Do you think I can remember any of it now? Uh, no. In fact, all I can remember now is that part of it involved the word, "taint," and my friend Karen telling me that she'd slept with a few members of the same family and they all had "really big taints."
What the --? Did someone slip me a tab of acid while I was sleeping last night? Good God.
Since I'm obviously not going with that gem of an idea, I guess I'll throw together some delicious OOBH Stew for us instead. I hope you have some wet naps handy 'cause this batch is SLOPPY.
Jennifer Aniston is dating FLOYD!
You all know I *heart* 30 Rock, so Jason Sudeikis will always be Floyd to me. I do love him on SNL too; his Joe Biden impression always makes me laugh!
Apparently Jen and Jason met while filming The Bounty Hunter, but Jen wouldn't date him until his divorce (from a 30 Rock writer) was final. This is just more proof that she is a stand-up lady. I've always been solidly Team Aniston and for the life of me I'll never understand why the media/bloggers pick on her. Because her husband cheated on her and left her for a gorgeous freak like Angelina? Because she has had a hard time finding the right partner? Because she's beautiful in a very normal kind of way? I don't get it.
Good luck to them! Something tells me he'd be a good boyfriend... just as long as he doesn't move to Cleveland.
Insanely-hot actor Joe Manganiello joins cast of True Blood.
I should have known that the people who gave us Eric the Goddamn Vampire would cast someone so mouthwatering to play Alcide the Were in this season of True Blood, but I didn't get my hopes up because of the disappointment that was Jacob in the Twilight movies. I'd say more, but I'm typing one-handed.
What?! Oh, come on.
If I were a dude, this is where I'd use the word, "FAP."
Katy Perry needs to get over her-damn-self.
Everyone is speculating that she was referring to The Ga's new video with this tweet, and everyone is also talking about how Katy's whole act/persona is a cheap attention-grabbing ploy to disguise the fact that most of her talent is in her brassiere. I mean, really; Katy's songs are about kissing girls, getting married while drunk in Las Vegas, and most recently, how hot California "gurls" are and how they'll "melt your popsicle."
Also, fart jokes are universally funny, Katy, so straighten your blue wig, put on your big girl panties, and STFU.
Kelly Osborn has old lady hair.
Uuuuuhhhh, okay. I guess my Grandma was really edgy because she had that exact same 'do for decades! Way to be cutting edge, Gram.
Lindsay Lohan fucked up again.
Color me shocked! Lindsay's SCRAM anklet was set off at the MTV Movie Awards last weekend, indicating the presence of alcohol in her system. Of course, she denied it ever happened via Twitter, which is a total lie and everyone knows it. She paid $10k to stay out of jail (did you know you only had to pay 10% of your bail? I sure didn't) and now her idiot mother is claiming that someone spilled a drink on her poor, innocent daughter's leg to set off the alarm.
GIMME A BREAK!
Ya know, I follow LiHo's Tweets because I find it amusing to listen to morons talk, but she is so delusional and self-involved that it's really painful at times. The other day she randomly tweeted about how hurtful those E-Trade ads were. Remember the "milk-a-holic" ad that Lindsay assumed was about HER? Yeah, she's still talking about it. GAH. Even at 23 when I was undoubtedly wrapped up in my own tiny little world I don't think I was that clueless and egocentric. At least, I hope not.
That's it for now, beautiful people. Enjoy your weekends, and we'll reconvene here on Monday, mkay?