Sunday, February 13, 2011

Mmm, these drugs are delicious!

Heyyyyy, whussup?

So guess who landed in the ER on Friday morning with Acute Appendicitis? Yep, yours truly!

After suffering through crazy abdominal cramps all night on Thursday I drove myself (!) to the hospital and found myself scheduled for emergency surgery faster than you can say, "WTF." While in the ER I managed to find every staff member who was having an off-day; first was the head nurse who stuck me no fewer than four times while trying to start an I.V., then came the CT tech who didn't attach the contrast dye to my I.V. properly so it burst open and drenched my hair, face, and arm in sticky wet liquid. (Don'tcha hate it when that happens?)

Talk about adding insult to injury! I had to spend the next 24 hours looking like this:

The surgery went really well, though, and they were able to do it laparoscopically so I have hardly any wounds to care for and the scarring will be minimal. That's a relief, since you all know how much I love to rock a bikini in the summer. (HA!)

I stayed in the hospital overnight on Friday and endured the world's most annoying roommate. You know how my crazy coworker talks me ear off at work all the time? Well, this was her in "overweight, disabled drug-seeker" form. She had her gall bladder removed, a surgery which our mutual surgeon said was almost exactly like my appendectomy, but according to her she was in excruciating pain and needed something from every person who walked through the door. The woman even complained in her sleep. I'm not kidding!

By Friday night I was dutifully shuffling around with my I.V. in the hospital hallways. Meanwhile my roommie needed two nurses and an orderly just to go to the bathroom, which I only saw her do twice in 24 hours. What a character! She's totally going to end up in my novel someday.

My friends and family blew me away with how helpful and kind they were. Everyone pitched in to take care of the kids, call and visit, make us dinner, drive my car home, send flowers, and I had countless wonderful messages on Facebook to read when I woke up from surgery. I am so, so, SO grateful for every single one of them. I was feelin' the love from all over! Maybe I should have extraneous body parts taken out more often.

Naaaaaah... that part still sucked. ;)

Anywho, I'm home now and will take the next couple of days off from my "real" job. I have a few pretty big writing assignments to complete this week but hopefully by tomorrow or Tuesday I'll feel up to tackling those, too. I'm trying not to stress out (for a change) and just rest and recuperate, but anyone who has obnoxious kids knows that that's easier said than done.

The doctor gave me pretty powerful pain drugs so I'm a happy camper. Let's just say that I'm not one to "suck it up;" if they give me good meds, I take 'em. My plans are to kick back, dose up, and watch the Grammy Awards show tonight. Hopefully I will be able to stay awake long enough so that tomorrow I can entertain you all with a post featuring my semi-coherent ramblings about the show.

See? Everything I do, I do for shoe. Er, um, you.

Aaaaaanyhooters. We'll talk more later. For now, it's time for a nappy-poo.


Frank Irwin said...

You know that The Ga is on 60 Minutes tonight, right?

And you may want to do the assignments sooner, rather than later, as writing comes easier with drugs.

Or so I hear.

Mala said...

Blogging on a sunday? Great, now my whole week will be askewed!
Glad you're home recovering. I'm getting my drink on in
So I'll need your recap of the Grammys so I can pretend I didn't sleep through it.

middle child said...

Emergency surgery is never fun! But it sounds like you are getting a little better. Take your meds, rest and relax - last time I looked, you weren't superman. Oh, and while you have mentioned all the love you are getting - know that I am sending some too. Muah!

PAMO said...

What a ride! Feel better please and glad you have such great support.

Melissa said...

That sucks donkey balls that you had appendicitis. GACK. Glad you're on the mend.

I must say, though, that it made for one of the funniest damn posts I've ever read here. Maybe you should be on drugs more often, eh? EH?


Get well soon, dear Bev!

MJenks said...

Do they do the incision in the tummy right below the xyphoid process for appendectomy? That's where I had the most issue for pain with my gall bladder-ectomy. It sucked because I couldn't sit up, but I wasn't calling for the nurses because I'm a fucking man, dammit!, so I learned that I could haul myself out of bed by throwing one leg off the side and letting the momentum carry me while I pushed up using my awesome upper body strength.

But, yeah, that totally sucks.

And way to drive yourself to the ER, Bev! Why, your dick is probably almost as big as that cowboy who was stirring the coals.

Get well soon.


Oh man I thought my weekend was shitty. I'm glad you are o.k. Hospitals are freaky, everything about them.

Bev said...

Thanks, all!! As always I love reading your comments. Feeling much better today, though I'm not sure if I'll post about the Grammys after all because they... well, they kinda sucked, didn't they?

Stoopid entertainment industry--be more entertaining!

Dave said...

Wow, sorry to hear all that, and hope you're healing up well. Glad to hear you got some chemical reality alterers to help you get through it.

I don't watch any awards shows because they usually suck - great last sentence, there. For being collections of "the best" of what the entertainment biz has to offer, they all sure are a shitstorm of boring...well, shit.

Hope you had a great valentine's day!

Heidi Renée said...

Yikes--I hope you're doing better now!