Monday, January 17, 2011

Those are some Golden Globes!

After being stuck indoors watching Nickelodeon for two straight days I was ready for some adult-ish entertainment last night, but I'm still amazed that I made it through the entire Golden Globes broadcast without switching the channel.  That's definitely a first for me, although you all know I'm a big ol' entertainment junky.  I've gotta say, I enjoyed the show!  I think part of me was just getting primed up for stalking celebrities in their natural habitat next month when I'll be in L.A. at the same time that the Academy Awards are being held.*

Last year's best Golden Globes
I'll offer up my thoughts on the show.  I know the web will be innundated with other people's thoughts on the shows/fashions, but who gives a flying fig?  They're not La Bev, now are they?

Out of Bev's Head: come for the boobs, stay for the irreverent commentary and Asian spammers!

Ricky Gervais as the host.

I was/am a huge fan of his original British Office, but frankly Ricky can be rather hard to take sometimes.  I absolutely hated The Invention of Lying, and I find his in-your-face atheism annoying.  Know this: I don't care what anyone's religious (or non-religious) views are -- I simply don't care.  The way he is always telling the world that they're dumb for believing in God makes him just as bad as the people who tell us we're going to hell if we don't believe.  Get over it, dude. 

That being said, I did recently watch his HBO stand-up special and it was pretty funny, so I was looking forward to seeing him host the Globes.  At the very least, I love it when celebs insult other celebs!  Ricky didn't disappoint.  Five minutes into his opening monologue he had already picked on Charlie Sheen and his high-priced hooker/binge weekends, lambasted Angelina Jolie's stinker of a movie, The Tourist, and called Hugh Hefner a "member of the walking dead" and advised his 20-something bride-to-be not to "look at it when you touch it."

ZING!

Career Suicide?
After the way he insulted people it will be interesting to see how his career pans out.  Hollywood isn't known for being particularly self-deprecating.


Anyway, on to my favorite part of any awards show -- critiquing the pretty people in their expensive clothes!  So what if I'm wearing a shirt with a stain on it and will have to unbutton my pants after lunch?  I'm perfectly qualified to judge the stars.  ;)

Pics courtesy of Getty Images.
Angelina Jolie
I hate to admit that she looks good. The dress style is a little matronly for my tastes, but I love that color.

 Anne Hathaway
"That Hansel is so hot right now.  Hansel."

 Halle Berry
This just looks like a foundation garment (AKA: a corset) to me.  Yes, Halle, we get it -- you're still hot.  Settle down.

James Franco
Love the suit, love the smirk, love him.

January Jones
Tits McGee.  Also, boobs.

 Jenny from the Blech
On the red carpet this looked great, but when she presented an award was way too sparkly and wedding dress-y under the lights.  Since I am not a big La-Lopez fan, I have to say that from the neck down, it's gorgeous.

 Jeremy Renner
I hate his shiny, dainty shoes!

 ???
I don't know this guy's name, nor do I feel like looking it up.  He will always be "Landing Strip Head" to me.

 Leighton Meester
From the Little House on the Prairie collection.

 Megan Fox
I'm going to go ahead and add her to the, "Not Aging Well" category, mainly because she is skeletal.  Megan, it's called a cheeseburger -- look into it.

 Michelle Williams
Boring babe in boring beige. The color of this dress reminds me of support hose.

 Rupert Murdoch and his wife
I'm sure they have a lot in common.  (I ain't sayin' she a gold-digger)

 Sandra Bullock
Welcome to Frumpville, population YOU.  The slouchy dress/pose and the bangs? No.


Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones
Yay for a recovered Jack T. Colton!  CZJ looks amazing in that color, too.

Natalie Portman
Everyone is picking on Natalie's dress.  I don't love pink & red together or the big glittery rose, but I still think she looks lovely.

Seal and Heidi Klum
She looks like she should be meeting Dorothy, Rose, Sophia and Blanche on the lenai.  Seal's shoes remind me of those yucky, furry little black & tan beetles you see around garbage cans in the summer.


Julie Bowen
This dress is the color of dishwater.  It looks like a dog chewed it up and dragged it through a mud puddle.

Helena Bonham Carter

THIS bish.  I love that she just doesn't give a fuck.  Seriously -- the mismatched shoes might as well be a raised middle finger.


So there are my thoughts.  Got any of your own you'd like to share with the group?

*No, I won't be attending the show... but I'll be there gettin' my stalker paparazzi on. ;)

22 comments:

Frank Irwin said...

I wonder if Landing Strip Head's carpet match the drapes? Wait, no I don't.

As much as I like Sandra Bullock and bangs, Sandra Bulluck's bangs just didn't do it for me.

I liked Michael Douglas' comment about how he could think of easier ways to get a standing ovation.

Your comments about Julie Bowen's dress made me laugh both times that I read it.

Great critique, Bevarooney!

Cary said...

I think that's January and February Jones. Those are popular months for motorboating, btw.

Bev said...

Frank, I really didn't need THAT visual image in my head! Ew!! HAHAHA! I loved Michael Douglas's comment, too. He sounded good too; I wondered how his voice would be after all that treatment to his throat.

Cary - ZING! Right you are, my good man. Right you are. :)

Elliott said...

I did not watch the Golden Globes, I don't do awards. However, that shot of RM and wife would be great without Murdoch. And apparently earth tones are in this year. Eesh.

MtnMama said...

You NAILED it, Bevvers! I concur with all of your assessments. Happy whenever green gets some fashion play, as it's my favorite color... and January must be having fun being Anti-Betty.
Go Ricky! (and I know he can be a bit much with the atheist rhetoric, but it inflicts a little balance in a heavily religious world. There's so few people standing up for the 20%, ya know...)

MJenks said...

I've never understood the fascination with Megan Fox. I guess she used to have a nice body, but she's an annual contender for Ass Face of the Year.

Apparently now she's getting ready to play another starring roll in a movie based on my favorite childhood cartoons: clearly, she's the frontrunner for the role of Skeletor.

Liz Tee said...

Why, Landing Strip Head is bad boy Puck from Glee! No, I don't know his real name either. Yes, I watch Glee. I'm sorry.

What IS it with that beige-y/taupe color?? Really, people? When my undies get to be that color, I throw them out.

Sandra's outfit and bangs remind me uncomfortably of my 8th grade graduation in 1973. Not. Good.

Samsmama said...

The color of Jolie's dress is fine, but I found it horrid. And what was she so pissed off about during DeNiro's speech?

Sandra, oh, Sandra...*pat pat*

Ever seen a pic of Julie Bowen in a bikini? Lord, she has an odd body.

And I DIG Helena! If I had a tumor, you know what I'd name it.

Bev said...

Elliott - Yes, earth tones... mud and dingy-rag colored dresses were all the rage! *pukes*

MtnMama, thanks! And you're totally right -- never thought of it that way. He's the voice of the atheists!

Jenks, THANK you. So glad a man agrees with me. I've always thought she has a pretty enough face (with all that make-up, anyway) but her scrawny bod does nothing for me.

Liz, LOL @ the undie remark. SO TRUE. And yes, I had those bangs at one point in my adolescence too, until my mom came at me with some scissors and took care of that mess.

Smama, Angie looked pissed off all night! I loved how they kept showing her when she didn't know she was on camera. At one point she was stealthily applying lip gloss... and looking mad.

Julie Bowen DOES have a weird body! Jim recently spotted her in an Adam Sandler movie that I had no idea she was in. Happy Gilmore, I think.

MARLA!

tracey said...

Could not agree more about Gervais - HILARIOUS man, but dude, so you don't believe in God. We get it. Next.

Helena Bonahm Carter is nuttier than squirrel poo, but I could not love her more. Her hair looks like what you sweep out from under the fridge & I've seen several photos of her in bloomers. I said bloomers. And, I'm pretty sure she pulled her Harry Potter costume out of her own closet. She's awesome.

Natalie Portman is terminally adorable - even preggers she looks better than I did on prom night. Pink & red should stay on Kindergarten Valentines, but somehow she pulled it off.

Kate said...

Note to self: Google Julie Bowen's body. :)

I agree on every point about Ricky Gervais. Love him, but enough with how much of an idiot I am.

Frank Irwin said...

Julie Boen's body

Kate said...

Thanks Frank.

Yeah, that's weird. I'd still rather have her body than mine though.
I hate Angelina's dress. And what the hell happened to Megan Fox?

Frank Irwin said...

One could say the same for atheism.

Frank Irwin said...

Nice photobomb.

ISRAEL CARRASCO said...

I didn't have a chance to see the awards but I agree that his stand up comedy show was pretty funny.

Frank Irwin said...

Buh-bye Ricky.

Bev said...

Tracey - Bloomers, yes! I've seen her rocking those too. She is just a crazy nut-job and I love it. She and Tim Burton make a fabulously freaky couple.

Kate - Yeah, IDK. I'd take my body with 30 fewer pounds over Julie's He-Woman thing. Can we do that?

Frank - love the pics! That photobomb pic is hysterical!

Israel - Loved his special! We laughed a lot.

Frank - yeah, see? Hollywood folks are more used to having their asses kissed than kicked. Pity -- I thought he was funny!

Daisy said...

Your description of the dishwater dress chewed up by dogs gave me a good laugh. :D

Bev said...

Thanks, Daisy! And thanks for following! :)

Rich Girl Red said...

I didn't get to see the GG's but reading y'all's comments is cracking me the hell up! I'll just come here for the recap of all the award shows from now on and not waste my time watching them!

Frank, the link about religion is absolutely priceless. LOVE IT!

Heidi Renée said...

Landing Strip Head's real name is Mark Salling. His hair is that way for Glee.

If Helena Bonham Carter showed up to a red carpet dressed like a normal person, I'd be very disappointed.