Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Download Folder Clean-Out Time!

Heya peeps! How's it hangin'? I'm okay, still recuperating at home from my surprise Appendectomy last Friday. I apologize that I didn't get a post-Grammy post written for you this week, but I just wasn't feeling up to it. Also, the show was super lame and boring, yes? I didn't know who half the performers were and found it amusing that during the two and a half hours that I sorta-watched the show, I only saw about four awards get handed out. LA-HAAAAME.

I think it would have been surprising if Lady Gaga HAD NOT arrived in a huge plastic egg, right?

This has been quite a week. I feel better and the pain isn't as bad as the doctor said it would be, but it does flare up when I'm least expecting it. I'll think I'm doing great when all of a sudden my wounds get all stabby and I need to sit down, fast.

Today was the first day since last Thursday that I was able to get up and drive my kids to school all by myself, and then I decided to be an overachiever and stop at the garage to get my car inspected and have an oil change. Then I did a phone interview for one of my freelance jobs and cleaned the toilets (they were nasty and no one in my house seems to see/smell/notice the nastiness). Yes, I AM a Glam Gal! So?

By 10:30 AM I was POOPED! Stick a fork in me, I'm done! I popped a couple Vicodin and took myself a snooze on the couch. Btw, Vicodin is terrific stuff. I had to switch meds yesterday because apparently my body is not as big a fan of Percocet as my brain is. Ohai, rash! Thank goodness there is no shortage of prescription pain relief on the market.

Okay, enough about me and my dream of doing nothing, on to today's pitcher-post!

As you know, I love to cruise the internet in search of funny shizz for my BOOBHs, and when I find something I tend to stash it away for a day when I'm not at my most articulate. That day is today.


I gotz mad flowers in exchange for losing a body part, yo. Two more deliveries today!

Is it cold in here, H&M?

Hello, Royal Subjects!

Did you guys know that Spencer Gifts is basically a sex shop now? Well, it is. Also, I'm really looking forward to July 11th.

I liked his bumper sticker.

Thank you, Empathy Bear. I appreciate that.

My puppy is apparently not a big Elmo fan.

Ah, pictures. They're worth a thousand words. A thousand! That's a lot.

One last thing--my first feature Oddee article is going to be published this Saturday, so please keep an eye out for it. Remember, every time you click on one of my story links I'll earn a fraction of a cent! Woohoo! Also, an angel will get his wings and a puppy will get a Milkbone and a belly rub. What, do you hate angels and puppies? Of course not. So clicky. (But not now. Saturday.)



Megg said...

RE: Spencer Gifts-that chair is huge! How can I find a chair like that? I'd fall on the floor if I tried that move on one of my kitchen chairs.

Mala said...

Megg - Spencers sells the Sex Rocker, I'm sure.

I thought your toaster melted Elmo. Either way, it made me happy.

Nice assortment!

Frank Irwin said...

I always thought that Spencer's was a bit on the sexy side.

I've got some shirts that could sure use some pressing....

Rich Girl Red said...

I'm glad you're feeling better, Bev, but DON'T overdo it! I totally understand the need to clean the toilets. After all, you are the lone female (setter) in a house full of men (pointers). I always swore if I had all boys I would build a bathroom that was tile from floor to ceiling, urinals on the walls, and a concrete floor with a drain in the middle. Hose that puppy down with bleach and squeeeeeeegeeee!

I obviously need to take a closer look at Spencer's next time I'm in the mall!

CajunMan said...

Welcome back to the land of the living, Bev! When do we get to see your scar?

Samsmama said...

When I was about 12 or so I was babysitting for the family across the street. At the end of the night the parents got dropped off in a limo. Also in the limo? Baryshnikov. Good story, right? I'll come back later and tell it again.

So glad you are feeling better!

Mike said...

I hope someone is lying down on July 11th cause that seems like a lot of work if not. Feel better.

Jillinator said...

I can't wait until Saturday now! It'd be awesome if it went viral :) (your article, not your body from the emergency body part removal)

Bev said...

Thanks, all!

Megg - Megg? That's new. ;)

Mala - We have a long history of mutilating Elmos in my house. A long PROUD history.

Frank - Usually I hate ironing, but in that case I might make an exception!

RGR - I LOVE that idea. Market it, STAT!

CajunMan - Ha! Just as soon as I lose 20 lbs. ;D

Smama - What a weird, lovely story. It really got me right here. *tapping chest*

Mike - Yeah, sexual positions that defy gravity... no thanks!

Jillinator - Aw, thanks! Somehow I doubt this one will, but you never know. Thanks for clicking -- the angels and puppies thank you,too!

Cary said...

That Elmo reminds me of the mugshot guy with half his head caved in.

Congrats on Oddee! And Listverse too. I knew your talent wouldn't go unnoticed for long.

Elliott said...

I was convinced I posted something witty and urbane on this post, but it's not here.

So all I can say today is yes about the Spencer's thing. I think the most disturbing thing is that the pr0n is right next to the inappropriate onesies.

Tanya said...

Bev has a blog! Saltsays reads it and I read hers and here I am! It's moi, Tanya. Funny stuff but I always knew you were hilarious.