Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Wild Ride Hump Day

I'm not the world's greatest driver.  I mean, I do okay, and most people would probably say I'm okay if they rode with me.  I just feel like I'm bad because I've gotten three speeding tickets (all 3 of which were for going 40-ish in a 30mph zone), and I've had a three minor accidents.  Okay, one was a big accident, but we'll chalk that one up to youthful stupidity.

The first was when I barely had my license; I was allowed to drive my sister's car 4 miles to the bus stop and then home again after school, and somehow I managed to roll the car one morning in that four mile stretch.  It all amounted to too much speed, too little attention (was fiddling with the radio), and some damn good guardian angels!

Gotta look nice for the firefighters!

I can't believe my sister forgave me for that.

The second accident was when I backed out of a parking space and hit an SUV that was speeding down the lane.  That one was ruled my fault but I don't buy it; I was looking over my shoulder and she came from out of nowhere.  Bum wrap!  The third was just last Fall when I hit a tree  in my own freaking driveway because I didn't bother to defog the windshield thoroughly.  Stupid, stupid!

Anywho, I'm older and more careful now, so let's hope that three is a charm.  Below are two very cool videos of people who drive much better (or worse?) than I do.

You have 10 seconds to decide if this is the best driver in the world, the worst, or just the luckiest:

Via Huffpo

CajunMan send me the next video of an 8 minute-long thrill ride through the pre-dawn streets of Paris.  Not only is the driving impressive - the car never stops in the entire 8-minutes, violating countless traffic laws - but the views of Paris that whiz by in the background are gorgeous!

Turn your speakers up for the full effect.

Woohoo!  Hope that got your blood pumping!  This post is dedicated to very cool BOOBH Kerry M., who manages to make loving NASCAR look cool & classy.  :)

So, am I the only admittedly so-so driver out there?  Anyone?


Mala said...

Dang, my computer won't play the moving on.

Oh don't be so hard on yourself, you're fine! And we've driven all over NYC and LA!!!

And it was totally that trees fault!!! It had it coming!

Melissa said...

Luckiest. By far.

And I am not the best driver. I admit simply that it is not my forte. I'm efficient in traffic, always scanning ahead to find the best path, but that's my best driving-related skill. It doesn't make up for the fact that I am spacey and speedy and impatient. I'm lucky I haven't had more accidents.

Mike129 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Salt said...

Ummmm I'm going to go with luckiest on that first person. I wonder if they had any idea what just happened.

I'm going to have to watch the other one when I get home for full speaker-up effect.

Mike129 said...

(Trying again on the comment. I cannot get the URL ref thingy to work properly.)

Oh, luckiest driver. There is no demonstration of any talent at all in that short clip.

I consider myself a better than average driver, but I am not without my own insanely stupid mistakes. The best of these is documented in my "Embarrassing Moments" blog (skip to the 2nd of the 2):

Rich Girl Red said...

Lucky, definitely. I'm an excellent driver. Heehee. No, really. I love to drive. Especially alone, and away from my house.

However, I have had my share of accidents, only one of which was my fault. I had been a licensed driver for 2 whole weeks. I was driving the pick up truck of a guy who had an artificial leg so he had a gas pedal to the left of the brake pedal in addition to the regular one. (Are you with me so far?) We were out in BFE Arkansas riding around on his family's rice fields. I ran into loose gravel and instead of tapping the brake, I hit the gas. I hit a levee and we flipped over upside down in a rice field, that was flooded. I climbed out through the back window and had to drag him, and his leg, out. Good times.

Elliott said...

I am a bad driver. I brake late, turn late, and turn way too fast. I take chances. I've been close to getting a co-worker's breakfast all over the dashboard while driving through hills like they were a roller coaster. I lose focus, zone into autopilot, and it is only through sheer luck (and Lori as my co-pilot) that I haven't done some serious damage.

Five accidents:

Hit ex-gf's mother's car, at her graduation party, in front of everyone.

Icy patch, turned left and the car went right. $600 damage to my father's car.

Week later, drag racing in the snow, took a corner too fast, destroyed brand-new rim, brand-new tire, all told $1000+ in damage to the car.

Hit a mutant raccoon, $1800 to replace the front bumper and lights on my car

Hit a deer in broad daylight, $3800 damage to the same car. The body shop remembered me from the raccoon incident.

That doesn't include the times I've put cars into a ditch on icy or snowy roads, or tagged road signs, dumpsters or posts.

Why do you think I bought a bigger car this time around?

Senorita said...

I've been in four accidents so far (3 were ruled not-my-fault) and let's just say that I am very lucky to even be alive right now. I am totally keeping my fingers crossed as I am writing this, this subject always makes me nervous.

Samsmama said...

Note to self: Do not ride with Elliott.

I'm a great driver, I just don't really enjoy it, nor do I ever go anywhere. I've had my car for 4 years and it barely has 10,000 miles on. I'd say my husband put at least 1,000 of those on there.

RGR, did his leg fall off in the wreck, or was it already off?

MJenks said...

I've not been in a real accident. Been rear-ended three times, but no damage done.

I did drive the mini-van into the back of the garage when I was learning to drive. It scratched the hood in two places.

Based on my mother's shrieks, you would have thought that I had just picked up a litter of kittens and ate them, one delicious little feline bite at a time.

To this day, some twenty years later, I still have to listen to her goddamned shrill recounting of the story. And my counter remains, "You know what, if you had bothered to teach me to use only one foot for the brake and the gas, then that would never have happened."

Samsmama said...

You tell her, MJenks! My dad is a two foot driver, can't stand it. He also likes to make eye contact with whoever he's talking to, regardless of their position in the vehicle. That's why my mom and I make my husband sit up front with him. That way, they can shoot shit, and we up our chances of survival.

wv: "Colbut" Actually, I drive a Cobalt, but close.

Frank Irwin said...

I had a Firebird, once.

Frank Irwin said...


Heidi Renée said...

My mother is the most cautious driver on the planet. She is also a two-foot driver. She has a habit of SLAMMING on the brake and throwing her right arm in front of the person in the passenger seat (to "save" them) if she sees someone stop (or a feather float) in front of her. She can barely drive on the highway without panicking if there are cars on both sides of her.

I'll ride with Elliott. He's probably too distracted to "save" his passengers.

Samsmama said...

I got money says Elliott has mastered the old "stop short."

Samsmama said...

Frank!!! I really thought of looking for that video as I had just seen it on the news. That is nuts! And he about lucky.


Holy Crap. I'm picking that guy to be designated driver. Intense!

Elliott said...

Brake check!

Funny, even people who aren't habitual seatbelt-wearers buckle up when they get in my car.

Oh, and Heidi Renee? I always like the right arm 'saving you' move...great way to cop a feel.

And my boss will repeatedly tell the story of how I ALMOST VERY NEARLY hit a bus in Lower Manhattan while looking around at the city. In fact, I saw the bus, and given that I didn't hit it, I don't see what the big deal is.

Rich Girl Red said...

I'll ride with any of you as long as you don't have any artificial limbs. NTTAWWT.

Oh, and Samsmama, he had taken his leg off before the flip. (You dont want to know why, trust me.) I had to fish it out of the cab.

laurieliz said...

I drive like an old lady...

Bev said...

LMAO! These are cracking me up. I'm so glad I'm not the only admittedly bad driver out there (heya, Elliott!).

Mike, your story cracked me up (part 1 and part 2).

Ugh, Frank - that video made me so nervous! I can't believe the driver lived.

Oh, and one last thing --
"You stop short with me?!"

Elliott said...

I didn't know that technique had a name. The 'Stop Short', you say? Must add it to my list of skills.