Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Hey Facebook, you look like crap today.

Boy, so Facebook really screwed the pooch this time, eh?  Today my news feed was abuzz with friends who were complaining about ANOTHER new layout change implemented by Facebook and demanded by absolutely no one.  I don't usually complain about layout changes; I don't like to brag (ok, maybe a little), but I'm pretty tech-savvy and don't normally have a problem figuring out computer stuff like this.  But this, well...  this is a huge steaming pile of road apples, IMHO.

We fear change.
The new layout is distracting, irritating, cluttered, and invasive, and the worst part is that we have no choice but to use it.  If I could, I'd turn off the scrolling, repetitive status updates on the right-hand side of the page, but can I do that?  NOPE.  Instead, as I'm reading my news feed (middle column), I'm seeing the same damn status reports on the right side, plus I'm seeing every conversation every one of my friends is having, most of which are none of my goddamn business, nor do I care that So-and-So just said, "Lulz!" on SomeGuyIDon'tKnow's status.  I also can't seem to hide that helpful little box that's suggesting I subscribe to Fucktard McNobody's status updates, either, and the actually helpful stuff like people's birthdays...?  Hidden somewhere amidst the verbal debris, never to be seen or heard from again.  In other words, don't expect any birthday greetings from me for a while, friends.  Sorry.

Blogger recently changed their layout, and quite frankly, The Bev does not approve of that either (see Garth, above), but since they're not run by Mark Zuckerberg (yet), I was given the choice of whether to use it or not. Imagine that!  What a fucking concept--giving the people a choice?

"This does not compute." ~ The ZuckBot 3000

I wonder what Godfather Baby has to say about this?

I've been trying to visit the F-book less lately anyway, which is proving pretty much impossible because I have an iPhone, and Facebook and iPhone go together like popcorn and dental floss. It's just too easy, too accessible, too always-on.  I'm doing better during the day though; I'm not keeping my email and F-Book windows open all day long like I used to, but I still take frequent breaks to check out the 5-6 friends' status updates that Facebook has deemed important enough to show me.  It's a hard habit to break!

Well, as always, I'll try to look on the bright side -- maybe this new layout will be just what I need to visit that addictive little microcosm of gossipy goodness even less.  It still looks pretty normal on my phone, so maybe I'll just use that more instead of the full site.  In which case, expect more typos from me, friends, because that whole Damn You, Autocorrect thing?  It's totally real, and I've fat-fingered some really awkward responses to people as a result.  True story.

Okay, I've ranted enough about something I can't control.  I'm going to go do some writing on this little story I've been working on for months now, off and on.  The other night I had a little epiphany about where my story is going and how it should have started, so I want to get it out while it's still fresh and before I lose my momentum and start goofing around on FB again.  Have a groovy day, BOOBHs!


MLG said...

I've often wished that Facebook didn't exist in my world.

Bev said...

You and me both, sista.

Anonymous said...

*stumbles in from FB* I'm..... so....confused. What the what?! But still, FB doesn't want me to see what you're doing! Just that chick have no idea why I'm friends with.
Zuckerberg is just having his period and he's making us all pay!

BTW blogger is still holding a grudge. Bitch says I don't have authority to view your page if I login.. Grrrrrrr

Frank said...

I don't normally notice the scrolling thing on the right, but when I do, I kinda like it, being the stalker that I am.

Mala, Blogger won't let me comment here when I'm logged in, either.

onebadmamajama said...

I don't see the scrolling thingy on FB, so that's good, right? Other than that I HATE the new look. Totally sucks donkey balls. I guess FB knows how much we are all hooked and enjoys messing with us.

Frank Irwin said...

Poking the hornets' nest.

Frank Irwin said...

I like the way that you can hover over a comment in the scrolling thing and the whole post comes up.

adrianne said...

*still getting over the fact that i can actually leave a fucking comment*

yeah, def do not like the new layout of the facewebs. and fucktard mcnobody made me lol.


Kate said...

Straw that broke the camels back it was. I deactivated my account yesterday (not permanently I'm sure) but I'm pretty damn happy about it.

Do I really need to know what that guy that sat in front of me in sophomore math who farted all the time and smelled like cabbage and cumin is doing all of the time? and do I really care what he thinks about some lame status (grrr...don't you hate the word status? It pisses me off now) that I thought was funny, insightful, entertaining, subversive, etc.... Yeah, I do, a little bit. And that is the problem. We've made these things matter, when they really don't.

**steps down off miniature soapbox**

Again, glad you're back blogging. It gives me a happy face.

Bev said...

Mala! You're back! Thanks for swinging by. I think I fixed my commenting problem yesterday, with Frank's help. Frank fixed LOTS of things yesterday -- he's a regular handy man! ;-)

Frank - I can stalk with the best of them, but I'm a little more choosey about whom I stalk, I guess. The new FB is just TMI for me, which is sayin' something!

OBMJ - Yes, I think they do like messing with us. They know they've got us by the balls....

Frank - Poke.

Oh, and nice avatar. HAHAHA!

Adrianne - Yay! So glad you can comment again. I missed you. Love ya back :)

Kate the Great - Thank you for what is possibly the greatest comment ever written. Cabbage and cumin? WTF was that kid eating? Then again, I guess that explains the farting....

I'll miss you on FB, but I understand. If my income (and future income) weren't tied into going there, I might be taking a little hiatus as well.

Oh, who am I kidding? That would involve will power, and anyone who has ever seen me with a bag of chips in my hand knows that will power is not my strong suit!