Thursday, May 19, 2011

Catch-Up Time: Best and Worst!

Helllloooooo!  First things first.  Yes, I know I've been seriously MIA 'round these parts. My apologies to those who give a flying fig (you know who you are!). I've been busy trying to change my (work) life, which is a lot harder than it sounds, so I let the OOBH slide a bit.  Still love ya, though, and I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things pronto.

So, let's catch up! I thought I'd review the best and worst stuff that's been going on in my little corner of the world. I'll do my best to keep this brief, but I can't make any promises.

The Best

Tina Fey's book.

Holy shnikeys, this woman can write. The book is simply awesome. She shares little bits of wisdom that she's picked up over the course of her career as a writer and entertainer, but she's not obnoxious about dropping this knowledge.  She's infinitely self-deprecating and aware of how fortunate she is, while also acknowledging the hard work she put in to get where she is.  I learned a lot, and most of all,  laughed a lot.  This is stay-up-late-laughing-out-loud-by-yourself-in-your-silent-living-room good.

Learning to shut my pie hole.
I've been working hard on another personal goal lately, and that is to stop giving such a tremendous fuck about everything. I've been much happier. Now, when someone says something childish or annoying to me, I restrain myself and don't respond.  This is huge for me, because previously I'd get into it with them and get myself all worked up, which really helps no one.

Something else I learned from Tina Fey--when someone acts badly you have to ask yourself if s/he is standing in the way of what you want.  If not, ignore them and go about your business. You're not going to change their mind, so why bother?  If they are in your way, find a way around them -- over, under, around!

Seriously, read the book.

The Worst

The ticks
I'm not sure if this is a sign of the impending Rapture or what, but the goddamn motherfucking TICKS have already started their campaign to rule the world.  Is it a bad tick year for everyone, or just ME?  It started about two weeks ago when my youngest son wandered up to me with a tick attached to his chest.  I was totally skeeved out, naturally, but I plucked that sucker off of him and took great pleasure in squishing it till it couldn't be squished no mo'.  Little did I know that that tick had a legion of friends in low places.

A few days later, Jim took the dog for a walk and came home covered... and I do mean COVERED... in disgusting, crawling ticks.  This is how I got the honor of searching my naked husband's nooks and crannies for creepy-crawlies, which was highly unpleasant for us both.  Later that night I found three more of the stubborn bastards on the dog despite being freshly dosed with Frontline, and worst yet, the next day as I sat at work I felt something tickling my arm under the shirt.  Sure as shit, there was a tick crawling on me!  And this was after TWO showers! This morning I found another one on my pant leg.

As a certifiable arachnophobe, this WILL NOT DO.  I've cleaned my house top to bottom, done all the laundry in HOT water, and am one step away from setting off some sort of chemical bomb in my home to make sure I never see another blood-sucking fuckazoid again. FML!

The Day Job
At the risk of being dooced, which is a chance I'm clearly willing to take, I will say that things have gone from bad to worse at my day job. 

Let's put it this way: if you could choose between sitting 4 feet away from a micromanaging boss with no concept of personal space OR an elderly cat lady who chatters like a deranged squirrel all day, which would you choose?  Tough one, innit?

I'm not about to jump into another crap job that might turn out to be worse than this one, so until the perfect gig comes along, I'm sticking it out. But I'm working on it every day and outwardly maintaining my usual sunny disposition, which is all I can do.

The Rain
It has been gray, overcast, and raining steadily for a week now.  I'd make a joke about building an ark and all that, but frankly I'm too tired.  I'm either suffering from SAD or Lyme disease, both of which are super-duper awesome, right?  

Don't act like you're not impressed.

So there you have it! I have so much more to say -- we didn't even get into the whole Arnold Swartzenegger diddling the maid thing or the fact that Hanson has a number 1 song on the charts again (a sure sign of the impending apocalypse)! But I've got work to do, so I'll sign off even with all of this unfinished business.

What have YOU been up to? What's the best and worst stuff happening in your life?


MJenks said...


I don't know if the ticks have been worse this year or not down here. It's usually a bad tick year for us. But then, I have a shit ton of deer that live near me.

I plucked a tiny little fucker off my ankle this weekend. No target yet, so I'm fairly sure I'm Lyme-disease-free. But that bastard itches like a bitch...

Harmony said...

Jenks beat me to it, bit I'll join in Spooooon!!!!

Our dogs keep getting ticks, but if I start finding them on the family or myself I'll move into a palstic bubble.

Not sure that I have any spectacular best or worst stories, just the normal mediocre rolling coaster ride of raising children. Sometimes you can't smile big enough and sometimes you can't drink enough. ;)

Congrats to you on your best! I can't wait to read any article that you come up with for the Cracked sure to link it for us when it happens.

rosi said...

Ooh, ticks. I would not like that at all. Lisa would be having non-stop screechy crying fits, since even cute little lady bugs are apparently out to get her. So better you than me, hope your boys handle it like little men.

Sigh... I might be getting a part-time job at a local kid's club, so that's good. Not really interested in pursuing a real career or my former sw devel right now, plus kid's club thing gets me free play and half price classes for my kids, plus pre-school. I suppose all that is good, but until all the t's are crossed and i's are dotted and I have it all figured out I tend toward anxiety.

So perhaps that's the good and bad?

Family is well, kids are cute and irritating often at the same time, can't complain, but I still do (should have seen what the the hubby did putting out the trash this morning... sheeesh! is he ever going to get an earful)

Continued good wishes on your writing. I love reading your stuff, so keep us posted!

Anonymous said...

BEST: Having some new Bev-feed. Yummy as always and well worth the wait!

WORST: I don't like how I smell and I'm not pg (ok, that part belongs in the 'best' category but still).

I'm buying Tina's book and checking out Cracked asap. All because of you.

Bev said...

Okay, now I feel like an idiot for deleting the bit about trying to write for Cracked! I got a rush of superstition and decided to remove it, but you guys are too quick for me. ;)

For those who missed it, I'm in a workshop to write for Cracked, and it's tough to get articles approved but I'm going to keep at it. Stay tuned....

Jenks - I don't know that I've been bitten yet, but they've definitely crawled around on me... which is bad enough. I keep taking these Silkwood-esque showers but I can't remove the creeped-out feeling! Ack!

Harmony - If a bubble were do-able, I'd be all over it. I'm no neat freak or anything, but I do like my house tidy, and this... well, this aggression will not stand, man!

Rosi - Danny went through an "I hate all bugs" phase too, but he eventually got over it. Mostly. He still hates bees.

Good luck with your new job!! I hope it turns out to be great for you. Take it from me, stay away from "real careers" as long as possible!

Anony-Linda - Aww, you commented! Yay!

Sooo, what do you smell like, exactly? Limburger cheese? Hot bag of garbage on a street corner in Phoenix? If not, how bad can it be? ;)

Enjoy reading Cracked! I always do.

Heidi Renée said...

So you have your own personal female Milton? How is she with staplers?

I guess my best thing happening is that I don't have a worst thing!

Frank Irwin said...

After a dove hunting expedition in my youth (but not in my pajamas), I pulled 50 ticks off of myself.

Bev said...

Heidi, she's okay with staplers, but terrible with everything else. Don't even ASK her to use the copy machine.


Elliott said...

I'm all skeeved out about the ticks now, and I'm sitting in my nicely tick-free finished basement. Gee, thanks. I have thankfully never been tick-infested, despite crawling all through the underbrush as a child.

The rain, though? Major suck. I'm just glad the sun is out again today, that's two days in a row and three whole days this month. It's early, though, so I suppose I shouldn't jump for joy just yet.

So glad the Bev's back!

MLG said...

I abide.