Thursday, September 9, 2010

Stats Gone Wild

Greetings and salutations! I thought it might be fun to do another post about the fun stuff Google Analytics digs up for me every month.  I don't check the stats all that often, but when I do I'm continually amused by some of the search terms that bring people here to the OOBH.  I also love looking at the maps and seeing how many people came from each state, country, etc.

Don't worry, stalkers, I can't tell who specifically visits from which state; it doesn't give me your name or anything.  However I know where some of you live (muahaha!) so I do find myself saying, for example, "Aw, Frank Irwin is one of my most devoted BOOBHs.  I just love that guy for always supporting me!"  :)   Conversely, that means I also say, "Huh, why doesn't so-and-so come visit much anymore?  Hope I haven't offended or worse, bored them!"  Because yes, I am annoyingly sensitive; probably too sensitive for this whole blogging endeavor, but fuck it.  I like doing it despite sometimes getting my feelings hurt.

So let's get on wid it!

Last month the OOBH saw a visitor from every state in the U.S. except for these four:

Wyoming - again.  WTF, Wyoming?

Iowa - Call me corny, (yuk, yuk) but it bummed me out that I had no visitors from Iowa.  I mean, what else is there to do there?  Come read my damn blog, will ya?

Maine - way to keep it New England, ya' mooseknuckles!

Rhode Island - Is neither a Rhode nor an Island.  Discuss.

We also had visitors from 24 different countries, including Sweden.  Sven, is that you?  (Hey, a girl can dream can't she?)

A big I LOVE YOU, MAN goes out to the great state of California - the #1 visiting state.  I knew I loved you, Cali!

My home state of New Hampster was numero dos.

And now on to the truly fun & disturbing part... the keyword searches!  90% of the keywords that bring people to the OOBH are simply, "outofbevshead," "oobh," or "bev's head."  It's the other 10% that provide endless insight into the scary people who use Google every day.  Here are some favorites:

fox hole strip club (so many hits for this... so. many.)
panty theft (hey, it happens)
embarrassing lactation stories (I haz them)
belly button removed (who needs 'em?)
my boobs into his head (indeed)
wacky water writer (at your service!)
why is it so hard to be Christian (He's Batman?)
alexander skarsgard sweden (yes, please!)
bad chatroulette moments (if you think masturbation is bad, then yes)
bagpipes I'll stand by you (okay)
bev flipping out jenni (yeah, fuck you, Jenni!)
bevtini (maybe just one)
boobs getting out of hand (they do that)
boobs bigger than my head (depends on whose head)
chatroulette penis (goes together like a horse & carriage)
eau d' twat boy and his mother and his sister (huh?)
emodisis (no, emo DAT is)
how to stew sour apples (beats me, but I'm all over stewing sour grapes)
jm panty sniffing (JM, that's disgusting!)
knullruff (aw, Sven!)
lactation muffins (sound delightful)
lactating boobs clothespin (OUCH!)
list of facebook pet peeves (Yes, I've got one!)
long duk dong can't be a doctor (I beg to differ)
mature ass munchers (let's not drag Larry King into this, ok?)
Mike129 Twitter (Oh, Mike129... someone is looooooooking for youuuuuuu!)
mil in real panties (instead of imaginary ones?)
plumpies in panties (I got nothin'.)
sour apple makes cats not pee (good to know. I guess.)
where should bev's breasts be (Ummmm)
your milk squirting stories are hilarious (Thanks!)

Ah, Google Stats - always entertaining!  Thanks to all of you who visit the OOBH, whatever your reasons.  I love you all, even the folks who stumbled across me while searching for pictures of lactating MILFs.  You rock!  


MJenks said...

it was named for the island of Rhodes, where the Colossus stood.

As for the answer for the next to last question...*holds hands out, palms up*

Brooklyn ML said...

Someone in California loves you! Memememememe!

Bev said...

Jenks - Thanks for clearing that up, Professor Booty! Oh, and I hope your hands are big. ;)

Maeghan - Right back at ya, my sweet!

Samsmama said...

I'd comment, but I'm all verklempt. And now super aware of how many times a day I stop by here. And now super aware of how aware of it you are.

Samsmama said...

Super cute pic, by the way.

Rich Girl Red said...

Does mine show up "Hooterville?" Because that would be so fabulous.

"Plumpies in panties?" Sorry about that. I'm sure that was because of my tattoo picture. :)

Bev said...

Samsmama - Stalking is cute on YOU, though. :)

And thanks!

RGR - Hooterville? That would be pretty awesome! I'm not sure if it does. I don't look too closely at each state individually, I just look at the total numbers and think about who I know in those states.


Californa does have love for you! Prob. because crazy recognizes crazy. I visit your site because It's one of the funniest. Keep doing your thing chica.

Mala said...

It's a fact, people in Maine don't have the interweb. I've never gotten a single hit from Maine. Freakin' Mainiacs. (yes, we can make fun of them, because they'll never see this!)

Since you're kinda big deal in Cali, I say we pay 'em a visit. It's only right.

Mala said...

ummmm, opps. I guess I should check my own analytics before I open my mouth. Yeah, I LOVE people from Maine. Just plain adore them. They ROCK!

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Looks like you can use more love from California - to make up for Iowa and the others - so I'm joining the pack. (I'm here through Mike's blog.)

tracey said...

Offended maybe, bored, never. Personally I'd prefer to offend than bore, but that would be obvious if we knew each other better. >: )

LOVE the random reasons people find our blogs. God bless Al for inventing the internets for us.

Frank Irwin said...

What's really scary, Bev, is when I get a note from you saying, "Hey, I see that you visited my blog, but didn't leave a comment. What's up with that?"!!!!


boobs bigger than my head also depends on which head.

Heidi Renée said...

Like Tupac said, "California love!"

MtnMama said...

Only three people live in Wyoming, and they have dial-up.

The search word comments had me chortling - and today has been FAR from humorous. Thank you, dear one, for lightening my spirits. You are the Christina Hendricks to my January Jones, but I'm still in awe of you.

Bev said...

Israel - Aw, thanks, ya crazy dude! I think funny recognizes funny, too. You keep up the good work, too!

Mala - Um, yeah... Maine is awesome!

Robyn - Thanks, and welcome!! Any friend of Mike's is a friend of mine.

Tracey - Sorry to offend! I agree, at least offending keeps people on their toes. ;)

Frank - We have a mutual stalking relationship, yes? I know if I don't see you around I start pondering sending a search party out on the bike trails of TX. :D

Heidi - WORD! 2pac4eva.

MtnMama - HAHA! I don't watch MM (I know), but I do know what those girls look like so I guess that's enough... I'd like to be a famous redhead with massive ta-tas, but I'll settle for being a non-famous brunette with bottle-red highlights and massive ta-tas.

tracey said...

I wasn't clear in my comment - I'm not offended - sorry. : (

Mike129 said...

Ha! I rarely twitter. They'll have to find a more effective way of stalking me. :)