

Heather said...

I always enjoy your stew. Can't wait to have more! BTW Snoop Dogg is my HERO!

Elliott said...

The first time I saw the Friendly's ad, I heard the heavens open up. Burger? ON grilled cheese? With another grilled cheese on top? Dayum. Because it's not just more bread, it's more FRIED bread. Beer-batter that puppy, and I think we have this year's state fair 'food-on-a-stick' winner.

I was thinking the other day I need a little daily affirmation on the wall of my office next to my ever growing task list.

MtnMama said...

I can say with confidence that maybe the reason I'm still the same size I've been all these years is that I look at that Friendly's offering and thing "yuck". Maybe it's genetic.

Also? I am so seriously lacking in "awesome girl time" (you know, the kind that doesn't involve Dora the Explorer) that it is approaching critical mass.
Mala and Bev - I need an intervention!

oh, and my word verif? stifta. I'm not even going to comment on what ELSE I'm not getting enough of.

Senorita said...

That Grilled Cheeseburger sandwhich is all I would eat all day.

I bet they even sell a large fries and soda with that.

tracey said...

i've been gone for so long but it did my shriveled little heart good to read your posts again. sigh. like a big piece of cake after too many days on weight watchers. dee-lish. : )