Monday, August 30, 2010

Today kinda sucks, so let's have a laugh.

Hey there, beautiful people. How's it hangin'?

I'm having a rather shiteous day, but I'm doing my best to pull myself out of it*. It's a gorgeous day out and I woke up in such high spirits, but one thing lead to another and now, yadda yadda yadda, life sucks.

No, no, that's being melodramatic. It's not that bad. All of the important things are still okay in Bevland, but I did have to deal with the following irritants all before noon today:

* I weighed myself this morning for the first time in months. Motherfucker! That scale simply must be broken.

* The daycare charged us $20 because J got stuck in construction traffic and was exactly 2 minutes late to pick up the kid last week. Two minutes = $20. I feel like for that price we should at least get a handjob out of it or something.

* The internet was down at work when I got in. I'll bet you didn't know that in addition to being my office's chief ass-wiper, bad smell-hunter, and complaint-listener, I'm also the closest thing to an I.T. person that we have. Turns out it was nothing that 3 hours of my time and a $287 switch couldn't fix. But, at least I had the joy of listening to all of my a-hole coworkers bitch and moan about their lost productivity while I figured out what was wrong, so that made it all very satisfying.   /sarcasm

Screw you guys!  I'm going home.

ANYWHO.  Enough of me kvetching!  These problems are teeny tiny compared to others, so let's watch something funny and have a larf, shall we?  Yesterday the family and I took a little road trip over to the seacoast.  On the way there, the kids were clamoring for Happy Meals and we were hoping to have 5 minutes in which they'd stop talking for a goddamn second so we could hear ourselves think, so we stopped at McD's.  They each got a Batman toy, which seemed harmless enough until we examined it closely.  Then we noticed something... not quite kid-friendly about Batman.  Take a look:

Uuummm, yeah.  Does it look to anyone else like Batman is... um... well.  YOU KNOW.

Oh, look who I'm asking.  Of course you see it too!  That's why we get along so well!  :-p

There.  I feel more cheerful already, though probably not as cheerful as Batman feels right now.  Hope you're all surviving your Monday!

*That's what HE said.


Frank Irwin said...

Was Batman ever played by Hugh Jackman?

MJenks said...

I don't remember who put it out, but there was a Yoda hand puppet that you could only do two things with: make him nod his head and make him rub one out with both hands.

Apparently, Batman's right handed...

Samsmama said...

You could get in a lot of trouble for doing that while you drive. Just warning you.

Liz Tee said...

Thanks for the smile! Highlight of my day. I think I'm going to McD's for a Happy Meal for lunch today - I need one of those on my deak.

Frank Irwin said...

Just be sure to keep it on your desk, Liz, and not under it.

Rich Girl Red said...

Nice. Happy Meal complete with Happy Ending. That Ronald is such a giver.

I'm glad somebody else uses fast food as a kid gag, er, I mean, pacifier. From 1990-2005 I spent so much money at those places I deserved a damn parade.

I hate it when you start out all happy and shit and then people (or life) have to go and pee in your Cheerios. Yes, I know there are worse things, but dammit, this is MY life! Give me back my happy!

Mala said...

For some reason I can't see the picture (its not you, its me. Really). But I'll use my imagination...

Oh! My! Well... Ummmmm. I never! Well, ok, that one time...

Glad to hear you saved the world at the office! You rock! I'm sure they TOTALLY appreciate you for it!

Bev said...

Frank - HAHAHAHAHAHA! You so funny. :)

Jenks - Yes, but who wants to see Yoda wanking? Batman, sure... but Yoda? Pass.

Smama - Next time I promise to leave my crack pipe at home. ;)

Liz Tee - Go get one! He's an instant mood-booster.

Frank - Where's the fun in that?

RGR - Yes! I hate it when the world conspires to piss me off when I have every intention of having a good day.

Oh, and McD's toys are designed to make my children fight/argue over them for the duration of the drive, then be forgotten and abandoned once we get to our destination. Junky things! I have drawers full of them.

Mala - HAHAHA! Oh yes, I sure feel appreciated! Every day I feel the warm glow of appreciation.

Mala said...

Ohhhhhhh, it's a video!

Should I be ashamed that my imagination was FAR naughtier? I didn't think so.

Stacie's Madness said...

go batman
go batman
it's yo berfday.

Mike129 said...

Pretty well and to the right (as always), thank you.

The Batman toy is hilarious. I thought he had Robin for that sort of thing.

laurieliz said...

You got robbed and screwed...and so did Batman...

Elliott said...

I came in to a client stiffing me for over half a mil, thankfully they seemed to get the point and resolved the problem rather quickly before we started pulling money back from all of their employees.

And I deeply sympathize with your 'closest thing to an IT guru' syndrome. That's a job I fell into unwittingly as well. Possibly because I'm the only one in the building with dual monitors.

On my recent trip to McD's, the mother in front of me purchased HM's with 'boy' toys in them for her two 5-7 year old daughters. Wonder if they got Batman, and if so, how the subsequent confiscation was explained to them.


He needs to get some action in Gotham City to limit his wacking off.

Bev said...

Mala - Oooh, I wanna know what YOU thought it was.

Stacie - Woot! Drop it like it's hot, B-man.

Mike - Ah, a rightie. Good to know. ;)

Laurz - Batman got "Rob-in?" Yup!

Elliott - I don't even have dual monitors, but I do know the difference between right and left clicking a mouse, so by default I'm the most qualified person to handle these things. Yes, it really is that sad.

Israel - WORD! Nobody wants a blind Batman, now do they?

Heidi Renée said...

What is Batman supposed to be doing?

Senorita said...

It's always the fast food chains or Disney that have hidden or sometimes blatant innuendo.

Well, at least you don't have to have the talk with your sons about masterbation. Batman is there to do that for you.

Salt said...

I cannot see whatever it is that I'm supposed to be looking at! Seriously, I have a big white blank space. Who is having a bad day now? :(

I hope your day gets better, Bev.