Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A rant about my iPoo'd

This morning's drive to work was an exercise in frustration, and at the risk of going all Andy Rooney ("Did ya ever notice that...?") or Jerry Seinfeld ("What's the deal with...?") I need to vent for a moment. 

It was just one of those mornings:  someone had a minor accident so traffic was backed up in town, making me run a few minutes late, my youngest son was stuck on "repeat" mode and just would NOT stop talking, the minivan in front of me was managing to slow down while going downhill without touching his brakes, and then some a-hole with out-of-state plates cut me off and proceeded to go 25 mph.  Normally I'm pretty unflappable in the mornings because I'm only semi-conscious, but today I was getting increasingly irritated.

Since my usual six radio presets were all sucking and/or stuck in commercial hell, I put on my iPod.  Lately I've been getting kind of tired of my playlists so I just put it on Shuffle thinking that with over 200 artists and 800+ songs, surely it would come up with something I felt like listening to, right?


Why is it that in this day and age, with all this technology, they can't come up with a decent method of shuffling songs on a portable music device?  They have just never been able to get this right!  Remember the days of the 6 CD changer?  We all thought they were so cool until you realized that:

1. The machines always pick a favorite CD and keep giving you song after song from that disk while largely ignoring the others.
2.  There is a long pause as the machine clunks and whirs and changes the disks between songs.

So now we've got iPods, which are supposed to be so freaking smart and above all of that, except they're totally NOT.

Today my iPoo'd was positive that I wanted to listen to The Doors.  Well, iPoo'd, you're dead wrong; you see I am neither drunk nor high at 8 in the morning, but thanks for the suggestion.  I push "next" and it starts up with Pink Floyd.  Ummm,  did you not hear me?  I said I WASN'T high.  Next.  Phish.  Goddamn you!  I haven't wanted to listen to Phish in about 10 years.  How did that get on there?  NEXT.  Christmas music.


Okay, deep breaths.  It's all MY music, after all.  Can't blame anyone but myself for having it on there.  What bugs me is that when I skip a song by, say, The Doors, why does it give me a different song and then make the song after that another one by The goddamn motherfucking Doors?!  Why??  It's like the iPoo'd gets in moods and becomes quite insistent that I should listen to a certain artist that day.  One day every single song that came on was about sex; my husband started laughing and said, "Your iPod is horny today."  Other days it goes from Greenday to Mozart no matter how many times I skip tracks and tell it I don't feel very Mozart-y that day.  Shouldn't there be a SMART iPod shuffle function??  I mean, really!

Work with me here, people!

By the time I got to the daycare I had skipped 10 songs for every 2 I let play and I was about ready to chuck the damn thing out the window just to watch it shatter.  Sure, I could go home and laboriously make more playlists, but sometimes I want to be surprised!  No, I don't want to listen to "White Christmas" in July, but I don't want to delete it off the iPod/iTunes either; I tried to keep it from synching the songs I don't like but there it was!  If I were in charge of the world Apple, I would assign all tunes a mood and let you select shuffle by mood.

Turns out, the iPoo'd got it right only four times this morning: Dancing on My Own by Robyn, Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2, A Night Like This by The Cure, and Marching Bands of Manhattan by DCFC.  Turns out I was feeling a little emo this morning.  Who knew?  Did I know I wanted to hear those songs?  No, no I did not, so there's no way I could have made a playlist with those tunes.

Shuffle can be wonderful that way, when it's not causing me to drive into traffic as I fumble for the "next" button over and over and over again.  It's either insisting that I play certain artists or playing random shit that I don't remember downloading at all.  The other day mine played a song in French.  Yeah, French.  Why?  I have no fucking clue.

Does your iPod ever come out with some random crap and you have no idea how it got on there?  Does it have an agenda of its own?  Please tell me I'm not alone.


Samsmama said...

Want to know how cool I am? I don't have an iPod. But I'm fairly drunk and a bit high, so I hope that makes up for things.

Brooklyn ML said...

I can't even listen to mine on shuffle, it just ends up playing Johnny Cash. Not that I have anything against Johnny Cash, I just have to be in the mood.

MJenks said...

Okay, so you may not have been drunk and/or high at 8 in the morning, but do you know where your iPod was the night before? Hmmm?

Lindsey Renee Rose said...

You should use Genius! Pick a song you DO feel like listening to and sync it up with Genius. It should come up with a playlist that is similar to that song. It's not an exact science, but it beats random shuffling. You might have to activate Genius on your itunes settings.

Bev said...

Smama - You are my kinda woman. :)

Brooklyn - YES. Mine favors the 3 Cash songs I've got on there, too. What's up with that?

Jenks - Well, my iPod DOES like to party... Hmmm....

Lindsey - Great suggestion! I've seen the Genius thing on iTunes but have never messed around with it. Thanks for the tip!

Heidi Renée said...

This won't help you in the car, but Pandora.com allows you to block songs for a while and it tracks your "interests." So if you "thumbs up" Backstreet Boys it will work in 98 Degrees and NKOTB, Eminem and it will work in D-12, and so on.

Samsmama said...

If you "thumbs up" Backstreet Boys we are going to have words. Just fair warning.

Frank Irwin said...

I'm no help, sorry. I rarely listen to my iPood, and when I do, I just pick an album. Boring, I know.

laurieliz said...

Since I have everything from kids songs, christmas, wine shop music to top 40 on mine, I either use the Genius option OR I have playlists I put together labeled by mood!

Mala said...

I thought your Ipoo gave up the ghost at your b-day party?

Mine insisted on playing the shitty sample music that came on it. Fucking horrible shit! But for the longest time, I could not delete it!

I hope you're in more of a Weezer mood now.

Bev said...

Heidi - Thanks! I'm sure I'm not the only one thumbs-up'ing the Backstreet Boys, am I right?

Smama - Don't hurt me, Hammer!

Frank - BOOOOOOOORING. But thumbs up for having an iPoo'd at all. Thumbs WAY up. Heh heh.

Laurie - I need to look into this genius option, clearly!

Mala - Yes, the Nano is kaput. Now I have an iPoo'd Touch which has lots of bells & whistles that I do not use.

Sample music... hmm. I wonder if that's where the French song came from? It's all becoming clearer now.

Frank Irwin said...

Ha! The only reason that I have one is that it was given to me. :-)


i have an ipod with no songs on it because im paranoid that it would take away memory from my computer. I know.

Mike129 said...

I mostly use playlists since I have very different styles of music in my library and don't want them inappropriately co-mingling.

Genius is also a good idea!

Rich Girl Red said...

I'm a playlist freak. There's something very OCD about it, but I don't care. I like organizing my tunes into groups mostly by mood, or "theme" if you will. Some of my favorites are Girl Power (duh!), Glee, 70s Classics, Celtic, Showtunes, etc. Then there's the "RGR Series" (patent pending): RGR Sexy (which has songs perfect for, well, you know!), RGR Rock Out, RGR Cry, RGR Workout, etc. Sad, I know. (I have a lot of free time, obviously.)

But like Mike, I don't like the "co-mingling!"

Elliott said...

I don't have an iPod. I thought I might want one after the satellite radio went away, but after this I'm not so sure.

Though after two drives across Indiana this past weekend scanning through the 'country-country-Jesus-country-Jesus-talk-country' mix, I may have to decide on a least of evils selection.

BigSis said...

I've had lots of issues trying to get the right songs on my iPod.

My first issue was when I accidentally added 101 Children's Bible songs. So not what helps me get through the day.

Then I put my son's songs on by accident. Bible songs are better than Jonas Brothers!