Friday, August 6, 2010

OOBH Stew: Scarred For Life Edition

Good morning! How are my FOOBHs today? I'm good, just a little tired. I've got a headache THIS BIG and it's got I-have-no-idea written all over it. Seriously, it's been a few days and I can't shake it. I'm sure I'm just tired, but it's getting old.

I'm still thigh-deep in The Passage and I've decided that it's one of the most intense books I've ever read. It's like Stephen King's The Stand on steroids, and last night I found myself weeping as I read it because it's just too real; and the reality of what would happen to our world after a cataclysmic event is that we're all pretty much fucked. Usually when I'm really into a good book I have a hard time putting it down because I'm a little ADD about reading, but this one is different; I need to take breaks because it's just so emotionally-wrenching.

Hmmm, on second thought, maybe I do know why I've had a headache for days....

Anyway, let's have some OOBH Stew and forget our fears, shall we? Oh, except I've kind of got a whole horrific images theme going on today.... Oops.

Heard of The Human Centipede?

This movie is apparently one of the most gruesome horror flicks ever made, and I personally have no intention of seeing it. However, since it's making such a ruckus in the world of Pop Culture, I felt I should at least acknowledge that it exists. What better way to give it a nod than with humor? Here's Comedy Central's Daniel Tosh spoiling the movie rotten and somehow making the gore as funny as possible in the process.

Spoiler Alert - Human Centipede
Tosh.0 VideosDaniel ToshWeb Redemption

NOTE: I'm serious about the SPOILERS. He basically gives a summary of the whole plot, which is good for those of us who like to stay on top of stuff but don't want to scar our souls with this crap.

Dood, Alicia Keys got wicked fat.

Haha, just kidding! She's pregnant, yo, and still rocking a bikini. She looks pretty great. I don't even wear a bikini when I'm NOT knocked up, so more power to her!

Laurence Fishburn's daughter became a porn star.

Picture this guy as a chick. Now picture him naked, riding the disco stick.

Yup. Poor Morpheus.

His 18 year-old daughter Montana is fulfilling her lifelong ambition of becoming an adult film star.

Reach for the stars, Montana!

And after that, reach for your ankles. D'oh!

News Flash! Britney Spears is still a mess.

Here she is walking around L.A. yesterday, slurping on a milkshake and not wearing pants.

I can't say as I blame her because it's a well-documented fact that La Bev also hates pants.

Still. My eyes!

That's it for today. Tonight I'm staying up way past my bedtime to go see Inception with the Huz. I'm looking forward to it but had better start caffeinating if I want to make it past midnight in those comfy stadium seats!

Have a great weekend, all.


Kate said...

Loves me some Daniel Tosh. And WTF Brittany???? Geez, grow up.

Kate said...

Something is obviously wrong with me. I just went and looked up that movie on Google images. Ummmm.....holy hell. No thanks.

Mike129 said...

Thanks, once again, Bev on keeping me up-to-date on the important society happenings.

I love that Montana says about her dad: "Eventually, I hope he will be proud of me." Er, right. Don't hold your breath, babe!

Oh, and thanks for the Brit pics. :D Pants are entirely over-rated.

MJenks said...

I've been up to date on the Human Centipede for months now.

I'm kind of sad that it's now becoming more mainstream, because for a while it was like I knew something awesome that few other people knew about.


TS Hendrik said...

I wrote out a non-review of human centipede when it came out. I've heard from a lot of people that the concept is more disturbing than the actual movie since it really doesn't show that much. I refuse to see it though purely because of what it's about.

Cary said...

I'd like to make a human centipede with Alicia Keys.. but only if Brittney is behind me so I can poop on her.

"You're a great singer.... FOR ME TO POOP ON!"

Frank Irwin said...

Bev, are you monitoring my (key) strokes? I saw that Tosh HC spoiler just last night.

Melissa said...

Couple of my braver girlfriends watched the centipede movie... I will not. I avoided the 2 Girls, 1 Cup video for the same reason. My imagination is enough. I, with my memory, don't need actual horrific images in front of me to live with forever and ever TYVM. *Shudder*

And geez no wonder you have a headache... The Stand on steroids?!? I am muy curioso.

Rich Girl Red said...

I love spoilers. Such a timesaver--thanks Bev! Dang, Brittney, put on some knickers for crying out loud. We are SO tired of seeing your hot pocket every time you leave the house!

I love Alicia and her baby bump. Rock that 'kini girl!

onebadmamajama said...

O.M.G. I googled that movie and it sounds beyond horrible! *shudder* The fact that the writer/director had to hide the fact that they were oddly connected from the financiers says ALOT. *Squick*

I have ordered "The Passage" from Amazon and can NOT wait to get it. It had better be good;)

As for Montana, I feel sorry for her and her family. I'm sure drugs are playing a part in there somewhere.

middle child said...

"Reach for the stars, then reach for your ankles." Too funny!!!!

Senorita said...

Hola La Bev !

I always love your meaty stew !

Alicia Keys apparently feels that it's okay to now flaunt her pregnancy since she recently got married despite the fact that she was the homewrecker in his previous one.