Whussup, my humps? How are you all doing on this lovely Monday morning?
I'm pretty good. I have horrible heartburn from eating so much delicious food yesterday, but that's nobody's fault but my own. I don't know what it is about the Stupid Bowl that makes me think it's okay to eat pizza, wings, AND Cheetos all in the same day, especially because I don't even like football.
Yeah, I said it. I don't like football. At all. I don't even feel badly about not liking it, so there!
I was present in the room while the game was on, but only so that I could watch Xtina mangle the National Anthem, see the much-hyped ads (which, correct me if I'm wrong, sucked this year?) and watch the halftime show (ditto). During the game itself I was plugged into my laptop watching crap on Netflix that no one else in my house ever wants to see; a documentary about life after death? Yes please!
That being said, let's get it over with and talk about poor Chrissy fucking up the words to our most cherished and hard-to-sing song. First of all, the girl has pipes and no one can take that away from her. I'm not generally nuts about all the embellishments she adds BUT it's a hard song to sing and everybody makes mistakes, so I don't think she's a terrorist. People need to settle down and back the truck up, am I right? I'm sure she feels awful and has already issued an apology, so this whole thing does nothing to either improve or harm my already ambivalent attitude towards her.
The Bev has spoken! Case closed. ;)
That being said, I think they should have asked this little girl to sing the song and then cut the audio out so that we could have a repeat of this wonderful moment of human kindness:
Speaking of audio cutting out, did everyone catch the halftime show?
Ohhhhh, snap, someone's gettin' fired over that one! I actually like the Black Eyed Peas--not enough to buy a whole album, but I have downloaded some of their big hits. I swear to dog that I would never have lost my baby weight without, "My Humps" and "Let's Get It Started" blasting in my ears at the gym! I also think they put on quite an impressive show with all those neon-lit dancers surrounding the stage. However, I didn't realize that two of the Peas do little more than jump around in flashing LED suits while Will.i.am and Fergie hoot and holler. I felt bad for the guy with the mohawk; dude only had one line to sing and his mic wasn't even on for half of it.
Basically, aside from all the star appearances and the masses of back-up dancers in funky space outfits, the whole thing sounded like bad karaoke. And trust me, I know what that sounds like!
Since I'm a child of the 80's I enjoyed seeing Slash pop up out of nowhere and then disappear back into the bowels of the stage with no explanation whatsoever, though friends of mine who are not tone deaf (as I am) tell me that Fergie was off-key for most of Sweet Child O' Mine. I really wouldn't know.
Finally, any appearance by Usher is a-ok by me... it's a well-documented fact that I dig me some Usher. One of my Facebook friends posted the most hilarious comment from his 8 year-old; he said, "Wow, Usher is a great dancer! He's like Michael Jackson only black."
D'oh! From the mouths of babes....
As for the ads... meh. I didn't see any that blew me away with the exception of one that my sister showed me before the game had even started. She said it reminded her of my kid, and she is SO right!
Sooooo, there you have it: a football non-fan's take on the biggest game of the year. Don't just take my word for it--tell me what you thought!